One and done with an easy pregnancy and easy (so far) baby?

[samsimmons]

@breanne Im one and done with an easy baby! Hes 20 months now and still a happy guy. Hyper as hellll but happy/well behaved

I think why make it hard?

 

[goodred]

@breanne I’m an older sibling who struggled a lot with sibling rivalry growing up. I love my sister to bits but I’m never going to have more than one child, because I know how easy it is to slip up and break one child’s heart while parenting two. One and done all the way.

 

[brandonsmom777]

@breanne I had a relatively "great' pregnancy, only got preeclampsia like a day or 2 before I gave birth at 41 weeks. I didn't feel too heavy, or get sick, or tired or couldn't sleep. It was pretty good. However I hated it and the feeling of being pregnant I hated my bump. My mental health and anxiety was horrible.

My labour was "easy" I quite liked it! Induction went well, just used my tens machine and no other pain relief, got to be mobile and like 15 mins of pushing.

And with bub, no massive health problems, pretty chill baby, very happy, so so so bloody cute.

I quite enjoyed the newborn stage. I don't want to go through it all again and have a HORRIBLE experience

 

[aboundant]

@breanne Thank you for asking this question. It’s something I think/worry about all the time lately so it’s incredible to hear so many other people relating.

And to answer the question, yes, me! Easy pregnancy, mostly smooth L&D, easy baby but toddlerhood (starting around 15 months) has had its challenging moments for sure. We’re still not firmly decided but mostly leaning OAD for reasons you mentioned such as wanting to give him our physical and emotional attention as well as to balance our lives. It’s hard enough with one to make time for ourselves, maintain friendships, hobbies, career growth, etc. and I do believe the version of me that isn’t stressed out out of her mind is going to be the better parent for our son. I also feel fulfilled with our family of three (well 4 with our pup), not sure why I’d shake up a good thing.

 

[a_swope13]

@breanne 12 month old daughter here. Fairly easy pregnancy just some minor stuff: bad swelling, carpal tunnel. An okay birth. Pushed for 3 hours, lots of crying, throwing up, etc. baby had colic but typically super happy now. Not the chillest.. but that’s alright haha. my main reason is ppd/ocd. I just can’t do that again. Otherwise I could do the rest again. But the hormones after? Absolutely not! Haha and honestly I’m super super content with my one another would be absolute chaos for me mentally.

 

[patrickwhite]

@breanne One and done just because I don't have the energy, time and money for 2

 

[popmum]

@breanne Having a great kid and experience can itself be a reason not to roll the dice on a second kid, since you might not be so lucky next time. I had a colleague whose second pregnancy ended in an extremely premature delivery where the baby had to stay at the NICU for over a month, for example.

I was an only child myself, and always envisioned just having one kid, so if I do end up being OAD I don't feel any guilt at all. There are many advantages to being an only child, and you never know how close siblings are going to be. I have heard from people before with siblings that I am lucky to be an only child.

(I have tried to remain open-minded re: second child for my husband, and I had a very easy pregnancy, but so far I cannot imagine having another child...both logistically, and because our child is so wonderful and our family feels complete already to me).

 

[prayhouse]

@breanne Easy pregnancy, rough delivery, easiest baby and child I’ve ever met. Feeling all the same feelings, but not changing our minds. Kiddo is 3.

 

[shadraq]

@breanne Pretty much the same I had an amazing pregnancy and honestly lived being pregnant, my labor ended up being a bit wild with 60 hours of labor 4 hours of pushing and a C-section but even that wasn’t bad. We were leaning towards one and done before getting pregnant but my husband still wanted 2 but after talking about it we decided to just have one so all of our attention can be focused on her, it has also allowed me to stay home with her for the foreseeable future. This summer we’ve already done so many things with her that I know we wouldn’t do if we had 2 kids.

 

[chakotay5]

@breanne My pregnancy had a few complications but nothing too scary, and my labour, birth and recovery was very smooth.

Our daughter has always been on the clingy side but other than that she’s an absolute unicorn child. I’m obviously biased, but we’ve also heard from other people how amazing she is, and have even had young early childhood educators comment that when they have kids, they hope they’re like our child.

