@jesusmypeace I’m sorry to hear it’s been a rough first year. Hopefully things start getting easier soon.
Every kid is different. Not saying this to be rude or anything but we are thriving with one. Sure the first few months were really hard but after that my son started sleeping through the night for 11 - 12 hours straight and still does at 10 months. We’ve are very thankful that he’s an amazing sleeper. He’s been in his crib since 4 months.
We do 100% formula feed, since 3 months, which I think has made a big difference in how well he sleeps and how less stressed we are. Pumping was always this every day multiple times per day all consuming thing that is now gone. For those parents that do it bravo, that’s amazing, but I just couldn’t. Going out now to do whatever, including monthly vacations that we take as a family, are more than doable and are enjoyable.
Life is great with one.