@yasminestaples Ah!!! the Twiddling! My boy started at 11 months and now is 16 months! He is obsessed with it and gets very mad when I take his hand off or cover my boob. I just stopped trying ! Tbh I dont have the energy to keep trying, but I did find a device that Its called the nipple twiddle and you attach it to your shirt! Im waiting to receive it and once i do, i'll report back!
How night weaning is going while bed sharing - a form of sleep training
- Thread starter vinhhali
- Start date
yasminestaples
New member
@yasminestaples Yes! Its so painful! Mine likes to pinch it with his thumb and index finger nails 
they feel like razor blades cutting on my nipples! During the day I put up with it easier but at night I am so touched out from all day, and thats when I struggle the most! Hopefully he will grow out of it! #praying
they feel like razor blades cutting on my nipples! During the day I put up with it easier but at night I am so touched out from all day, and thats when I struggle the most! Hopefully he will grow out of it! #prayingchristphen
New member
@yasminestaples My guy doesn't eat much solids unless he's hungry! Even though I feed on demand, it usually looks like this: nurse to sleep for a nap, wake up, play, then remember 'oh damn he's probably hungry!' and feed him solids and now he actually gobbles it up, then I'll end up nursing and cuddling shortly after. 
chasingvisions
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hocdmonster
New member
@vinhhali I have an almost 13 month old that I just night weaned! Her boob to sleep association wasn’t too strong. We could do feed to sleep or “dance” to sleep and she was pretty cool with either. But anyway I night weaned by laying with her and letting her cry and holding her for a few days. Now most nights she sleeps anywhere from 5-8 hours uninterrupted. I don’t feed her at night at all
Now and she doesn’t seem to care.
I agree with what you’ve said. I woke up hourly for months. I’ve been back at work since she was 5 months old and it’s been really really hard. Now I just need to start trusting that she’s actually going to sleep and stop waking up myself.
Now and she doesn’t seem to care.
I agree with what you’ve said. I woke up hourly for months. I’ve been back at work since she was 5 months old and it’s been really really hard. Now I just need to start trusting that she’s actually going to sleep and stop waking up myself.
@hocdmonster That’s so amazing and gives me hope. Thank you for sharing!! I also went back to work (fortunately from home) when she was 6 months and it’s been so hard to have such little energy and toggle between work brain and mom brain while completely sleep deprived. 5-8 hours sounds like a week at the spa to me right now!
When she does wake up now, does it take a long time to settle her back down, or is patting and holding her work effectively?
When she does wake up now, does it take a long time to settle her back down, or is patting and holding her work effectively?
hocdmonster
New member
@vinhhali yes I think so! I take her out of bed and usually lay down with her on the couch and fall asleep too…when I wake up I put her back in her bed no problem.
I was really afraid to night wean. My husband said he would do it but I knew she would feel better with me there so i ended up laying with her (floor bed) and it went better than expected. I think it was the second or third night that she slept 7 hours! Of course I was waking up every hour because I was waiting for her to wake up. I do think at a certain point the need for the boob all night can be more of a hindrance than a help for sleeping. I had told myself that i would night wean at 1 year and I don’t regret it! I feed her to sleep and feed her around 6-7 am before work. I think it’s a really good option for those of us that don’t want to sleep train in the traditional sense but also don’t want the constant waking for who knows how long. Good luck!
I was really afraid to night wean. My husband said he would do it but I knew she would feel better with me there so i ended up laying with her (floor bed) and it went better than expected. I think it was the second or third night that she slept 7 hours! Of course I was waking up every hour because I was waiting for her to wake up. I do think at a certain point the need for the boob all night can be more of a hindrance than a help for sleeping. I had told myself that i would night wean at 1 year and I don’t regret it! I feed her to sleep and feed her around 6-7 am before work. I think it’s a really good option for those of us that don’t want to sleep train in the traditional sense but also don’t want the constant waking for who knows how long. Good luck!
