How can I tell my mom I don’t want her there for delivery even though she’s a L&D nurse?

[xjosa]

@tinash You know how people that have kids complain about not having a village? It’s things like this that lead to having no village.

Firstly, Baby should be sleeping in your room for the first few months to decrease the risk of SIDS so the second room will be unused. It’s a 2 bedroom townhouse not a 500sqft condo, you guys should fit.

Secondly, having your mom to help and advocate for you during delivery is a great thing. People go with midwives and hire doulas for that exact reason.

Overall She doesn’t sound like a bad parent from what you’ve described so I’d strongly recommend keeping that relationship strong. After having a baby it will give you a new found appreciation for everything your mother has done for you.

 

[tinash]

@xjosa My mother can be a very self-centered person. She was a terrible mother growing up for a variety of reasons which I will not be spilling here. The only reason we are close and talk is because of the work we put in and her finally going to therapy. You’ve made a lot of assumptions here and I understand how you made them but not everyone has an understanding parent who will fight for them. You also have no idea of our living situation. Just because we live in a townhouse does not mean we have space for her to stay here. We don’t.

My mother will not advocate for me. She will tell the doctors and staff what they should be doing based on her opinion and she will argue with people and incessantly complain. She’s already tried directing me in how I care for my diseases that make this pregnancy high risk despite the fact that I have a team of people in charge of that. So while I understand where you are coming from your advice does not apply to this situation. However, it may be helpful to someone else who reads this thread so I’m not upset you posted it. In the future please understand that most people posting something like this are posting it because they’re in a complicated situation and aren’t just being grumpy or unreasonable.