Q+A Part 2: WTT

@lindalee1456 No, we'll be there right after Thanksgiving. We did Food & Wine on our honeymoon though, and it was wonderful - definite 2 thumbs up from both of us. We're going this year and doing all of the Christmas things.
 
@bernard222 1. Why are you waiting? We recently bought a house in a different city - SO can keep his job but I can't, so we're waiting for the move and me to get a job.

2. How long have you been waiting? Feels like forever sometimes, doesn't it? I've known I wanted kids since I was practically a kid, SO never really thought about it until we got serious about 4 years ago.

3. When will you start trying? We move in 6 weeks and hopefully I'll have a job soon after. Once I'm settled in the job, we'll likely start trying.

4. How does your SO feel about waiting and trying? Realistically, I'm the holdup. He's ready, but we both feel like I need to feel a bit more settled before we TTC.

5. What are your top 3 goals you'd like to accomplish before TTC? At this point it's just move and get a job, but I wouldn't mind losing those last few extra pounds... Saving some more money is key since our savings will be basically obliterated when we take possession of the new house.

6. Any trips/vacations you'd like to take before TTC? We just got back from our big pre-TTC trip! A week and a half at Disney World!

7. Does anyone in your personal life know about your wait/TTC timeline?
My two best friends do, though one of them seems to be a bit in denial about it!

8. What are your hopes and fears about waiting? I worry that it will take a long time to get a job. Then I worry that I'll get a job that requires me to work there a year before getting pregnant to be eligible for more than the legal minimum of maternity leave /benefits and it will make me reconsider our time line.

9. What are your hopes and fears about TTC? I'm about to turn 31 so I think it's natural I worry it will take longer than anticipated to conceive but I try to remember my mom was 35 when she had her first and 39 when she had me and both times got pregnant in the first two cycles. I also seriously worry about miscarriages, especially as my mom and I live in different countries and I won't have her or my close friends around to support me in person.

10. Should we continue these questionnaires? Yes! I think they're fun :)
 
@bernard222
  1. Basically we want to have more space, more money, and a bit more stability.
  2. There isn’t really a specific time. Both of us started to experience baby fever about a year ago.
  3. Our current plan is to get less regimented with sex next July: basically just using spermicide and pulling out, and if something happens because those methods are less effective it is what it is. But we’re hoping to start really TTC in July 2019. If not then, it will be July 2020.
  4. It depends on the day. I think he’s nervous for how our life will change and the financial impact a baby will have, so at times he’s hesitant of the plan, but he has acknowledged that when it happens he’s gonna be elated and it’ll fall into place somehow.
  5. First - Financial - Save up an emergency fund, a baby fund, pay off DH’s credit card debt, and start a retirement fund for DH. Second - Build a bigger house. Third - For me, get at least a year, hopefully one more, of teaching under my belt.
  6. Eh, we were hoping to travel overseas, but I think we may just make a few trips in the US now, like to national parks and such.
  7. Both of our closest friends know about our timeline, and my parents and my sister know.
  8. My hopes for waiting is that we’ll be more stable financially and have more space for a baby. I fear not being able to figure out what I want to get my master’s degree in. Also, I worry I will figure it out, but the financial strain to get my master’s will push the timeline back more.
  9. I hope our TTC journey is easy and I fear infertility. I don’t have any logical reason to worry about our fertility, but I’m just a chronic worrier. I also fear getting pregnant, but miscarrying our baby. I also fear that it will take us longer than our window to conceive. As a teacher, we’re aiming for an April, May, or June birthday so I can have maternity leave that runs into summer break, and then I can just come back in August so I can establish my expectations and procedures how I want them.
  10. Yes!
 
@bernard222
  1. We're waiting because I'm traveling to Zika risk areas during spring and summer next year.
  2. I've been waiting for about 1.5 years and SO finally jumped on board about 6 months ago.
  3. We'll start trying in August 2018.
  4. He's excited and has been wanting to start TTC when he jumped on board.
  5. Travel, get in shape, save.
  6. I'll be traveling to Puerto Rico for work and we're trying to squeeze in a trip to Southeast Asia as well.
  7. No one knows.
  8. I'm scared of finding out we can't get pregnant, I'm scared of financial problems, I'm scared of health issues.
  9. I'm hoping we'll get pregnant without issues, I'm hoping my daughter will love her little brother/sister,
  10. I think the questionnaires have been interesting.
 
@bernard222 1) We are waiting for my husband to finish grad school so we can then move closer to family and get a house. A lot of things we are waiting on that all go together.

2) We've been seriously discussing kids mostly since we got married so a little over a year.

3) Trying time depends on the job/living situation mentioned above, but it should be within the next year.

4) My husband always says "Lets make a baby" but I think he's really saying "let's have sex without protection". Lol But in all seriousness he understands the timeline and created a lot of it himself.

5) Goals would be to move closer to family, buy a house, and get new jobs.

6) We don't really do trips or vacations much so nothing planned.

7) Our family and friends have a vague timeline, but we don't talk too seriously with our family about it because we don't want them to go all baby crazy yet. We also want it to be a surprise when we get pregnant instead of having them ask every time we see them, which my sister-in-law already does.

8) I Hope time goes quickly and all of our plans fall into place. I fear not being able to move closer to family.