@vinhhali Thank you so much for posting this! Sometimes this sub takes the Marty Mom stereotype too far. We have to balance our needs with our babies needs, and also learn to differentiate between needs and wants. For example, a 13 month baby wants to latch all night, they do not need to latch all night.
Setting boundaries is so important and while very young babies do need us to be fully responsive, older babies and certainly toddlers are ready for reasonable boundaries.
My 10.5 month old has been fussing when I don’t let him latch at night but he isn’t nursing, just latching. And rejecting his soother, which he normally takes. He’s not really awake when this happens so he tends to go from whining to full blow screaming in about 4 seconds if I don’t get my boob in his mouth. But I am able to unlatch and pop the soother in after a few minutes, and that seems to work ok. But I will check out this method in the future when he’s ready to night wean. My first two babies were sleep trained with little drama and by this point I was only feeding once a night and they were sleeping 13 hours in their crib alone. It was amazing. I have enjoyed the cuddles at night with this baby but I also won’t continue this if it doesn’t work for all of us. And that to me is the most important part - whatever we are doing needs to work for everyone involved. Which is what you are doing. Thanks again for sharing!
Setting boundaries is so important and while very young babies do need us to be fully responsive, older babies and certainly toddlers are ready for reasonable boundaries.
My 10.5 month old has been fussing when I don’t let him latch at night but he isn’t nursing, just latching. And rejecting his soother, which he normally takes. He’s not really awake when this happens so he tends to go from whining to full blow screaming in about 4 seconds if I don’t get my boob in his mouth. But I am able to unlatch and pop the soother in after a few minutes, and that seems to work ok. But I will check out this method in the future when he’s ready to night wean. My first two babies were sleep trained with little drama and by this point I was only feeding once a night and they were sleeping 13 hours in their crib alone. It was amazing. I have enjoyed the cuddles at night with this baby but I also won’t continue this if it doesn’t work for all of us. And that to me is the most important part - whatever we are doing needs to work for everyone involved. Which is what you are doing. Thanks again for sharing!
@isoloen Hi! Nightwing has been hard as my baby is very persistent. It’s been two months since we started the process and she still wakes often between midnight to 6 AM. She has learned new ways of self soothing back to sleep, which is great, but occasionally she still asks to nurse, and it’s a struggle and emotionally hard for both of us when she does. However, I don’t regret it as I needed her to learn these new ways of falling back asleep without nursing, and she is doing longer stretches. The wake ups are harder because she fully wakes up and so does my husband as opposed to just nursing her back to sleep quietly. But the nursing back to sleep wasn’t sustainable because she was looking for the boob every hour. Her main ways of falling back asleep are kneading my belly or scratching at my belly and rolling around. So honestly, the wake ups have been harder for me than the nursing wake ups but I needed to do this to see a light at the end of the tunnel to help nudge her towards more independent sleep, because I’m convinced she would’ve kept nursing all night until she was two or longer And my mental and physical health are destroyed. I do think the process would have been faster if I had tweaked some things which I’ll share below.
Her body is still getting used to going that long without milk so around 4 to 6 AM is the hardest time with wake ups. But I work with a therapist and a sleep consultant, who is also a lactation consultant, and they both assured me she will be OK and I just need to hold the boundary as it’s more confusing for her. The consultant also told me that a bedtime snack is really important so we do do that just before brushing her teeth then we try to have it be some thing that is a complex carb with fat and protein, like cheese, and bread or hummus, and bread to help fill her up more for the night.
Regarding holding the boundary, I wish that I had done the initial process faster with less giving in because that would’ve made it easier for her. If you given even once, after a long time of crying, they will assume that they just have to cry harder next time to get what they want Which isn’t fair to them. One thing that really helps is unlatching her during the bedtime nursing once she’s drowsy. The sleep consultant said I can do it as many times as necessary until she falls back asleep and I can do it gently so first doing it when she’s basically almost asleep, and then slowly overtime, starting to do it when she’s a little more awake but drowsy. This helps them learn the initial step of falling asleep without the boob in their mouth. Another thing that significantly helped and spread up the process was when it’s morning and time to nurse again, taking her out of bed and nursing in the recliner, sitting up and then starting the day, I had to do this at 5 AM a few times which was an exhausting day, but now we’re usually able to make it till six and this has helped her separate waking up in bed over night from waking up to nurse for the day.
