@yoshinat0r That can be SO normal especially at 3 months! There’s a lot of uneven sleep ahead, even for sleep trained babies in cribs.
I’m honest and just ignore the judgement. Mine is now 16 months and he may have 2-3 wakes for a quick feed still. On a bad night, if he’s sick or teething, it can go up to 4 again. My current ped told me he’s using me as a pacifier and shouldn’t need to wake for feeds anymore. I told her I understand. That was the end of that conversation.
@yoshinat0r It helped me to remember your pediatrician only knows what they know and it’s likely they are going to choose hyper caution > mother’s intuition for many reasons. Ultimately it doesn’t matter much what the forms say….your baby will soon no longer be a baby and no one will ever look at them again… But I get how it feels like you’re cheating on a test…. At the end of the day it’s your baby, your choice and if you don’t feel like defending your choices then don’t, or don’t be upfront/lengthy about it. And if they give you their opinion just say thank you and don’t let it invade your thoughts. Your intuition is powerful and you and your baby’s bond is sooo beyond data collection!
@yoshinat0r I'm an idealist that yearns for a better world, and for better or worse, think my actions contribute to the landscape. I tell the truth because I want the narrative to change and at least more accurately reflect the experience of mothers.
If all the doctors report everyone is sleeping solo, then that is the norm for new moms. And they will struggle as much as I did feeling like a failure when it can be unattainable without CIO. Not every mom will follow their instincts and babies as I am grateful I managed to do even as a 'rule follower'. The shame and guilt is real, so as someone who can 'take it' I'm going to shoulder it for all those new moms who can't, in the hopes it will create a better and more accurate narrative.
Hopefully giving those moms and babies at least a little more peace one day. And more accurate data means data that shows that co-sleeping can be safe too.
@yoshinat0r The doctor would ask, “how’s your baby sleeping?” “Eh, Consistently inconsistent.” And the doctor would leave it at that. He is 9 months for context.
@yoshinat0r My pediatrician has never asked how we sleep, just how many hours my daughter is getting in a night. I think they feel that if wakes/sleep were an issue then I would bring it up to them, but I’ve never been asked about sleeping arrangements, thankfully.
@yoshinat0r I’ve always said mine are in a bassinet or crib next to my bed. It’s a half truth for me, I always have a space for them in case I have to leave the bed/unable to safely cosleep.
@yoshinat0r Honestly I don’t keep track of the number and I tell them that. Then they push for an answer and I make up an estimate. I tell them what they want to hear as far as sleep goes, I’m not interested in their opinion on the subject.
@yoshinat0r I told our pediatrician when I was struggling so much at 4 months. I did say we follow safe sleep 7. She was completely understanding! She has 4 kids herself and I don’t think they were all good sleepers…
@yoshinat0r Unless it is causing you problems or you suspect a medical issue with your child that is causing night awakenings, there is no good reason why your pediatrician should care or even ask for specifics about how much your baby wakes up. I would be skeptical of any practice that presses someone for an exact number, because that is basically meaningless on its own in the absence of other health issues or maternal concern. Doctors are just people, and the practice of medicine is often quite biased. I know a lot of pediatricians who are pretty unresponsive parents.
@yoshinat0r I'm honest because it doesn't seem to matter. I got judgment when her naps were over 3 hours, judgment when they were 45 min, judgment when she slept through the night at 3 months, judgment when she was waking 3-4 times at 7 months. She's 11 months now and still nurses 2-3 times at night and we're fine with it. I'm bracing myself for her 1 year appointment coming up, but our usual pediatrician is back from leave and she's more open to this stuff than the other doctors we saw while she was out.
@yoshinat0r My pediatrician doesn’t ask about sleep! We are in the USA though our pediatrician primarily serves immigrant communities that are much more likely to bedshare (and he is of the same background as are our family). So maybe it’s a don’t ask don’t tell type situation?
The intake forms don’t mention it either. They seem more focused on screening out people who need extra assistance — it asks things like is anybody in your family incarcerated, did anybody pass away recently, are you taking care of an elder, things like that
@yoshinat0r I am honest and not worried about there judgment, not one size fits all with parenting. I have bed-shared since 5mo, breastfed on demand until 14mo, then breastfed during the day until 34mo. My 3yr old still has one wake up each night, and just wants to cuddle and fall back asleep.
Do what works best for you and if at 10mo you still have 2 wake ups and it isn’t bothering you, then just keep doing what is best for baby and you.
@yoshinat0r Canadian here! I lied by omission was asked how baby was sleeping, and answered honestly about wake ups and difficulties, but always was careful with my wording because I didn't want to listen to the fearmongering tactic my dr was fond of using ( I was struggling to quit smoking ( cigarettes)while pregnant, and she focused on every possible terrible thing it could do to my unborn child, and occasionally threw in some possible gruesome outcomes of my own death during delivery. She once heavily implied I was a terrible person for not quitting by the 3 month mark (1.5 months after finding out) and I left that appointment so pissed off, I had 3 during the 10 minute drive home ).
I was asked at one appointment where baby slept, and I answered honestly by saying on me sometimes, when the bassinet wouldn't work. Otherwise, I'd say "she has a bassinet" which wasn't a lie, because we did have one
@yoshinat0r I went with the truth and am suffering the consequences. I’ve had my ped (who otherwise is super awesome) continue to push the CIO method for my very clingy 8 month old since her 2mo appointment. She is a Velcro baby. There is no ‘set her down and let her cry’ she becomes inconsolable for anything except the boob and my personal record for letting her cry is 17 minutes… she literally turned purple and reclogged her tear duct somehow with all the excessive crying. So no, I’m not gonna listen to her cry ‘4 hours or so the first night, 3 the next, but probably more than four on the third and then after that it’s a breeze!’ No ma’am no thank you.
was asked how baby was sleeping, and answered honestly about wake ups and difficulties, but always was careful with my wording because I didn't want to listen to the fearmongering tactic my dr was fond of using ( I was struggling to quit smoking ( cigarettes)while pregnant, and she focused on every possible terrible thing it could do to my unborn child, and occasionally threw in some possible gruesome outcomes of my own death during delivery. She once heavily implied I was a terrible person for not quitting by the 3 month mark (1.5 months after finding out) and I left that appointment so pissed off, I had 3 during the 10 minute drive home ).