Q+A Part 1: The Basics

[sunkis80]

@bernard222

1. How old are you and your SO? 25 and 30
2. How long have you and SO been together? What is your relationship status and do you plan to change your status before TTC? We've been together 2 years. Currently engaged but we're waiting until we get married to start trying.
3. What do you and SO do for a living currently? I manage my family's business and SO is in the army.
4. What are your career plans before and after TTC? Mine will stay the same. SO is getting out of the army in December aaaand no idea what's after. That's also part of our wait...
5. Where do you live and what are your living arrangements like? Do you plan on moving? We own a house together. We don't plan on moving until our kids are school because I don't love the schools we're zoned for.
6. What's your cultural backgrounds? Any cultural traditions you plan on passing down to your LO's? We're both Caucasian and from the Southeastern US.
7. What's your religious backgrounds? Do you plan on raising your kids with the same views? He is atheist and I am agnostic/spiritual. We plan to educate and be open minded when raising our kids and let them decide what they believe.

 

[bobeatspie]

@bernard222

1. I'm 24 (25 in November) and my SO is 32! He's the youngest of 5, so he kinda acts my age more anyway.
2. We have been together for 6 years and married for 1. We still plan on being married lol
3. I'm a Contracting Officer and he's a Clerk Typist. We both work for the government.
4. We're both in really great careers. We love what we do, have movement if we want it but will be just as happy where we are at too. It's stable as hell, pays well and it's the monster that we know, so we're happy!
5. We own a townhouse. We actually bought it last year! We definitely plan on moving down the road to something bigger and away from people. Being attached to shitty people sucks.
6. Not really any specific traditions but I'm black and DH is white. We (and our perspective families) definitely do things differently than the other lol. We have to deal with a lot of bullshit but we also have some awesome experiences too. We look forward to our kid growing up around both of our insane families and watching them learn how to navigate the world and make our own traditions as a little family.
7. DH was raised Catholic and so is all of his family. My family is Christian but I don't really identify with any religion. DH isn't exactly a hardcore Catholic either lol. We plan on letting our kid make their own decision about what they want to believe. We see it as a personal choice and we would support them in whatever they decide. We will, though, teach them to be educated and open minded.

 

[lostgirl28]

@bobeatspie My husband is the youngest of 5 as well! I always say it's like living with a 14 year old sometimes. Are you also from a big family or were you like me and had a hard time adjusting to big family life?

 

[bobeatspie]

@lostgirl28 I grew up an only child so it was sooooo hard getting used to his family! I still leave his parents house with a headache. There are always about 17 conversations going on at once and everyone is yelling lol I just learned to adapt haha. Are you used to it now?

 

[lostgirl28]

@bobeatspie Oh man, I have a sister who has 3 kids so I guess I had a taste of it. I've learned to adapt too haha, I have favorite siblings that I'm more used to than others so it depends on what kind of family gathering it is. Christmas was the biggest shock to me to have 21 people in one house, plus they are very close even with extended family so they rent community center and such for bigger celebrations.

 

[bobeatspie]

@lostgirl28 Lol I definitely have favorites too. One pretty much ignored me the first two years of our relationship. It was so shitty. That's crazy that they need a community center lol I wish my in laws did that, we get cramped in their house sometimes!

 

[lostgirl28]

@bobeatspie One of the brothers still ignores me, he flipped the bird in our wedding pictures, but he is my in laws favorite kid so he gets away with everything. The community center is nice it make it seem less crowded.

 

[bobeatspie]

@lostgirl28 Damn that's hard hopefully you don't have to be around him for too long at a time. I have to say I'm definitely lucky, the brother in law that's a problem for me is the one no one likes anyway

 

[slawbama]

@bernard222

1. 26 and 26. He's a half year older and almost 27.
2. We've been together for a little over 11 years. We started dating in high school. We're very casually "definitely gonna marry each other but not advertising it" engaged, so no engagement ring and just call each other SO/partner/bf/gf, with plans to get married pre-baby but no concrete plans on exactly how or when.
3. We're both engineers.
4. We plan to stay in our fields until baby comes. He will probably stay in engineering. I may stay in the field with reduced hours, be a stay at home mom, or I'm considering getting my degree in early childhood education and running a small in home daycare. Lots of possibilities at this point.
5. We live in a house we own. We plan to make some upgrades, but don't feel the need to move until at least baby #2 or even #3 since it's a 3 bedroom. We basically want to bring the non upgraded parts of the house from when it was built in the 70's into the 21st century.
6. We're pretty typical suburban americans. We grew up with a love of food, and hope to pass that on in a healthier way than how we got it. We also grew up in families with at least one big reader and one big musician and so a love of both music and literature is something we want to instill.
7. I grew up with a pastor dad and SO grew up with atheist/agnostic dad and vaguely Wiccan mom. So, our intention is exposure to religion and discussion of secular morality and consequences of behavior.

