@blessings43 Omgosh I'm loving how many of us are here! I'm considering making a post on FB to get all the cosleeping/AP moms together, so we at least know we have friends there! 
Bed sharing but I keep being told that babies sleep better in there own rooms by people who in my bumper group
- Thread starter huntinheros
- Start date
@huntinheros I didnt want to bedshare. My baby on the other hand really did, at almost 3 he still does. No 2 people are the same and sometimes I feel like people forget that babies are people too.
frankems21
New member
fleurdelis02
New member
@frankems21 I love this 
katrina2017
New member
@huntinheros I personally won't sleep better with my baby in another room, so for me, it makes sense to keep them nearby.
And of course every baby is different, but 4.5 months can be a time of rapid growth and lots of waking. It usually improves. I really feel like we were in a good groove with every baby sometime around the 6 month mark.
Bumper groups can get weird, too. I usually abandon them at this point in the baby's development for my own sanity.
And of course every baby is different, but 4.5 months can be a time of rapid growth and lots of waking. It usually improves. I really feel like we were in a good groove with every baby sometime around the 6 month mark.
Bumper groups can get weird, too. I usually abandon them at this point in the baby's development for my own sanity.
@huntinheros There are so many sleep regressions and other factors that will come into play, so just because at 4 months they may sleep well in their room, doesnāt mean that itāll be the same situation at 6, 8 or 10 months. You may possibly be going through a regression now, or maybe LO is going through a growth spurt. Sooo many possibilities that could just be temporary
Iām currently still bed sharing with my 12.5 month old. She sleeps the first leg of sleep (~3 hours) in her room on her floor bed then the rest with us. Itās so easy to tend to her when sheās right there next to me. She very rarely has ever truly āwoken upā because I can soothe her as soon as I hear her. Unlike when weāve tried to soothe her in her room, that short distance to get to her wakes her up enough and thatās when things go downhill.
Keep on doing what feels best for you!
Iām currently still bed sharing with my 12.5 month old. She sleeps the first leg of sleep (~3 hours) in her room on her floor bed then the rest with us. Itās so easy to tend to her when sheās right there next to me. She very rarely has ever truly āwoken upā because I can soothe her as soon as I hear her. Unlike when weāve tried to soothe her in her room, that short distance to get to her wakes her up enough and thatās when things go downhill.
Keep on doing what feels best for you!
wantstoknowjesus
New member
@huntinheros Would you consider an arms reach co sleeper (if weight appropriate) or sidecar the crib to your bed? This way your LO could have her own space to sleep in but youāre right there to provide comfort.
cosmicosmo
New member
@huntinheros I feel you. I've felt that pressure too. My 11mo has always woken every 2-3 hours and maybe in the last month that's become 3-5 hours. Sounds perfectly normal and it will get better for you!
SIDS guidelines state that baby should be in the same room as you for ALL sleep (Inc day naps) until at least 6 months. For this reason alone I would avoid putting your baby in their own room.
Aside from that, do what you are doing. Try and turn down the volume on other people's experiences. You don't know if they let their babies cry it out, you don't know that they actually get more sleep that way. I've heard people say their babies are in their own rooms this young, but then complain endlessly about having to get up out of bed multiple times per night to settle them. It's so much easier to just have baby right next to you!
Your baby will sleep better knowing you're right there. You'll probably sleep better too! You are teaching your baby right now that you are there for them and you will always respond. Being in a different room your baby will have to work harder for your attention.
Mama instincts remain strong when you keep your little one close by, if you spend too much time away from them it dulls these instincts. Your baby will sleep 'better' in time. We are the only species who insist on separating ourselves from infants. It's so so normal to be close all of the time.
Keep feeding, keep cuddling, sounds like you're doing a wonderful job
SIDS guidelines state that baby should be in the same room as you for ALL sleep (Inc day naps) until at least 6 months. For this reason alone I would avoid putting your baby in their own room.
Aside from that, do what you are doing. Try and turn down the volume on other people's experiences. You don't know if they let their babies cry it out, you don't know that they actually get more sleep that way. I've heard people say their babies are in their own rooms this young, but then complain endlessly about having to get up out of bed multiple times per night to settle them. It's so much easier to just have baby right next to you!
Your baby will sleep better knowing you're right there. You'll probably sleep better too! You are teaching your baby right now that you are there for them and you will always respond. Being in a different room your baby will have to work harder for your attention.
Mama instincts remain strong when you keep your little one close by, if you spend too much time away from them it dulls these instincts. Your baby will sleep 'better' in time. We are the only species who insist on separating ourselves from infants. It's so so normal to be close all of the time.
