One and done with an easy pregnancy and easy (so far) baby?

[little1]

@breanne Same, sort of. Pregnancy was easy, keeping the pregnancy was a different matter. I had two second trimester losses before my daughter. She has been amazing, an easy baby and a (relatively) easy toddler. We did entertain trying for a second, mostly because that was the initial plan. I actually did get pregnant, but honestly wasn't overly thrilled about it. I wound up having an early miscarriage and we decided we were done, not because the kids was traumatic, but because we realized we really didn't want another child that much. It would have been fine if I hadn't miscarried, I'm sure we would have loved him/her, but when given a second chance we decided against it. We're so happy as a family of three. Logistics, finances, and overall balance just works for us.

We get people telling us to have a second as well. We're "good parents", so they don't understand why we don't. Fundamentally, it's your choice. Don't feel guilty. I'm an only child and I loved it. It was great because my parents were present, engaged, and able to give me experiences and opportunities. They were also their own people, with careers, interests, goals, and hobbies that I watched them pursue.

 

[we124982]

@breanne I had a very easy baby who is now a very easy toddler. We could easily afford more kids. We love being parents. But we also like having time for our careers, friends, hobbies and downtime. We like the idea of traveling, early retirement and being nimble as a little family. One for us is the perfect balance of being parents without feeling overwhelmed as parents.

I don’t think there needs to be guilt here. When we were thinking about family size, we talked to all of our adult friends who were only children. The vast majority loved being onlies. The few that didn’t came from insular families who weren’t social or building community for their kid. My son has a group of very close friends and cousins. We see them several times per week, we trade babysitting, vacation together, we’re great friends with their parents. Most of them are only children as well (VHCOL city). There’s no evidence that supports our societal myths about lonely only children.

 

[thehardenfamily]

@we124982 Loved reading what your adult friends who were onlies had to say as all.

 

[miranda97]

@breanne I had an easy pregnancy and a unicorn easy baby.

Still OAD.

 

[foolishprodigal]

@breanne Me! Easy pregnancy, fairly easy delivery, easy and happy baby. Things are good, I’m happy and able to give my son my best self.

 

[schmuelsons]

@breanne Relatively easy pregnancy (nausea was a bitch as I'm emetophobic tho) and a generally happy baby except for 2 weeks around 5-7 weeks old, but otherwise she's been great. She's 2.5 now and so much fun, exhausting, but fun. I'm still OAD.

I silence the worry by reminding myself that siblings aren't the be all and end all. Chosen family is enough and I can give her everything she could want or need.

 

[alexis5]

@schmuelsons Fellow emetophic here. That first trimester was rough! And why do it again or increase your chances of stomach bugs with more kids?

 

[lilbird]

@breanne I am one and done but it had nothing to do with my pregnancy or baby. If I wanted another I would have.

 

[tollsuur]

@breanne We like to say we’re “quitting while we’re ahead”! We’re happy with our family of 3 humans plus 2 dogs and adding another child would only increase our stress levels in every way.

 

[derville]

@breanne I had a good pregnancy, non traumatic delivery, amazing partner, two incomes, financial security etc and am so happy, content and fulfilled with my only

I have no guilt about this. One kid seems like a life hack to me. You get the Experience of parenthood but the time, energy and resources to really be an attuned, dedicated and supportive parent emotionally and financially. I’m the oldest of 5 and don’t believe you need siblings. I’ve had lots of people tell me I “have to” have another, and it feels really awesome to smile and say No thanks, we’re good

I think if people want more than one child and it brings them joy, all the power to them. But to me it sounds draining, financially and emotionally lol. I’ll save my bandwidth for one.

 

[thehardenfamily]

@derville

lifehack YES! Love this!​

 

[melissauk]

@breanne Me! I didn’t enjoy pregnancy but it was easy by all accounts. Labor and delivery were smooth and pretty fast for a FTM. Recovery was a breeze. LO was an easy, happy baby who slept through the night at 3 months. She’s been a delightful toddler. Truly can’t ask for a better kid. We are so smitten.

 

[abraham7777]

@breanne OAD before I even started IVF. My pregnancy was a joke - I had no symptoms besides a belly and regularly forgot I was pregnant. My now 2yo slept independently from the beginning and I formula fed from birth by choice. I do not want to roll the dice.

 

[thegoodreverend]

@breanne I have lots of different rationale from over the years but at the end of the day, I can't imagine a realistic scenario where it would be a good idea to have another child with my husband.

 

[steph08]

@breanne My baby is only 8 weeks and this is how I feel. Pregnancy was textbook, I loved my L&D, but I’ve always been 80% sure I am OAD. The newborn phase and hearing about moms with toddlers and newborns confirms I’m happy to just have one! Also- I’m an only child! It’s worked on great for my family. No complaints here

 

[jasoncwd]

@breanne This is me and my husband. Super easy pregnancy, labor was fine, extremely chill baby, great sleeper, sweet adorable 2 year old. The OAD convo has come up before (even before we had our first), but we always ended with saying we’d have 2. Now we’ve pushed back our “let’s start trying” month for like…. 10 months lol and the OAD convo is getting more and more serious. Not sure either of us really know yet but the more we sit with the idea the nicer it sounds. But mainly really confused right now - I spend days thinking about how cool 2 kids would be, but then at the end of the day all the reasons 1 would be great come back to me! I think I need an out of body experience to guide me to the answer.

 

[prfxn]

@breanne Same boat. Great pregnancy and baby but we are holding strong.

 

[cornswalled]

@breanne My only (almost two year old) daughter makes me grateful to be OAD. She’s lovely and sweet and also a god damn psychopath. I wouldn’t survive a second while dealing with the chaos she chooses.

 

[superiormarketing]

@breanne I feel the exact same way. What I keep reminding myself of is that even though I feel some guilt or sadness about not having another kid, I don’t actually want one. I don’t think my mental health, marriage, or budget could handle another one. I hit the jackpot and I’m cashing out.

 

[christianwife123]

@breanne Ugh I have the same worries, I had an easy baby and so far he’s been an easy toddler but financially and mentally I don’t think I can do it. We can afford to put him into sports and camp or whatever he wants to do but two kids we’d be barely making it. I was an only for the first 6 years of my life and it was bliss and my husband wished he was an only so I’m going to go with that