 

[katrina2017]

@bernard222 Hey everyone! I was a member of this sub back in 2015 before we started TTC #1! We conceived our beautiful baby after 5 months of fertility charting and temping! Our daughter was born in June 2017! We are currently WTT #2 with a timeline of April 2018!

1. How old are you and SO?

I am 22 and my husband is 29.

2. How long have you been together? What's your relationship status?

We have been together for 3.5 years, married for just over 1 year.

3. What do you and your SO do for a living?

My husband is a Exhibit Technician for our cities Royal museum. I was a Baker and am I currently on maternity leave.

4. What are your career plans for before and after TTC?

I plan to begin working from home and offering photography services for extra income.

5. Where do you live and what are your living arrangements like?

We live in Alberta, Canada. We currently rent a 3 bedroom home in a nice area. We have no plans to move before we TTC #2.

6. What's your cultural background? Do you plan on passing any traditions down?

I am French/British/German and my husband is Black(Unknown)/British/American Aboriginal. We have no plans to pass down any traditions.

7. What's your religious background? Do you plan on passing any traditions down?

I am an Atheist and my husband is non-denominational Christian. We have no plans to pass any religious traditions on. Our kids can believe whatever they wish.

 

[anonymouspractioner]

@bernard222

1. Age: planning to win on oldest combined age. I’m 36, husband is 44.
2. We have been together for just about exactly 3 years. (We both had starter marriages, no prior kids.)
3. We are both in professional jobs with a lot of responsibility (sorry, being a little vague on some of these to preserve anonymity in case someone who knows me might be reading).
4. No real plans right now re career. Husband doesn’t love his current position and may consider a switch. I love my job and it has growth potential, so I don’t expect any changes.
5. We live in a high COL urban area. We currently rent, and may buy, but we are in a competitive market that makes house hunting stressful. We will probably want to move if we end up with two kids, to have more space.
6. We are both pretty white bread American and don’t have any traditions we adhere to. I think we will do gift exchanges at Christmas.
7. We are both atheist as atheist can be. We plan to raise our kids the same, but will let them explore religion if they want to.

(Edited for spelling)

 

[joslyn04]

@anonymouspractioner Hey I'm 36 too! Nice to see I'm not alone.

 

[anonymouspractioner]

@joslyn04 Go team well-seasoned.

 

[janimelody]

@bernard222 Late to the party, but...

1. We're both 32
2. Together 3-4 years, married.
3. I'm an economist in the financial sector, which I freaking love. Husband is a software engineer.
4. I'm gunning for a promotion in the next year, and after ttc the aim is to come back full time. I want my boss's job (sort of).
5. I'm in the Northeast, in a small 1bdrm rented apartment in a very high cost of living area. We'll likely try and buy (or rent) in a good school district in the next year - unless my immigration papers fail for some unknown reason, in which case we start the move to Sydney!
6. I'm an Aussie, but my children will born and raised in the US. I want to still instill a bit of my home country in them if I can.
7. SO has very religious parents, and was really involved in the church for a long time. I have a religious education. But both of us have since moved somewhere along the agnostic (me), to atheist (him) spectrum. Our children will not be attending church until they're old enough to make that decision for themselves.

Edit: But if there's one thing I want to teach them, it's that "Just because it's different doesn't mean it's wrong". Being an immigrant (even from another anglo country) I meet a lot of people who think that the 'American way' is so obviously right and everything else is so obviously wrong. I want our child to know that there are differences in the world, and that it can be ok (there are also things that aren't ok, but different is not necessarily the same as bad). Weirdly, I really want to attend the various Islamic festivals near me (or rather, continue to do so with kids), since I want them to know that a woman in a hijab is not something to be threatened by (I grew up with a lot of Asian and Islamic people - whereas most of my husband's network was white).

 

[dorsettmm]

@janimelody

I want our child to know that there are differences in the world, and that it can be ok (there are also things that aren't ok, but different is not necessarily the same as bad).

This is so important to me - I grew up in NYC but my kids will grow up in Scotland, so will likely have a predominantly white network. I know I'll feel I failed as a parent if my future kids get nervous around people who are non white purely because of their skin color or clothes.

