One and done because my partner will never carry the same mental and physical load when it comes to taking care of this child

[virgintown]

@underdog_crusader He tried to “win me back” but it was far too little too late. Once he figured out I was never coming back he stopped putting forth any real effort. He doesn’t see his kid much now, and I’d imagine that will be a pattern with him

 

[tonyp]

@kerithravine410 I say this with the intention of being supportive and not strictly as advice or even a suggestion…

But at least you know you’d be just FINE as a single parent.

 

[kerithravine410]

@tonyp Why am I crying at this? Thank you kind Internet stranger. I’m sad that it’s come to this in the first place.

 

[7trees]

@kerithravine410 It’s not your fault

 

[lsmith25]

@kerithravine410 In fact you'd have it easier on your own. You wouldn't have the mental strain of dealing with your useless husband, and also the extra cooking and cleaning for him.

 

[brettg]

@lsmith25 I mean, this is a one and done page but she clearly has 2 children...

 

[kaff23]

@kerithravine410 Mental note: raise my son to understand how to take care of himself and even better, others, so this isn't his wife complaining about his complete lack of assistance in 20 years.

 

[sng092]

@kaff23 My boyfriend’s mother did this and my goodness. It’s a whole different and amazing world.

 

[theorc]

@kaff23 My 3 yo boy remembers to clean up after himself better than any grown man I’ve been around, Ive done all the chores with him involved since he could walk and he loves it! He’s got his own little cleaning set. Highly recommend! (Just to be clear he doesn’t touch chemicals at all, he does things like cleaning up his own toys, clearing his plate and putting it in the sink, putting his own rubbish in the bin, sweeping the floors, doing laundry etc)

 

[kerithravine410]

@kaff23 You’re doing the lords work

 

[catlover88]

@kaff23 For real! My 2 y/o puts his laundry in the hamper, cups and plates in the sink, trash I’m the bin, and cleans up his toys. This is what we expect of him at this age and he can do it. We will have him learn to do laundry and help prepare meals when he’s older. Both of us will be damned if we raise a man-child who weaponizes incompetence.

 

[katrina2017]

@kaff23 My husbands mom did this for me. I am pretty sure he changed many more diapers than I ever did and he loved it. He loves being a dad so much.

 

[underdog_crusader]

@kaff23 Big time. I say over and over to my husband, in-laws my son will not be able to have a functional relationship, or even be a decent roommate, if he isn’t capable of cleaning, cooking and taking care of himself.

 

[kurayami]

@kerithravine410 The invisible load of motherhood is a real drag.

 

[kerithravine410]

@kurayami I don’t know how our foremothers had 10 kids in a lifetime … the math ain’t mathin’ from a mental health standpoint

 

[rgl2012]

@kerithravine410 Because back then they would scream at and beat their children into submission in order to handle them all. It wasn’t easy by any means ever. Today it just looks different and feels heavier because we try to actually nurture our children and heal past family trauma. So it’s just…a lot. I hope things improve for you and he steps up it’s such a mental load to have on only one person

 

[kerithravine410]

@rgl2012 Such a good point. I’m shielding my girl from my own bullshit but I will not raise her in an environment where mom does everything. It’s not right.

 

[rgl2012]

@kerithravine410 Yes it’s really beneficial for children to see a family as a team, not just one person working themselves into the ground

 

[lsmith25]

@rgl2012 And all kids older than 2 were thrown outside to play for the day. Only come back for dinner or when dark.

 

[fadders]

@kerithravine410 Also the oldest daughter would act as a second mother to the younger children.