Keep feeding, keep cuddling, sounds like you're doing a wonderful job
markus2121
New member
@huntinheros I do have a kid that sleeps better in his own room. Iāve tried bed sharing. He WILL NOT SLEEP. He also wonāt sleep in the car or anywhere else he can see me. I guess I should be flattered that my existence is so exciting he canāt sleep but also it would be lovely if he could occasionally fall asleep in my presence. We never did CIO. My husband rocked him to sleep and laid him down for a long time. Now kid is almost 3 years old and climbs into his toddler bed. Dad sits in the room as he falls asleep. If he cries, we go back in. He moved to his own room during the 4 month sleep regression and we went from getting 0 sleep to still waking up multiple times for feeds but getting some sleep in a way that felt sustainable. It wasnāt a super thought out decision. One day my husband was rocking him and thought the crib looked comfortable (we had a weird system of feeding/rocking in his room and laying him in the bassinet in our room once asleep) and tried putting him in there. We figured weād move him back to our room after the first wake up in 20 minutes. He actually slept. So we stuck with it. Iāve gotten some flack for not room sharing in this group longer because it was somehow āsleep trainingā. I donāt think we sleep trained. I had a monitor next to my bed and ran every time he started making noise. Not necessarily crying. I went at every sound. Itās less than 10 steps from my bed to his so I got there pretty quickly. I think if youāre desperate itās worth trying. Worst case it doesnāt work and you bring baby back to bed 
@huntinheros Every baby is different! With my second we planned to room share until a year, but at about 4.5 months he started waking up at the drop of a hat. I thought it could be sleep regression, but it seemed like we were waking him up. We couldnāt get up to use the bathroom, or even simply whisper to each other without him waking. So I moved him into his own room and he went back to sleeping for 4-6 hour stretches. We have a video monitor and on nights that he wakes frequently Iāll just bring him into bed with us. But at least now I know if he wakes up itās because he needs something, not because we are disturbing him. You could always try it out for a few nights and just see if it makes a difference! Perhaps she is a light sleeper like ours.
@huntinheros Honestly, you should try it. I was in the same exact boat as you with my daughter. I move a lot in my sleep and I like my space. I started moving her to her crib. After a while of figuring out how to get her in her crib without waking her, it started working. She sleeps longer through the nights, but she still wakes up every 4-5 hours.
But to me, it's worth the consecutive hours of sleep in my own space. If she wakes up and I'm too tired to try getting her back in her crib then I bring her back to bed with me.
I definitely think you should try it. For my baby, it took practice getting her to stay asleep transitioning from my arms to the crib but I tried a few different tactics and arm placement and it paid off. You'll get the hang of it!
But to me, it's worth the consecutive hours of sleep in my own space. If she wakes up and I'm too tired to try getting her back in her crib then I bring her back to bed with me.
I definitely think you should try it. For my baby, it took practice getting her to stay asleep transitioning from my arms to the crib but I tried a few different tactics and arm placement and it paid off. You'll get the hang of it!
@huntinheros When she wakes does she need something every time or are you automatically waking and responding? We room shared but mainly did not bed share. I definitely slept better having my daughter in the cosleeper next to the bed. I was waking every time she stirred but she didn't always need me. I found this allowed her the space to chill and go back to sleep if she didn't need me and she always let me know when she did need me!
wisconsinpat
New member
@huntinheros There's tons of opinions and experiences already posted here, because every baby and situation is unique. My experience: we recently moved my 4 month old into his own bedroom, because every time I or my husband moved or made a sound it would wake him up. He was waking every hour or two hours sleeping in a bassinet next to my bed, no matter what I tried. Since moving to his own bedroom, he only wakes up one or two times in the night and it's usually pretty easy to get him back to sleep.
Because I don't nurse him back to sleep in my bed anymore I don't have to worry so much about falling sleep in an unsafe position, which has lessened my anxiety and lets me sleep better too. I wake up less times in the night and feel much more comfortable sleeping in my bed.
I have my baby moniter turned up to max volume, so I hear even his little sleeping noises. Once he starts fussing a bit I know he's awake and I go pick him up. I always hear him and can get to his room before he even starts crying. Granted, we do live in a small apartment so our rooms are close to each other.
All in all its been a success for us. But again, every baby and every situation is different. It's all about finding the thing that works best for you, so that you and the baby can get the most sleep!
Because I don't nurse him back to sleep in my bed anymore I don't have to worry so much about falling sleep in an unsafe position, which has lessened my anxiety and lets me sleep better too. I wake up less times in the night and feel much more comfortable sleeping in my bed.
