Really really down and scared

[jazzmaniac42]

So I fractured my ankle and am told I have to keep weight off my ankle for 4-6 weeks and am on crutches and a boot.

I live on the second floor

I’m alone, super f-ing alone and can’t stop crying.

I have a 5 year old

I have a job

I essentially have no family. My parents are dead.

I have only lived in this town for a year so I don’t really know anyone.

I’m f’d

What if I need surgery? So many fears, will the state take my kid because I can’t take care of her?

Her father has never met her so not an option

I’m so scared. So scared.

 

[srseekinghim]

@jazzmaniac42 The state doesn’t want to take kids from their parents. They are not gonna take your kid. If you are low-income they state will help you with resources until your healed. If your not low income, I would def try to find a nanny to help out during this time. Good luck!!

 

[jazzmaniac42]

@srseekinghim I live in Texas. You think even Texas would have this help?? Texas hates single moms, kids etc

 

[srseekinghim]

@jazzmaniac42 I do, you just need to Research. I’m sure there’s an organization there that does outreach

 

[shewrote]

@jazzmaniac42 I can actually weigh in on this, I had a really severe knee dislocation when my daughter was 3 months old and ended up having surgery and was on crutches with an ankle to hip brace when she was 6 months old

First, take some time to process this. I know it’s a lot but it’s going to be okay!

Let’s look at the positives. Your child is old enough to be a little self-sufficient and can take some direction so you have that working in your favor.

Don’t worry about CPS, that isn’t a factor here. Does your building have an elevator? Utilize it if so. Someone else mentioned a scooter, that would be ideal if your doctor says you can use one. Otherwise using one crutch (which isn’t ideal and is probably a no-no as far as your doctor is concerned) at times will keep your other hand free.

If you have any PTO or sick days, maybe use some of that. Otherwise look into your short term disability options or AFLAC to cover your missing paychecks.

For groceries, maybe you can ask a neighbor or co-worker if they wouldn’t mind picking them up for you? Most chains will let you do curbside and just order through an app or online. Otherwise there are delivery services, they’re just a little expensive.

Your kid will just have to watch a lot of TV, movies, color, eat snacks, and maybe some not so great food for the next few weeks but they’ll survive! You just have to do what you have to do sometimes.

Worse case scenario, if you need surgery, it’s usually outpatient so you’d be able to go home the same day and maybe you could arrange someone via Care.com or something to look after your child while you’re coming off the drugs.

I’d also check on FB for a local moms group! They tend to be pretty supportive so you might be able to find some fellow moms who could help bring some meals, or pick up groceries, etc.

You got this

 

[alxspntral]

@jazzmaniac42

What if I need surgery? So many fears, will the state take my kid because I can’t take care of her?

Absolutely not. Of all the things you're scared of, you can let this one go. CPS/DHHS/Child welfare/whoever it is in your state understands things like this happen.

Very Very worst case if you were to end up hospitalized they'd place the kid in emergency foster care until you were able to take them back, they'd reassure your child every day that they'll see you soon and they'll go home soon, and it wouldn't even spawn a follow-up investigation for any reason. If you truly knew what it takes to even begin the process of removing a child from a home, you'd be staggered, the minimum standards of care are terrifyingly low.

 

[lily_lost]

@jazzmaniac42 I broke my left ankle when I was 36 weeks pregnant, had surgery at 6 weeks postpartum, and also live on a second story apartment. I actually broke my ankle on the freaking stairs here and there isn’t an elevator.

Stairs are really scary at first, but the method getting up and down them that worked for me was sitting on my butt and using my good leg and arms to pull myself up and down the stairs while putting other leg in the air. There are other methods with crutches if you youtube, but this was the least scary one for me.

You can get disability while being non weight bearing and even the weeks with walking boot and depending on your job and how much you’re on your feet maybe even longer.

CPS will not take your child away, this is an injury and you can’t help that you’re injured.

Idk your financial situation or if you can afford hired help, but local mom groups on Facebook and next door app will rally for you if you tell your story and ask for help! They will always help moms in need and they helped me during my situation.

The childcare part will probably be the hardest, I’d say get lots of frozen meals and they’ll have to watch lots of TV and coloring for time being. Get a knee scooter, so much easier to get around in that than crutches.

This will be hard, the hardest part is the non weight bearing phase because you feel so helpless. But you got this. I did this as a single mom of an infant, please message me if you need to talk or need help with anything.

 

[nanajo66]

@jazzmaniac42 Make some friends. Build your own village. Partner with other single parents to help each other out. Network! I know it seems like a lot but it really takes a village.

 

[dawei7]

@jazzmaniac42 I would get some vitamin D to help heal the fracture.
Take a breath you might not need surgery.
Start looking at care.com just in case.

 

[stefby]

@jazzmaniac42 Crutches are so much more difficult to use. If you can find a scooter than you can put your knee on and scoot around, very helpful. And can hop up and down the stairs holding it. Check your local town for resources that can help you with other help like childcare. Hopefully, your fracture will heal like it should. Take it easy, be good to yourself...one day at a time. Good luck and healing to you!

 

[katrina2017]

@jazzmaniac42 I hear you. Can you do your job with this injury / remotely from home?

Focus your next grocery shop on healthy food your kid can grab for themselves to ease your burden of labour and give them some simple independence.

Is there a local aid group who might be able to offer pragmatic help, like a church, or an online parent/neighbourhood group? Might be worth looking into.