katrina2017
New member
@opinionsareopinions 23 month old cosleep, no sleep training, exclusively nursed entire time and to sleep etc and she slept through the night after a year.
What happens if I never sleep train my baby?
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@opinionsareopinions I've never heard of sleep training in my country. It's not a thing at all. So, I'm pretty sure you'll be fine.
@opinionsareopinions I never sleep trained my nearly 8 year old and she's happily tucked in her bed with our dog right now. Never did with my toddler (who is also snoozing in her bed) and won't with my infant either.
I didn't realize when I was in the thick of it, but sleep training/CIO isn't a one-and-done solution. All kids' sleep habits go in phases and the only constant is change (teething, a cold, travel, holidays, etc).
If you don't sleep train, it will be perfectly fine.
I didn't realize when I was in the thick of it, but sleep training/CIO isn't a one-and-done solution. All kids' sleep habits go in phases and the only constant is change (teething, a cold, travel, holidays, etc).
If you don't sleep train, it will be perfectly fine.
@opinionsareopinions I'm assuming you're American? I think part of what is worth thinking about is what your ultimate goal is. Like most American kids ultimately sleep in their own rooms or share with a sibling, but not with parents. Is this your goal too?
I'm in India where most kids sleep in the same bed or at least the same room as their parents until preteen years. No one stresses about it because there is no cultural pressure to have kids sleep seperately. I grew up in the US and so had my own room for some years as a kid. My husband in his 40 years of life has never regularly slept alone.
That being said, plenty of Indian parents do "sleep train" their children though they might not call it that. They stop nursing to sleep or rocking to sleep. There's cultural pressure not so contact naps early on as people think it builds bad habits.
I'm in India where most kids sleep in the same bed or at least the same room as their parents until preteen years. No one stresses about it because there is no cultural pressure to have kids sleep seperately. I grew up in the US and so had my own room for some years as a kid. My husband in his 40 years of life has never regularly slept alone.
That being said, plenty of Indian parents do "sleep train" their children though they might not call it that. They stop nursing to sleep or rocking to sleep. There's cultural pressure not so contact naps early on as people think it builds bad habits.
audreyjk169
New member
@opinionsareopinions You can respond to her cries and still hold the boundary of them sleeping in their own space. Thats what I did. No sleep training, but we never bedshared. Nothing against it, I just wasn’t comfortable with it and I also didn’t want the habit to break in the future. I was consistent and always responded to cries and it was tough for a while but eventually she learned that she was perfectly fine and safe in her own space.
She started STTN with no wakes around 12 months. I nursed to sleep for every nap and night until about 18 months she decided she didn’t want to nurse to sleep anymore. She would just pop off the boob and point to her bed and I’d put her down awake. At 20 months that’s our routine and she sleeps through the night.
Obviously every kid is different but there seems to be this all or nothing approach to sleep training vs bedsharing. You don’t have to choose between bedsharing/nursing all night or leaving your baby to cry. You can still hold gentle loving boundaries if you choose to
She started STTN with no wakes around 12 months. I nursed to sleep for every nap and night until about 18 months she decided she didn’t want to nurse to sleep anymore. She would just pop off the boob and point to her bed and I’d put her down awake. At 20 months that’s our routine and she sleeps through the night.
Obviously every kid is different but there seems to be this all or nothing approach to sleep training vs bedsharing. You don’t have to choose between bedsharing/nursing all night or leaving your baby to cry. You can still hold gentle loving boundaries if you choose to
@opinionsareopinions Mine both started sleeping through the night around 15 months, which coincided with learning to walk. Zero sleep training.
@opinionsareopinions I'm not planning to sleep train. She doesn't sleep through the night yet but she sleeps the whole night besides very short wakes for a quick drink. I'm sure she'll be sleeping through in a couple of years and so far we're managing just fine.