Sorry for any errors, I am doing talk to text as it’s hard to get my hands-free
ETA: if I could add the biggest thing that the sleep consult helped me realize is that a baby like mine needs very gradual change over time. And changing one thing at a time the sleep association did need to change, but it shouldn’t be sudden because my baby reacts quite dramatically to suddenly not getting what she wants and has a high need for comfort and routine. So instead of suddenly cutting her off the unlatching thing would be a good first step and then taking the morning feed out of the bed to help distinguish. I probably in retrospect would’ve started with those two steps before doing the Jay Gordon method in my case my baby had no sense of time to distinguish that it’s OK to nurse from nine to midnight, but not from midnight to four for example which his method relies on. But his method is also meant to be implemented very quickly over a week or so so you quickly move past those blurry boundaries to no nursing at all overnight and that is really the only way to do it because they simply don’t know what time it is, and get confused.
The other reason the armchair nursing in the morning really helps is because my consultant said that a baby can distinguish the bedtime feed as falling asleep nursing as a special time but if they wake up to nursing bed in the early morning, then throughout the night, they’ll keep waking up trying to get to that time of day and assuming that it’s OK now especially if it’s still dark during their normal wake up time.
Her body is still getting used to going that long without milk so around 4 to 6 AM is the hardest time with wake ups. But I work with a therapist and a sleep consultant, who is also a lactation consultant, and they both assured me she will be OK and I just need to hold the boundary as it’s more confusing for her. The consultant also told me that a bedtime snack is really important so we do do that just before brushing her teeth then we try to have it be some thing that is a complex carb with fat and protein, like cheese, and bread or hummus, and bread to help fill her up more for the night.
Regarding holding the boundary, I wish that I had done the initial process faster with less giving in because that would’ve made it easier for her. If you given even once, after a long time of crying, they will assume that they just have to cry harder next time to get what they want Which isn’t fair to them. One thing that really helps is unlatching her during the bedtime nursing once she’s drowsy. The sleep consultant said I can do it as many times as necessary until she falls back asleep and I can do it gently so first doing it when she’s basically almost asleep, and then slowly overtime, starting to do it when she’s a little more awake but drowsy. This helps them learn the initial step of falling asleep without the boob in their mouth. Another thing that significantly helped and spread up the process was when it’s morning and time to nurse again, taking her out of bed and nursing in the recliner, sitting up and then starting the day, I had to do this at 5 AM a few times which was an exhausting day, but now we’re usually able to make it till six and this has helped her separate waking up in bed over night from waking up to nurse for the day.
Sorry for any errors, I am doing talk to text as it’s hard to get my hands-free
ETA: if I could add the biggest thing that the sleep consult helped me realize is that a baby like mine needs very gradual change over time. And changing one thing at a time the sleep association did need to change, but it shouldn’t be sudden because my baby reacts quite dramatically to suddenly not getting what she wants and has a high need for comfort and routine. So instead of suddenly cutting her off the unlatching thing would be a good first step and then taking the morning feed out of the bed to help distinguish. I probably in retrospect would’ve started with those two steps before doing the Jay Gordon method in my case my baby had no sense of time to distinguish that it’s OK to nurse from nine to midnight, but not from midnight to four for example which his method relies on. But his method is also meant to be implemented very quickly over a week or so so you quickly move past those blurry boundaries to no nursing at all overnight and that is really the only way to do it because they simply don’t know what time it is, and get confused.
The other reason the armchair nursing in the morning really helps is because my consultant said that a baby can distinguish the bedtime feed as falling asleep nursing as a special time but if they wake up to nursing bed in the early morning, then throughout the night, they’ll keep waking up trying to get to that time of day and assuming that it’s OK now especially if it’s still dark during their normal wake up time.