I really don’t know how people cope with even one baby

[perez1001]

@jesusmypeace I am 4 months postpartum and loving motherhood, but I keep telling my husband that I could not imagine taking care of my infant and another child. Breastfeeding has been extremely difficult for me, and pregnancy was tough both mentally and physically. I feel like I survived because I didn't have any other kids. That being said, people also told me not to make any big life changing decisions for at least a year after the baby is born. I am open to feeling differently but also preparing myself that I might not.

 

[layk]

@perez1001 You don’t have to breastfeed if it’s affecting you negatively!! You won’t harm your baby by moving onto formula and ending your breastfeeding early. I weaned at 12 weeks for work reasons, and my experience as a parent was much more enjoyable after that.

 

[perez1001]

@layk Thanks. It does help to keep hearing that and ask wish I heard that more ealrier on. At this point I want to wean but she won't even take bottles anymore!

 

[jesusfreak1410]

@jesusmypeace I had a terrible pregnancy (7 month long migraine and then 2 month premature birth), and our baby was HARD (5 weeks NICU, 8 weeks of colic, among other miseries). For us the cumulative sleep deprivation was hardest around 8/9 months old. Things started getting better for us as sleep improved and kid was able to communicate with words rather than fuss. Year 2 was better than year 1, especially because we could give each other more time to take care of ourselves better (exercise/friends/hobbies). We felt a major change around 3 yo. Kid is almost 7 now and we are finally able to laugh at the many terrible times. Kid is so great. We can’t imagine living happily without them. And definitely good with our “1 and only perfect baby”.

 

[confusedbuthopeful]

@jesusmypeace My baby is 6 months and has been a relatively easy, happy baby and I am fully maxed out. I truly have no idea how people do it.

 

[jacqueline92]

@jesusmypeace I was never “pro-choice” until I had a baby. Thank you Reddit for being my the only place I can type that out loud. This post made my whole morning and I relate to it in every way! It’s almost a sign of healing that our brains are unscrambled enough that we can have that complete sentence thought, right?

8 months was particularly hard on me! Lots of development meant the game was changing for childproofing and keeping the environment safe. You are so not alone! You sound like you are doing your best and I just want to hug you!

 

[agoodfriend]

@jesusmypeace Some people have great pregnancies (I admit that I had a very good pregnancy). I'm currently watching a family friend go through a miserable pregnancy and it makes my heart hurt to watch it.

Some people have unicorn babies that actually sleep and chill out (not mine lol).

A lot of people won't admit to this one: Some people have a lot of financial help from family for childcare. Some grandparents ARE the childcare. (not mine).

 

[christianityisawesome]

@jesusmypeace We’re just getting by

 

[feetofclay]

@jesusmypeace I love my daughter more than anything but I am so exhausted it isn’t even funny

 

[mizupsi]

@jesusmypeace We had our child and I would get sick every month and then my daughter had severe reflux where she had to spend a month in the hospital and surgery at 8 months.. any thought of another child was wiped away with the expenses and me constantly being sick.

everything was better when she turned 4 but once you get over the hurdles you definitely don’t want to go back.

 

[charlesburton]

@jesusmypeace My child is 7 and still wondering the same one is plenty already.

 

[sodimanalu]

@jesusmypeace My little guy is turning 4 soon, so those baby days were relatively recent, but yet far away at the same time. My pregnancy and birth story were similar to yours. I wasn’t nauseous outside of the first trimester, but I was very sick due to my preexisting heart condition. I wound up on bed rest my entire pregnancy. I had a scheduled c-section, but it turned into an emergency afterwards.

He was a relatively easy baby, but he had some major tummy issues that made it difficult for him to get comfy enough to sleep. I was too sick after the delivery to care for him, so it was my husband who had to do the night shift AND the day shift- in addition to all of the house chores and taking care of me. My husband has said multiple times that the only way that he survived was because he was laid off (Covid recession). Any subsequent pregnancies would result in the same health issues for me, so we‘re not going to put my health or our family through something like that just for a second baby.

I don’t want to say that it gets easier, but rather that the hard parts change with each age and stage. For example, with my little guy, he rarely wakes up in the middle of the night anymore, but now he’s very independent and doesn’t want to cooperate with instructions at times. With that being said, though, he has such a big personality, loves to communicate, and can do most things himself. He’s a joy to be around and I love him so much.

In case no one’s told you today, you’re doing a good job and you’re a good mom.

Sending you lots of hugs and solidarity, OP

 

[broberts]

@jesusmypeace We are one and done and I promise it gets better! My daughter is 2.5 now and she can communicate what she wants better and does independent play so we get more breathing room!

 

[apples1500]

@jesusmypeace I say this EVERYDAY with my toddler! My husband and I are SPENT!!! Physically mentally financially. Glad my biology is so messed up that I don’t have blinders on to the difficulties of parenting. I truly think people have a biological urge so strong to have children that it makes them illogical to some of these things. Older women say “they don’t remember” what it was like to have a baby or toddler. I’m sorry I will NEVER forget this trauma!

 

[spiritjoe]

@jesusmypeace Lots of people neglect their kids is how I see it. People who realize how big of a responsibility one child is usually don’t want more than 1-2 kids. People who have 5+ kids use cry it out, they don’t interact with their babies as much and usually have a much easier time with pregnancy and delivery.

 

[jesusmypeace]

@spiritjoe This makes a lot of sense.

 

[beggie]

@jesusmypeace Things are definitely getting better! Stay positive mama

 

[richdarambler]

@jesusmypeace It got easier once my son fell asleep independently and slept through the night(between 5 and 6 months) and then when my son started walking and could play independently(around 13 months). The sleep stuff def took a weight off my shoulders and he's still an independent sleeper which def makes a difference. And then he got fun once he started to walk and actually learn stuff like words and colors and numbers. He's almost 2.5 years old and even though I swore I'd only have 1 child I now want another one. Lol

 

[ace111]

@jesusmypeace 8-10 months is unreasonably hard. It's like a second newborn phase, at least it was for us. My son slept like shit at that time and nursed constantly. He wanted to be held all the time and wanted me to leave him alone so he could crawl around, somehow simultaneously. It gets better after the first year. I was always terrified of having a toddler but tbh I find it more fun than the baby phase. I have no idea why people want to be in the baby phase forever

 

[jesusmypeace]

@ace111 I haven't had an easy phase in between really. Just occasional weeks where I think "wow she's not whinging as much!"