lifeisagift
New member
@mercuryash SIDS literally made me feel sick to the stomach. I would stay awake at night watching her then sleep in the day.
Its beyond awful.
Its beyond awful.
What’s your worst part of being a one and done parent?
- Thread starter mercuryash
- Start date
eyesbeholder
New member
@mercuryash Speaking for my wife here but honestly part of it is how you establish boundaries with them. It won't always be perfect and you might not get the rest when you want it but my wife is a stay at home mom with our nearly 3 year old and ultimately our daughter understands fairly well the concept of "needing a break".
One example of what she does is uses her Yoto player along with the many cards my wife has bought/built and will put in the card matching a book she likes and will just run through that for say 20 minutes here and there. There's other things she will often do for a bit on her own but this all came from my wife making sure our daughter built some sort of understanding of boundaries.
One example of what she does is uses her Yoto player along with the many cards my wife has bought/built and will put in the card matching a book she likes and will just run through that for say 20 minutes here and there. There's other things she will often do for a bit on her own but this all came from my wife making sure our daughter built some sort of understanding of boundaries.
@mercuryash That my parents think I will have another kid when I meet the right man.
By the time I meet the right man, my kid will probably be a teen. Why would I start over? Lmao
By the time I meet the right man, my kid will probably be a teen. Why would I start over? Lmao
@mercuryash Not sure what’s available where you live, but here’s a list of all the places I take my only during the week (not every day and every week of course! 
just the options we rotate through.) Helps keep her entertained and I really don’t have to do much other than keep her safe and watch her play.
Swim lessons
Aquarium
Local art museum (had a room for children to explore and play in plus a once a week outdoor playtime in their gardens that is her favorite thing ever)
Library (for general book borrowing, playing in the children’s play areas, and story time)
Parks/playgrounds (in our neighborhood, somewhere close by, or a whole different part of town)
On days I’m not up for it we just run a simple errand together or we go chill outside. She loves to pick up rocks while we take walks or just enjoys chalk or her water table toys. I feel you on being exhausted. Mine doesn’t start pre-school until this fall so I have her all day every day.
just the options we rotate through.) Helps keep her entertained and I really don’t have to do much other than keep her safe and watch her play. Swim lessons
Aquarium
Local art museum (had a room for children to explore and play in plus a once a week outdoor playtime in their gardens that is her favorite thing ever)
Library (for general book borrowing, playing in the children’s play areas, and story time)
Parks/playgrounds (in our neighborhood, somewhere close by, or a whole different part of town)
On days I’m not up for it we just run a simple errand together or we go chill outside. She loves to pick up rocks while we take walks or just enjoys chalk or her water table toys. I feel you on being exhausted. Mine doesn’t start pre-school until this fall so I have her all day every day.
mercuryash
New member
@mercuryash For me it’s the fear of leaving him alone. It’s the constant begging for a sibling (started in 2016 and has not stopped). It’s the loneliness (esp thru the pandemic).
My sister and I are 28 months apart, and we stopped being close at 12/10 and only recently started trying to build a relationship at 33/31. It’s no guarantee that your kids will like each other.
My sister and I are 28 months apart, and we stopped being close at 12/10 and only recently started trying to build a relationship at 33/31. It’s no guarantee that your kids will like each other.
@mercuryash It can be consuming. I know you want to vent but my heart goes out to you and i wish to share some tips in case it helps.
When my son was that age we kept a membership to the local children's museum. It was less than $100 for a year for one kid plus one adult. We only went on weekends but in your case you could make use of something like that after preschool or on days off. It was a little boring for me but it was a good way to get out. Besides a museum, there might be free library programs, Facebook groups, park ranger programs, etc where you can get out to take the edge off and have different things to stimulate and entertain your child. Then, after being out, she can have some downtime at home (like tv) to rest and without you feeling guilty.
