One and done because my partner will never carry the same mental and physical load when it comes to taking care of this child

[kerithravine410]

@susanm Is the bar in hell? I think the bar is in hell. Can someone confirm? Hahah

 

[maryanne76]

@kerithravine410 I’m so glad you still have your sense of humor, OP. It’s a good sign of mental health and most wouldn’t still have it in your shoes I’m so sorry you’re going through this but I guess the silver lining is you found out you can literally do anything (if you didn’t already know that before).

 

[tam85]

@kerithravine410 How are men comfortable letting their partners do everything? Like aren’t they embarrassed to be such a drain on their family?

 

[aines123]

@tam85 These types of men see it as beneath them to even know how to do these tasks.

Bill Gates doesn’t know the price of a gallon of milk these days. It’s not because he’s a bumbling incompetent oaf who’s too stupid to figure out the price of milk. It’s because he’s so rich he doesn’t need to know — those kinds of details are beneath his station.

 

[unseenunknown]

@tam85 Their time >>>> than anyone else’s time

 

[turnergeorge]

@unseenunknown This. Every time we go somewhere as a family, we are late because SO is taking his sweet sweet time. Meanwhile, I've got my toddler and myself ready, bags packed, car is loaded, and we are waiting by the damn door.
Then we are late and people assume it's me and the kid's fault.

A few months ago, SO blew up at me because he didn't remember to put our son's birthday plans on his calendar and he had meetings that day. Somehow it was my fault ?? Dude, we talked about the plans just days prior and you can handle your own damn calendar. You add meetings to your calendar at work And literally, it was our son's birthday, you should know what damn day it is on. He probably expected me to send him a Google calendar invite to his son's birthday. Makes me sad.

 

[katrina2017]

@turnergeorge My brother does this. Takes forever to leave the house because he randomly decides he needs to do something before they go anywhere. Meanwhile my sister in law will have her and their son ready to go on time. Recently my brother made their whole family show up two hours late to a family event and let everyone assume it was her fault. Unbelievable.

 

[kevin_01]

@turnergeorge Just leave without him!

 

[underdog_crusader]

@unseenunknown This right here is one of my biggest factors in being OAD. Second right behind my first of ‘don’t desire another child’.

 

[vincentcross]

@tam85 They’re selfish. They truly just think of themselves first, and know if they don’t step up, things will be taken care of by the woman. Then they act surprised when their woman leaves them, because the woman realizes she can just do it on her own, because she already is.

I know people who found getting divorced easier than being married because when they gave their kid to their ex, for their custody arrangement, the woman actually had a break, and when the mother was parenting, she had been doing it all before anyway.

 

[lccpmoouc]

@tam85 I had something of a conversation with my male co worker about this. For context, He wants a kid sooo bad that he makes offhand comments that he'd divorce his soon to be wife if she's unable to have his kid...

I'd spent yet another intensive weekend at a sports event with my kid during which my friend had commented that on her way home one of the days with her oldest- her husband kept messaging her because he couldn't figure out how to feed her youngest. Like, flat out this man was asking my friend as she was driving home to tell him what to make for dinner.

I went to work the following Monday and told my coworker how insane that situation is.. like, how can a GROWN man not figure out supper without help??? My male (soon to be married and desperately wants a kid) co workers feedback? "Men like that are goals" and "in his culture it would be embarassing to expect a man to cook"

 

[kerithravine410]

@lccpmoouc That’s it. The bar is in hell.

 

[jahutto]

@lccpmoouc

in his culture it would be embarassing to expect a man to cook"

Ugh. It is so gross to me when adults can't take care of their basic needs for survival.

 

[lccpmoouc]

@jahutto Agreed. This man grew up in western culture. I was absolutely floored that he seemed to think that he shouldn't evolve past his parents home country culture ... as it was when they left in the 70s/80s.

I'm not saying anything but the man is in for a rude wake up call if he does wind up having children.

 

[sjam]

@lccpmoouc I hope his soon-to-be-wife realizes what an asshole she’s married and divorces his ass. This makes me so angry!

 

[kaff23]

@lccpmoouc Dear god that man is going to be divorced one day.

 

[robynhymn]

@lccpmoouc Damn thats sad. My husband doesn’t really cook but he will take my son to Chick fil a or another place when I’m working late or doing a girls night.

 

[katrina2017]

@robynhymn Yep it's not even about being able to cook, it's the simple concept of being able to feed yourself and your own child. The fact that a grown adult can't handle that is embarrassing AF.

 

[robynhymn]

@katrina2017 Agreed. A grown adult should be able to figure it out.

 

[anonymous108723]

@tam85 No they are not embarrassed. They should be, but they don't give a fuck about women's opinions and other men say NOTHING.