I have my baby moniter turned up to max volume, so I hear even his little sleeping noises. Once he starts fussing a bit I know he's awake and I go pick him up. I always hear him and can get to his room before he even starts crying. Granted, we do live in a small apartment so our rooms are close to each other.
All in all its been a success for us. But again, every baby and every situation is different. It's all about finding the thing that works best for you, so that you and the baby can get the most sleep!
@huntinheros So far my two kids have been completely different about their sleeping habits and we bedshare with both of them. My son was just a terrible sleeper until age 2. We actually started bedsharing because he never ever wanted to sleep in his crib and I was exhausted. I wish I had given in earlier! Having a needy, clingy baby was easier to deal with while bedsharing. My daughter, on the other hand, is almost five months old and rarely wakes me up more than 1-2 times a night, and even then it is just to switch sides, latch boob, and go back to sleep 30 seconds later. With her I just decided weād bedshare from the get-go and it has been much less stressful. In general, she is just a much easier baby than my son, so I am not surprised that her sleep is better, too, and Iāve noticed that she sleeps a lot less during the day, perhaps because she has to try to sleep with a noisy toddler around (which her brother never did).
dogman1212
New member
@huntinheros So, with my DD, I fully intended on bed sharing as long as we could, as my Mom did with me. At around 3m, I noticed she was waking a lot at night, seeing me, & wanting to play/get my attention. She also had trouble falling back to sleep once waking up from rolling into me or the wall. (We have a cali king on the floor, so she had lots of room!) Anyway, after rocking her to sleep & putting her in her crib for naps for about a month, I finally decided to try doing it at bedtime. I had her camera set to alert me if she moved or cried...& stayed up the first couple nights watching it anyways. Sure enough, she started sleeping through the night, aside from one feed in which I'd nurse/rock her & put her back in her crib. That was our routine until she was 16m. She's now 21m & has transitioned to me just putting her in her crib at night without ever crying it out or anything. The downside - occasionally I'll try to get her to sleep in my bed & she only wants her crib. Which is a huge bummer for me.
@huntinheros Go with your instincts, each baby is so different. My first would only would sleep if in bed with me until he was about 14 months old, he was happy nestled there and wouldn't move all night. My newest baby, now 13 months, slept in my bed till about 4-5 months. But he was constantly waking. We worked out that he just wanted to move. Tried him in his own bed and he loved it. He is a wriggly baby, moves around in his crib in his sleep, so he was more comfortable with that freedom. He is a fabulous sleeper, but he will be in a different part of his bed every 30 minutes in all kinds of weird positions.
@huntinheros Some babies do but not all. I think you have to do what is best for you and your baby which may not be what works for someone else.
My son was in his room from 6 months but woke regularly every 2 to 3 hours. But I always went to him. I responded (and still respond) to every cry. At 11 months we brought him into bed with us (I was too anxious to have him with me before then) and he still woke every 2 to 3 hours.
I think sleep is developmental and some babies come to it earlier than others. My son is now almost 21 months and he has slept through the night about ten times in his life but about 4 of them are in the past week! Things do get better!
My son was in his room from 6 months but woke regularly every 2 to 3 hours. But I always went to him. I responded (and still respond) to every cry. At 11 months we brought him into bed with us (I was too anxious to have him with me before then) and he still woke every 2 to 3 hours.
I think sleep is developmental and some babies come to it earlier than others. My son is now almost 21 months and he has slept through the night about ten times in his life but about 4 of them are in the past week! Things do get better!
abandonentropy
New member
@huntinheros A baby is not supposed to sleep the whole night through, but us parents keep expecting it, because society tells us that's normal and the goal. Norwegian guidelines is to share a room at least to 6 months. I think I've read that research says that kids who bedshare (at least nursing kids) sleep better with mom. And nursing to sleep is encouraged for both mom and kids quality of sleep. In periods sleep is just crazy, my daughter kept waking up at 03 and stayed up till 06 for at least a week around 3 months. We've bedshared all along and she's 2yo now. She and dad usually sleeps from 07 to 07 (dad goes to bed a bit later, lol). But a while ago she woke up at 04 each night for a few weeks.
huntinheros
New member
@abandonentropy I really donāt expect her to sleep the whole night I would just like her to maybe do three-four hour windows so I feel less like a zombie
abandonentropy
New member
@huntinheros I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that you did. Of course you need more sleep! Sleep deprivation is horrible. Can your partner sleep with baby and you in a separate room? Since I got pregnant again we switched. I need more sleep and room.