Just because it wasn’t traumatic or really hard (hey, all parenting is really hard in one way or another) doesn’t mean you have to do it again if that’s not for you!

I like to say, it’s not that I don’t love being a mum. It’s that I really love only being my child’s mum - it’s the best!

 

[kenoy]

@breanne Me! Maybe it seemed easy because I expected all aspects of getting/staying/being pregnant and then delivering to be extra hard due to age and health stuff, but things went ok. Baby is the 8th wonder of the world, and also the 9th. Bubs is only 4 months old and I'm not getting rid of my maternity clothes yet, but we've been pretty sure about being OAD for years. I love that the experiences and perspectives on this sub are helping me build confidence in that decision. A sibling might be a blessing to the baby we already have and to our lives, but I also know that being an only comes with its own perks and gifts for everyone in our family.

 

[peterh99]

@breanne Yep. I thought I would want two but while I am loving life with my one I just know now that the challenges that come with more are not ones I want in my life. I hate having to deal with kids bickering and fighting. I can just choose not to have that in my own home? Sold. And I could list a whole load of other logical reasons but basically it comes down to that gut feeling. I really really wanted my one and if I don't have that intense desire for another it wouldn't be right to do it.

 

[bigtop0]

@breanne I feel like we were OAD before we even had our son, pregnancy was uncomplicated and though our now almost 3 years old has his challenges, he's really a dream kid. If people ask about a second I just say that I feel that our family is complete with him, and I don't have a yearning for a second kid, which is true! If it ain't broke don't fix it.

 

[deavallsbabe]

@breanne you don’t have to suffer to be one and done.

why would your child resent you if you’re a good parent who gives them a good life?

 

[freedom0777]

@breanne We were one and done before pregnancy. It was easy, I made it through labour with 2 paracetamol and a local anaesthetic (didn't realise how far we were and missed the optimal hospital arrival). He's just turned one and is the heart of my world but we remain one and done for lots of reasons including: space in our home, future travel with him, having time to spend one on one with him, our hobbies and my job (I don't want another year away) to name a few.

Guilt will be there whatever you do I think, I'm sure there are parents of multiples that feel guilty they can't go to Disney world or their kids share a room. By this point I'm fairly convinced guilt is a natural state of parenthood, find them good friends, facilitate play dates and carry on with what works for your family and ignore the naysayers.

 

[okieallday]

@breanne I had a pretty easy pregnancy and an “easy” delivery with epidural (fairly speedy for a first baby).

We sleep trained her at 6 months so she’s been sleeping through the night since then (with the occasional off-night of course). She is a good eater as well. Almost never cries at daycare/gym daycare drop off. (Though she has a quick temper and is going through a clingy phase at 21 months.)

Why risk it with a second baby haha.

 

[amcleaning]

@breanne Agree with all the points on other comments here, but adding that I feel like I really lucked out with my pregnancy/delivery experience as well as having what seems like a relatively “easy” baby - I just don’t want to do it again knowing how much could go wrong or not as smoothly as it has this been this time! Feeling like we dodged a lot of the risk.

 

[tbvsthienloc2020]

@breanne “One and done just because” is honestly such a beautiful reason

 

[notadaypromised]

@breanne Your post just summarises my thought process and experience. I always wanted to be a mother of two kids, but with my first kid, I realised I got my dream fulfilled. I love him so much that I really don't want to share my time with anyone else, and with another kid in the picture, I'm sure it won't be possible. I have numerous people telling me all the time to have a second one, but I don't listen to them as they won't be raising the child, we would. I want to do a great job with my only child rather then do a crappy job with two. I'm sure there would be moms who would do great job with multiple kids, but I suck at multitasking. So, it's only you who knows your situation, and only you should be deciding what's good for you, not anyone else.

 

[mikelore]

@breanne My husband and I are in the same boat. Our 6 month old is a unicorn baby and we don’t want to risk screwing it up I’m also working on getting my PhD and I just don’t think it would be wise to have two kids. I’d love to have a bunch of dogs and farm animals instead honestly.