I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who works in early education about how she teaches her kid about differences being OK and the biggest thing she said is that right away we should buy toys that depict non-white people alongside the stereotypical blonde kid. Fisher Price Little People actually does a few sets that are relatively diverse, which is how the conversation came up (her daughter was playing with a set my niece owns) and it's at least a good starting point.

 

[duanewinklerjr]

@bernard222

1. I'm 29, hubs is 28.
2. Been together nearly 7 years (shit, really?). We're celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary in a month.
3. I work at a design firm (architecture & engineering), and I'm considering getting my masters while still working - though I'm not sure in what yet. Hubs works as the production director for our church.
4. If I figure out what I want to study, I'll get my masters and then pursue a teaching position at a university. However, that's the long term plan. Short term, I stay where I am. I've been here 2.5 years now and so I don't want to give up my FMLA benefits XD. Hubs is looking at other jobs because his current one isn't.... great. (Personality differences, to put it mildly) He may stay home with LO for a while, I will have to keep working. (cries)
5. We own a house in a suburb of a good sized city. We won't be in this house forever, but our kids will start school in this house, unless something drastically changes.
6. Um.... we're both white. Were raised in a (very different, but still the same) "white suburban bubble". Part of the reason we're planning on staying in the house we're in now is because of the school district. I don't know if I'd want my kids to graduate high school from here, however, it's still a good school district. And, it's not a bubble.
7. Well, hubs works for a church. I teach 2-5 year olds on Sundays. The church we attend/work/volunteer at is non-denominational, and regardless of if hubs keeps working there or finds a new job, we'll raise our kids in church.

 

[hoshiyya]

@bernard222 It seems I'm.late to the party!

1. How old are you and SO?

I'm 25 and DH is 28

2. How long have you been together? What's your relationship status?

This one's a bit tricky... Long distance for a while, married now for 2 years, total probably 5 years.

3. What do you and your SO do for a living?

I'm a personal banker and DH is a federal employee.

4. What are your career plans for before and after TTC?

In a perfect world DH would get a promotion at his job.next year, but even if he doesn't, he loves his job and will not be changing jobs anytime soon. I would like to get a better paying position, but it may have to involve more schooling, which I'm not thrilled about. We've played with ideas of me working part time after LO arrives.

5. Where do you live and what are your living arrangements like?

Currently we live in Corado in a two bedroom apartment. But we're moving in with my in-laws for a bit to save up more for a house, and hopefully buy sometime next year.

6. What's your cultural background? Do you plan on passing any traditions down?

I'm Hispanic and bilingual, so kids will all learn Spanish. We also have created our own food traditions/culture that we will continue with kids.

7. What's your religious background? Do you plan on passing any traditions down?

I grew up in a religious household, but DH did not. We don't currently attend any church since I haven't found one open minded enough yet. If we do find this mystical gem of a church, I'd love to attend with kids for socialization. However, they'll get the choice to come or not as they are old enough to decide.

 

[lindalee1456]

@bernard222

1. How old are you and your SO?
   
   I'm about to turn 28, he's 30.
   
2. How long have you and SO been together?
   
   Happily married for 2 years, together for 7.
   
3. What do you and SO do for a living currently?
   
   He's in sales, I hate my job with the fire of a thousand suns.
   
4. What are your career plans before and after TTC?
   
   I'm actively searching for a new job, and hope to be working somewhere new before the end of the year. I would ideally like him to get a raise, because at my shitty job, I still make more than he does, despite him working 10x harder than I. I hate bringing this up because I feel like he thinks I think he's not providing enough, but I just want him to be paid closer to what he's worth. /endrant
   
5. Where do you live and what are your living arrangements like? Do you plan on moving?
   
   We live in a college town in Florida. We rent a 3 BR house that we love. I don't think we plan to buy before TTC.
   
6. What's your cultural backgrounds? Any cultural traditions you plan on passing down to your LO's?
   
   White, European ancestry. We are each 1/4 Italian, though, and proud of that. Most/all of our tradition/culture revolves around food I hope we don't accidentally raise picky eaters!
   
7. What's your religious backgrounds? Do you plan on raising your kids with the same views?
   
   We're C&E'ers (Christmas & Easter). We don't believe in much of anything. We'll probably have them baptized (Catholic, like me), but not make religion a part of their lives.

 

[lissieee]

@lindalee1456

I hate my job with the fire of a thousand suns.

Hahahah. Now I'm dying to know what it is.

We live in a college town in Florida.

whispers ...is it Gainesville? You don't have to answer, that's where I grew up though

 

[gregp0072]

@lissieee Heyyy fellow (former?) Gainesville resident!