A man told me having a c-section was the easy way of giving birth

@lasaruse But didn't you know birth is hardest for the man? They have to do so much work while their partners recover AND they have to sleep on the uncomfortable hospital couch. We should have more sympathy for them.
 
@lasaruse
Not a meal or nap can be missed for a man while observing a woman in active labor!
Click to expand...

This just reminded me...

I went into labor on Sunday the 3rd. They kept me in triage for awhile and were thinking of sending me home. I knew we would end up coming back later, so I figured ok if they let me go then we'll go get lunch and come back. Because by that point I was hungry. WELL they waited long enough to check me again and decided to keep me. So my husband was hungry for lunch by then and once I was moved, he went down to the cafeteria and got himself some lunch. Meanwhile I was only allowed to have ice chips or popsicles. I was so annoyed.
 
@katrina2017 I honestly thought about saying something but he did seem a little embarrassed after I said it wasn't easier so I'm hoping he learned a lesson. Hopefully before he chooses to have children lol
 
@vclr2010 Yeah I can understand not wanting to make a complaint. Hopefully this is one of those things he randomly thinks about for years and cringes at that motivates him not to mansplain birth to women who have given birth.
 
@vclr2010 So wild to make these kinds of comments generally, but when so many women have difficult feelings about having a child section it’s especially uncool.
 
@frankyb Ugh yes I cannot with women who say having a c-section means you didn't give birth. Like, we're all suffering here no matter how these kids came out, it's not a competition lol
 
@vclr2010 What an idiot. I had vaginal births myself, but when I was in nursing school I watched a C-section and was scarred. The way they heave on the body and how many layers they cut. Absolutely nothing about that is easy!
 
@trinity47 And you're awake during the whole thing! It's the most bizarre feeling, you can't really feel anything other than pressure and you can't see anything but you know they're down there just slicing away lol
 
@vclr2010 For me I was numb up to my chest and felt them rifling through my insides. It wasn’t painful but it was very, very uncomfortable because I knew what they were doing. My husband knows how bad it was after having a c-section because he had to help clean my wound & walk with me for a while. Walking and feeling gravity pull down on your scar ffffffml. So I agree - c-section is not the easy route and some men need to learn when to just shut their mouths.

Also - daughter is 3 and I still can’t feel my lower abdomen. It’s completely numb.
 
@vintergaek My oldest is 21 and I can't feel it still. Have had two emergency c sections, appendix out, gall bladder out and a hysterectomy. I don't thunk people have any clue how much this shit will always effect our bodies. The cutting open of the muscles and just the actual structure. The scar tissue and the fact that my body literally has been changed by science. Don't get me wrong, I am glad my kiddos are alive and me as well but yeah. Also, report that Dr. That shit isn't ok.
 
@vclr2010 Urgh.. just fuck off men like this.

Yes weeks of recovery and a terrifying surgery was much easier than pushing 🫣.

I was in there for ages (6 days) being induced and then rushed off to c-section, meanwhile woman came and went pushing out their healthy babies, I’m happy for them I really am, but one woman was wheeled in with her beautiful baby, and left a few hours later walking and talking happy as can be. I am pleased for her and also hate her a little bit because I wanted to be her.

Meanwhile my legs are still numb they said if I tried to stand I could break them and I was covered in blood and guts terrified I’d break in two if I so much as twitched wrong. Plus it was Covid so my partner couldn’t stay to help look after our baby so I just desperately tried to not drop him from sheer exhaustion bc when I’d put him down he’d cry. when the nurse tried to help and failed she gave him back to me and walked off. I spent the night holding him terrified to nod off pinching myself to stay awake and trying to nurse as much as I could.

Worst time of my life ever. But sure mr man.. it’s the easier way out. Let’s rip open your tummy and see what’s inside eh?

Got damn ptsd after having my son tbh. Hospitals make me so on edge now and I can’t sleep in them. Had to do an overnight for my son, who is now fine and I was awake the entire night just holding him or pacing and listening to the beeps or machines and nurses in the hall. I go all twitchy at the idea of going back and it made my anxiety so much worse.

Plus they couldn’t find a vein and it took no less than 9 tries to get a needle into me for the IV for fluids and the spinal tap for the c section took forever bc I couldn’t stop shaking. Had my partner not literally held me together with his arms I think I’d be in a nut house.

Actually typing all this out makes me wonder why I’m considering a second. Why do woman do this shit willingly 😓
 
@katrina2017 Omg you went through so much! I'm so sorry you had such a traumatic experience, both mine were pretty "routine" so I could not imagine having complications plus friggen COVID on top of everything else, that sounds like a nightmare.
 
@vclr2010 You know, I believed that it was.

My (narcissistic) mother filled my head with all kinds of nonsense. By the time I was an adult, I'd pretty much figured out that every word out of her mouth was an exaggeration or lie, but when I became pregnant (planned, tried for 9 months) her voice flooded back like it was one of my own thoughts. And if Mom thought a c-section was easy, then I just wouldn't have one. After all, I was determined to do everything the opposite from what she'd shown me, and she had a c-section. From that point on, a surgical birth was completely out of the realm of possibility for me.

I'll fast-forward a bit; my first labour started on its own, and I fought like hell against drugs because I wanted to "prove" something. I ended up with an emergency c-section after my team realized that we were looking at a partial abruption. I sobbed horrifically as they rushed me to the OR because I thought I was such a failure.

It was the catalyst for years of PPD, I had wanted my second birth to be VBAC but ended up with another section, then we had a traumatic loss, then I gave up and just scheduled my 3rd months in advance.

One of my surgical births was easier than the others, but none of them have actually been easy. The recovery has consistently been hell for me, and 2 out of 3 deliveries had complications that could have cost me my life. It wasn't the easy way, it was the only way.
 
@evenios I'm in the PPD club too, isn't it fun? And yes you're correct, it almost always is the only way. I'm sure some women choose to schedule a C-section for their first birth, but I feel like that's pretty rare. It's usually a complication - in my case with my oldest he was frank breech and would not turn no matter what they did. I was frank breech when I was born and they didn't know, so my mom ended up having an emergency c. Trying to birth my son naturally would have ended up the same way and I was not about that life lol. At least I had a heads up I guess 😆
 
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