I often took my son to short hikes and gardens since I like being outside. Then the big wide world entertained him but I had to keep him safe. When playing inside at home, if I needed to play with him a bit then I might put on an earbud and listen to an audiobook, and just go along with whatever my son was playing or doing. That was more entertaining for me, and sometimes I could learn things. Not every moment has to consome you and be cherished by you anf be perfect. Try to entertain yourself too.
I often let my son make a mess at the table with playdoh or drawing/crafts or building sets. Even if he only did that a half hour, and I have to clean it up, it gave us time to do things separately while still together. Then we practice cleaning up together and it's only 5 minutes to clean up. It's worth it.
When my son was that age we kept a membership to the local children's museum. It was less than $100 for a year for one kid plus one adult. We only went on weekends but in your case you could make use of something like that after preschool or on days off. It was a little boring for me but it was a good way to get out. Besides a museum, there might be free library programs, Facebook groups, park ranger programs, etc where you can get out to take the edge off and have different things to stimulate and entertain your child. Then, after being out, she can have some downtime at home (like tv) to rest and without you feeling guilty.
I often took my son to short hikes and gardens since I like being outside. Then the big wide world entertained him but I had to keep him safe. When playing inside at home, if I needed to play with him a bit then I might put on an earbud and listen to an audiobook, and just go along with whatever my son was playing or doing. That was more entertaining for me, and sometimes I could learn things. Not every moment has to consome you and be cherished by you anf be perfect. Try to entertain yourself too.
I often let my son make a mess at the table with playdoh or drawing/crafts or building sets. Even if he only did that a half hour, and I have to clean it up, it gave us time to do things separately while still together. Then we practice cleaning up together and it's only 5 minutes to clean up. It's worth it.
@mercuryash My partner and I discussed being a one and done before we became pregnant. We were under the pretense of “at least one, at most two”. We are now 7 weeks pp and we both very much think we are one and done. She’s an easy baby. She slept 930PM-7AM, only got up once to eat last night, and is healthy and happy- just newborn clingy but that’s expected.
That being said, I find myself in a constant state of “Am I enjoying this enough?”. I want to take in every moment because every first could very well be my last. I broke down planning my baby shower because I knew deep down this could be the only one I have- this could be the only baby I celebrate. I would sit in the hospital post-birth staring at her and crying because I wanted to soak in every moment enough. When she grows I feel so much joy, but so much pain as I know a stage is leaving me and I’ll never experience that stage again. I’ll never change a newborn diaper again. She will never fit her coming-home outfit again. I fear her last contact nap. The other day, she didn’t do the “newborn scrunch” when taking her out of the car seat and I began to cry.
Watching her grow is the most wonderful but heartbreaking experience. I want to bathe in every moment like it’s my last, because it is.
That being said, I find myself in a constant state of “Am I enjoying this enough?”. I want to take in every moment because every first could very well be my last. I broke down planning my baby shower because I knew deep down this could be the only one I have- this could be the only baby I celebrate. I would sit in the hospital post-birth staring at her and crying because I wanted to soak in every moment enough. When she grows I feel so much joy, but so much pain as I know a stage is leaving me and I’ll never experience that stage again. I’ll never change a newborn diaper again. She will never fit her coming-home outfit again. I fear her last contact nap. The other day, she didn’t do the “newborn scrunch” when taking her out of the car seat and I began to cry.
Watching her grow is the most wonderful but heartbreaking experience. I want to bathe in every moment like it’s my last, because it is.
@mercuryash I really worry about when me and my husband (son's dad) are old and then not here. I know a sibling doesn't guarantee support, it certainly didn't for my mum who looked after my nan with dementia with no support at all from her brother. But my dad is one of 3 and they lost their dad last year and have been a really solid support network for each other.
katrina2017
New member
@mercuryash Do you not go to local classes? We go to gymnastics and music club etc, it’s great
discombobulated1
New member
@mercuryash Yea but honestly I don’t think most siblings actually entertain or play well with one another. In fact I roll my eyes whenever someone says they have another simply for a playmate
@mercuryash You literally don't need to be entertaining a child all day . They should realistically be able to stay with themselves