Bed sharing but I keep being told that babies sleep better in there own rooms by people who in my bumper group

[huntinheros]

@abandonentropy My husband is actually sleeping in another room currently to give the baby and I some more space on the bed. The only way to get her back to bed right now is the boob so I don’t know how helpful that would actually be lol. I dreamed of having three kids and now I think I might be one and done

 

[abandonentropy]

@huntinheros I'm having our second in a few months and right now I don't know what we were thinking having an almost 2yo is so much more fun and easy than a baby! But we live in a tiny place and are "older" parents (or will be soon enough) so we thought we kinda owed her to at least get one sibling.

 

[leeza]

@huntinheros Every kid is different. Mine has slept though the night since she was a month or less . In her crib.

7 months old now and still sleeping all night

Create a bed time routine . Start early since it’s gonna take some getting used to .

Create a calm relaxing environment once you want them to go to bed . Turn light down or off . Turn the wave sounds on . Turn off tv and all other distractions . And you as a parent mentally prepare your self for what’s at hand .

Attitude is everything and your kids are sponges so if bed time is a “nightmare “ ..... guess who embodies that nightmare .

It takes time and patience and also letting go .
The less expectations you have on how it will go the easier it Is.

Also remember their CHILDREN. Be patient they are trying to figure out this human shit too .

And also mom YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB NO BABY IS LIKE YOUR BABY SO TRUELY NO ONE CAN GIVE YOU ADVICE BECAUSE NO ONE HAS YOUR BABY .

You are doing a great job and your baby is so lucky to have you as their mom . As long as they are being loved ,cared for and nurtured as best as you can you are already doing amazing .

 

[scottmelve]

@huntinheros I moved my daughter from our room to her own because she would wake up from us rolling over in our sleep. I sleep with my baby cam on all the time and loud so she doesn’t have to cry loud to attract me. She now only wakes once a night and everyone gets more sleep. It was hard at first but we shifted her in stages. First she was in her cot next to me when I fed her to sleep. Then we moved the cot to the other side of our bedroom. Then finally after a few week we moved her into her own room. Change is scary but sleep and a little space is good too.

 

[lightworker0000]

@huntinheros Waking this much at this age is normal. Babies go through fazes like this for years. It will just cause you to lose more sleep if you put your baby in another room because you will have to get up just as much but walk further to help

 

[petriebird]

@huntinheros You can always get a baby monitor to keep a better ear on her. If bed sharing isn't working, don't force it.

 

[huntinheros]

@petriebird Sorry what I was trying to get across in this post is bed sharing is working on my half but I’m worried it’s not working out for her and that’s what’s causing her to wake up, like maybe I’m bothering her.

 

[netwaxer]

@huntinheros It's developmentally ok and normal for babies to wake up often, especially if you breastfeed (milk is easy to digest and they are soon ready for more, plus they have few grow spurts around that time, making them even more hungry). A sleep cycle is like what, 45 minutes? They can do very well on series of short naps (which drives the parents crazy but that is another story). That's what they have been doing since in womb. You're doing ok, if things work for you, don't change!

 

[mythicangel516]

@huntinheros for what it's worth, length is not the only indicator of infant sleep quality

 

[huntinheros]

@mythicangel516 It is for mine LOL
But the fact that she takes a two hour nap about an hour and a half after waking up makes me think that maybe she’s not getting the amount of sleep she’d like.

 

[mythicangel516]

@huntinheros a 4 month old baby's wake window is still only about 45 minutes to an hour and a half

 

[mnan]

@huntinheros Trying your LO in their own room doesn't mean not responding to cries! It helped for us around 5-6 months we transitioned to the crib. 4-5 months was pretty horrible with sleep but it's only getting better. Every night is different though. Personally I sleep better with her down the hall but I wake up immediately and go to her if she cries. Some nights this is often but more and more we are getting longer stretches even 6-7 hours. Just try it! If it doesn't work you can stop

 

[armour1984]

@huntinheros Honestly? We persevered with bubs in our room till he was 8 months old. We had wanted him there till he was at least 12 months old. I started napping him in his own room and suddenly he was sleeping long naps. He was waking up 3 to 4 times a night, so we tried overnight... From the very first night he slept right through the night. Just listen to your bubs, they'll show what they need and things don't always go to the ideal plan.

 

[cristina49]

@huntinheros What a lot of people have said, every baby is different. My baby sleeps better in her crib, but her crib is still in our room at a year old (and will be for a while).

