Bed sharing but I keep being told that babies sleep better in there own rooms by people who in my bumper group

[followthestar]

@huntinheros From birth really. For both kids.

 

[katrina2017]

@huntinheros My baby sleeps better in her own room. She needs absolute darkness, loud white noise, nobody moving and like 2 feet on each side of her own space and she was obviously getting none of those things cosleeping. It got so bad that my wife and I were taking turns to cosleep with her while the other went to the spare room to get some actual uninterrupted sleep, and then we realised how much better she sleeps in her own space (ie. She would have one whole side of a king size bed and be a couple feet away from us) rather than pressed up against somebody, and from there we got the idea to try her own room and it worked and she now wakes up once or twice a night with her longest sleep stretch being around 8 hours.

Honestly we fought against it for too long because we WANTED to bed share. Unfortunately she didn't want to, starting from around 5 months. I believe cosleeping is a wonderful thing, don't let those other mums make you feel you should stop if you don't want to. Keep cosleeping for as long as it is working for you and your LO. But if it isn't working.... yeah, some babies like their own bed. We never had to sleep train, we just used the same bedtime routine to put her on a single mattress on the floor in her own room and then left her there with a baby monitor and things were immediately better.

 

[jackienan]

@huntinheros I think when people who put the baby in their own room, whether they like to admit or not, they are letting the baby cry it out to some degree. You respond quickly when the baby is right next to you, but when you have to get up and go to another room you’re more likely to wait longer. I’ve read that the baby gives up trying to cry out for help to conserve energy once they realize no one is coming.

 

[holyoption]

@huntinheros My baby is six months and was sleeping with us at night in our bed, and we also were holding her most of the night taking turns... she was waking every hour and it lasted for WEEKS so I was just starting to become really upset because no one was getting any good sleep, including her.

It seemed like she couldn’t get comfortable in our bed, and she always wanted us to hold her which was more and more difficult the older she got. She never slept a night in her crib in her life.

Last week we decided just to try putting her in the crib (in our room). And I really, really did not want to let her cry herself to sleep, because we never let her cry. We put her in the crib and left the room, she cried for ten mins and fell asleep. Honestly it was the longest ten mins and I don’t think I would let her go more than 15 mins. But now she is sleeping in her crib every night and rarely cries more than 10 mins. She was crying just as long as us holding her. I still respond to her cries throughout the night but she only wakes twice now. She is actually so much happier during the day because she is getting a lot more sleep. Me on the other hand I’m still dealing with anxiety and waking up every couple hours worried about her, but she’s right next to us (we added a dresser as a divider “wall”) and I can look at her on the camera. It’s definitely a big adjustment for everyone but it’s honestly so much better for her since she can spread out and has more room. I still am not ready to move her to another room yet though, maybe in a few months.

Edit: just want to add like everyone said every baby is different and just go with what feels right for your family. I totally agree with you and my bumpers group is the same about sleep training... the posts that mention their babies voices are horse because of so much crying are so upsetting to me. I could never let her cry for any prolonged period of time. Maybe ten mins is too long for some here and that’s ok too. I think a month ago my baby would have not been ready to fall asleep on her own and possibly would have cried for longer so I’m glad we waited to try this until 6 months.