Update: is it inappropriate for a 17 year old girl to be friends with a 27 year old man?

[nunpui]

@10wawa10 Yeah, I get that, but you must remember that he is your coworker first and foremost, and your friend second. Although hangingout with coworkers can be pretty normal, watching a movie one-on-one with a coworker can come off as flirtatious and sort of like a date, which would explain his hesitancy for wanting to do something like that with you, a minor, and especially so since he is engaged.

It would look very bad on him as an engaged adult, to be spending alone time with an underage coworker

 

[10wawa10]

@nunpui What if his fiancee came along or my parents met them?

I don’t have (m)any friends and it’s unusual for me to connect with people since you pretty much have to like movies to interact with me (autism sucks) and he’s one of the only people outside of the family who actually seems to enjoy speaking with me and can withstand me :/

 

[nunpui]

@10wawa10 Yeah, I think if his fiancee joins in on the movie watching, then it really wouldn't be much of a problem It would look less inappropriate on his end, plus sometimes watching movies with more people can be more fun! More people to discuss it with afterwards and whatnot!

 

[rekiii]

@10wawa10 Personalizing can be a thinking error, he’s actually doing the right thing here. You won’t have to feel that way when age difference becomes insignificant. Find a way to appreciate his decision and not take it as rejection.

 

[katrina2017]

@10wawa10 I think his response gave all the green flags you need. If it's okay with all the parties, I think you should go for it! Don't let other people judge or tell you what to do or not to do. I hope you guys have a good time

 

[midnightsky]

@10wawa10 Don’t feel stupid! His response was actually super wholesome because a lot of men would have taken advantage in that situation. I don’t think it’s odd to be work buddies, but it doesn’t seem like a 17 year old and a 27 year old would or should have a lot in common—so in that sense it would be strange to hang out outside of work. If you decide to hang out anyways, you could always invite a third friend along

 

[10wawa10]

@midnightsky We both love movies so I’d love to see one with him

 

[kaykay8]

@10wawa10 I think he sounded perfectly appropriate and reasonable - honestly it was the most mature answer you can expect

And it makes the most sense as well!

Maybe if you have the fiancée as a chaperone and talk to your parents it might be fun

 

[casew]

@10wawa10 In that post people recommended that you keep your friendship at work only, because that would be most appropriate, so I am surprised that you asked him to go to a movie.

 

[10wawa10]

@casew I’ve seen my coworkers go to the movies before, I didn’t think it was any different

 

[casew]

@10wawa10 But people told you it was different, so what was the point of asking here about what you should do?

 

[10wawa10]

@casew I don’t know. He’s the only friend I’ve made in a very long time and it just really sucks I can’t hang out with him

 

[casew]

@10wawa10 That's life. Be happy you have a friend at work. Some friendships aren't portable. This is one.

 

[maniac07]

@10wawa10 Would you sleep with him?

 

[10wawa10]

@maniac07 Wtf?

 

[bringmehome]

@10wawa10 Thank you for the chuckle. And that’s just Reddit. Like they read that before. The first times they were empathetic, but the stories somehow repeat themselves and they get jaded and sometimes condescending because the concept of new people joining, who don’t share the context of having read it all is somehow unexpected.

 

[dm1413]

@10wawa10 No

 

[readingjames]

@10wawa10 Yes