She goes back to sleep very easily if I just sing to her and doesn't need to be held. When we bed share, she wakes up every 2 hours vs. only once at night when she's in her own bed.

I like the "in a crib in our room" because it's a good middle ground for us between bed sharing and her having her own room. I'm able to hear her before she gets to the point of escalation where I can't sooth her (which is what happened when we tried her own room once).

I will say, if she is 4 months old she is probably going through the 4 month sleep regression.

 

[frankems21]

@huntinheros I can relate to this so hard. My 5.5 month old is waking every 1 to 2 hours and bedsharing is the only way I can get through the night. All my bumper buddies have sleep trained and I feel so isolated from them, which sucks because they've been such a source of support over the past year. Tonight was our unofficial cry it out deadline and there's no way I can do it. Sorry I don't have an answer for you!

 

[katrina2017]

@huntinheros I read No Cry Sleep Solutions when I was at wit’s end (around 6 months) and after that I started committing myself fully to prioritizing sleep above all else in my life. I arranged every single day around a firm schedule to give my baby a rhythm he could count on. At that point he was still doing three naps a day but when I watched closely I realized he needed to go down to two. The schedule changed our lives and got us more consistent sleep. Then I instituted a very strict zero-tolerance policy for any kind of screen playing within his eye shot. Zero. (I used to have my shows playing, it wasn’t stuff for my son) By day two, he was sleeping through the night.

I did also notice a some point that he was sleeping better without me so I started working on leaving him once he was asleep. He has always had a mattress on the floor so we can cosleep, so when he would wake in the night I would go to him and stay for the rest of the night. Eventually he stopped waking in the night so now we don’t cosleep anymore.

He sleeps 12-13 hours a night plus his long midday nap. And trust me, it’s not because “some babies are good sleepers.” I was steeped in PPD/PPA intensely exacerbated by severe sleep deprivation. It only changed when I decided that a firm daily schedule wasn’t lame enough to lose sleep over, and once I treated sleep as the most important part of life, everything changed. Now we regularly deviate from the schedule because he’s been sleeping well for so long.

Kids thrive on consistency. And screens in the background of life are too much for our littlest ones.

 

[dtpostel]

@huntinheros Mine def does not sleep better alone. Neither did my oldest. I don’t sleep well when the baby isn’t with me either bc I’m up every hour expecting him to wake. He’s 15 mo and starting to sleep longer stretches only waking maybe once or twice a night now but it’s a lot easier to soothe him laying next to him than him in another room or his crib. I’d follow your gut

 

[followthestar]

@huntinheros Why don’t you try it and see how you go. Sometimes they do just make resettling noises and they will go back to sleep on their own but because we hear them we start trying to help.

You can always co sleep for part of the night or for day naps too. It doesn’t have to be all night every night. I used to put my kids down for night sleep to begin with in their own beds. Once they wake around 1am I then brought them into mine.

 

[myles0]

@followthestar I'm curious to try this strategy (putting my baby to sleep on her own but bringing her to bed with me after she wakes up). Can I ask what age you started doing this and what time you first put your baby down for bed?

 

[andybrooks]

@huntinheros But maybe I don’t want my baby to sleep as deeply as they might when left to sleep on their own One of the reasons room-sharing is protective against SIDS is BECAUSE they sleep less deeply. People get all hung up on the safe sleep guidelines but then are totally ok with baby sleeping far away while silently judging those who cosleep using the safe sleep seven. I don’t get it Let’s just leave each other to parent in peace

I think the conversation runs in similar lines in a lot of bumper groups. Ours has a “does anyone else do it differently” thread every now and then when one of us feel like “everyone” is doing CIO etc. It is always surprising to see how many people comment, and the consensus seems to be that these are the people who have less to share (compared to updates on x number of hours slept and management of wake windows, etc.).

My baby (almost 11 months) has co-slept from birth and for the most part wakes me twice/night these days. But around 6 months there was a time when he would only sleep while latched and wake every 30 mins to an hour when he lost the boob. It was rough. I kept waiting for it to change on its own and it didn’t. When he was around 7.5 - 8 months I read the no cry sleep solution and took the one thing that was applicable to us (unlatching sleeping/ falling asleep baby over and over until they stay asleep) and ever since then we have a sustainable number of wake ups.

For some families, moving baby out is what works for them, but it is not the only solution