9) I hope everything goes smoothly and timely. I fear having to find an alternative occupation.

10) Yes!
 
@saravr Agreed. I'm very close with my parents and I can't imagine doing this without them close by. I also want my kids to be close to their grandparents. And having a willing babysitter nearby wouldn't hurt. Lol
 
@bernard222
  1. Waiting due to financials and until I get into a bit better shape.
  2. Been waiting for about 2-3 years off and on? We kind of went back and forth on the idea of having kids for a little while.
  3. We will likely start trying in about 2 months.
  4. He hates having to wait right now. If he had his way we would have started to try this past month, but we only just came up with a more solid timeline and I wasn't ready yet.
  5. I'd like to get a stronger core and up my cardio a bit. I'd like to put more into savings. I'd like to get a good stockpile of baby necessities put away for the first few months (crib, stroller, carrier, diapers, change table, etc). I'd rather spread the cost of those bigger items out over a longer period of time so it's not as much of a shock to the ole bank account later on.
  6. I would have liked to have been able to travel to London again, and Yorkshire to visit some cousins I'd recently connected with thru Ancestry.ca. But in order to save for a future baby, the trip will have to be put off. DH and I are totally fine with that though.
  7. I told my best friend the other day about our timeline when she asked me about it. She was very excited since she herself has recently gotten pregnant after 3 years of trying (hallelujah!).
  8. I'm hoping that the money we have been able to save will be enough, and that there aren't any major, sudden expenses that pop up. I'm also hoping I can resist the baby fever and follow the timeline we made!
  9. I'm worried that TTC will take a while. I'm also kind of nervous for all the medical prepping (blood work, exams, etc).
  10. Yes! :)
 
@bernard222
  1. We were waiting for me to reach a particular career goal. Recently, I felt the added pressure that it was holding up TTC was making it harder to achieve, so I decided to remove that requirement. I'm not giving up on the goal - I'm just relaxing about when it has to happen. Now we're waiting for me to switch to a conception & pregnancy friendly medication & be on supplements for 3+ months.
  2. I've had lots of points of 'we should go for it' over the years. Once we got engaged, I decided I wanted it to be after our wedding, so I'd probably say officially since Aug '15.
  3. Hopefully January or February, maybe a little later, depending on medical advice.
  4. He doesn't have full-on baby fever like me, but does want babies and is happy to start when I want to. I think seeing my sister's husband enjoying fatherhood has really helped him see himself as a father. I don't think he has much awareness of TTC, but he's claimed he'll read my What to Expect Before You're Expecting.
  5. Revised goals are: lose a little weight, develop greater fitness, be conception ready in terms of safe medication & supplements.
  6. We are visiting some far-away family in October and we're hoping to go a German Christmas market. Seeing the Nothern Lights is on my bucket list, but I don't know when we'd fit that it in.
  7. My Mum knows about my career goal & medication. I don't want to talk to her about the timeline changes, because she wouldn't approve and I don't want her to be super-aware of us TTC & stressing over it. I've discussed it a little with my best friend. I don't want the added pressure of lots of people wondering if I'm pregnant yet, but it can be difficult not discussing it much.
  8. I worry that I am wasting good eggs :( I worry about getting pregnant before and things going wrong. I hope that we are making good choices, and that as time passes, we are becoming better future parents as we become more 'ready'.
  9. I hope it goes smoothly and we can enjoy it. I have all the usual fears about fertility. Also, there is so much information and misinformation out there, it's difficult to sort and not feel overwhelmed.
  10. Yes - enjoying them and everyone's responses.
 
@johnnyleon Are you in the UK? If so, you can totally try to see the Northern Lights one weekend - I took my husband for his birthday a few years back as a surprise, we flew to Iceland on Thursday and came back on Monday but it's such a short flight you can do it in less days.
 
@johnnyleon We went the first weekend of October -- it was a tad early for seeing the lights, but we managed to see them a bit! My understanding is going late Oct through Feb is your best chance.

If you're planning on doing a coach tour to see the Northern Lights, I'd recommend booking it for your first night, most companies let you rebook on to the next night for free if you didn't see the lights the first time. If you're planning on renting a car and driving out of the city yourself, ignore me :)
 
@bernard222 Why are you waiting?

Currently we're waiting because we went to a Zika zone on our honeymoon.

How long have you been waiting?

I've probably been waiting since I got home from my big backpacking trip in March 2016.

When will you start trying?

17 December 2017.

How does your SO feel about waiting and trying? Not too distressed about waiting, ready to try in December.

What are your top 3 goals you'd like to accomplish before TTC?

We've really completed everything other than pay off the mortgage, and we're about $500 shy of that goal.

Any trips/vacations you'd like to take before TTC?

We'd like at least one more ski trip before we have a baby, but that can happen while trying or maybe even during early pregnancy.

Does anyone in your personal life know about your wait/TTC timeline?

My doctors! Everyone else gets the vague version of soon.

What are your hopes and fears about waiting?

NA.

What are your hopes and fears about TTC?

Not being able to conceive. Having a bunch of miscarriages. Needing fertility treatments and that making my life terrible. Becoming a bitter person due to struggling with conceiving. You know, the usual.

Should we continue these questionnaires? :)

Sure, they're a bit of fun.
 
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