@opinionsareopinions Well you will be in my situation-
It is 11pm and my 3 year old is watching Curb Your Enthusiasm with me and my husband because after 4 hours we don’t have the energy to put her back in her bed
It is 11pm and my 3 year old is watching Curb Your Enthusiasm with me and my husband because after 4 hours we don’t have the energy to put her back in her bed
livinginabsolution
New member
@opinionsareopinions My 7 year old still finds her way to my bed every single night. I literally don’t know if I should have sleep trained or what.
moelarrycurly
New member
@opinionsareopinions You don't have to do anything different. We had a really bad sleeper, she still eventually STTN it just took 2 years. But I do not regret my choices to never sleep train even though it was really tough to get through it. I feel better that I did what was best for my child.
@opinionsareopinions They just learn to sleep, and you cry a lot less.
I have 2 healthy and great sleepers (4 & 8) to prove it
I have 2 healthy and great sleepers (4 & 8) to prove it
judyperalta
New member
@opinionsareopinions We have to rock our 16 month old to sleep but then it's usually OK. Occasional night wakings but I couldn't bring myself to sleep train
dixiegospel
New member
@opinionsareopinions My 3yr old was never sleep trained. Bedshared most the time. Now, since he was 2y 3~months he falls asleep anywhere he's comfy if he's tired. Do not worry about it. Keep you and baby happy
@opinionsareopinions I used to stress constantly that my kid would never sleep if I didn’t sleep train her. There’s lots of people out there with the opinion that sleep training is like potty training, they won’t sleep if you don’t show them “how”. Idk I just stuck with what I felt like doing (which was cuddling my kiddo to sleep) because there’s no way she’s going to need me to rock her to sleep in high school
Sleep drastically improved for us around like 14 months. She usually wakes up only once a night now at 18 months, usually somewhere between 10-12 so sometimes I’m even still awake to put her back to bed. And after that one wake she stays soundly asleep until about 5:30 (wish it was later, she used to sleep until 6:30 but oh well lol). Obviously she has nights where she is up more but she does occasionally just stay asleep all night so
I do think I’m lucky because I know another mom for example who had a child who woke up a handful of times a night until she was 3. But they will sleep eventually, every kid is different, whether it’s at 6 months or 4 years. You just kinda gotta wait and see, which can feel like torture sometimes when they aren’t sleeping 
but personally I was glad I never gave into the stress and sleep trained because I didn’t really need to.
There are lots of “gentle” things you can do to help your kiddo. A good bedtime routine CANNOT be understated. Scent is surprisingly incredibly tied into our psyche (think of all the warm, Christmasy feelings you get when you smell gingerbread!) so one of my favorite things to do is give my toddler a massage with good smelling lotion before putting on her pajamas. Toddlers especially THRIVE with routine so I do the same things in the same order every night, and by the time we lay down to cuddle, she’s already half asleep and just passes right out lol. I have a song I sing her every night and when she hears it she closes her eyes right away. As you move into toddlerhood I would definitely nail down a solid bedtime routine you both enjoy if you haven’t already.
Sleep drastically improved for us around like 14 months. She usually wakes up only once a night now at 18 months, usually somewhere between 10-12 so sometimes I’m even still awake to put her back to bed. And after that one wake she stays soundly asleep until about 5:30 (wish it was later, she used to sleep until 6:30 but oh well lol). Obviously she has nights where she is up more but she does occasionally just stay asleep all night so
I do think I’m lucky because I know another mom for example who had a child who woke up a handful of times a night until she was 3. But they will sleep eventually, every kid is different, whether it’s at 6 months or 4 years. You just kinda gotta wait and see, which can feel like torture sometimes when they aren’t sleeping but personally I was glad I never gave into the stress and sleep trained because I didn’t really need to. There are lots of “gentle” things you can do to help your kiddo. A good bedtime routine CANNOT be understated. Scent is surprisingly incredibly tied into our psyche (think of all the warm, Christmasy feelings you get when you smell gingerbread!) so one of my favorite things to do is give my toddler a massage with good smelling lotion before putting on her pajamas. Toddlers especially THRIVE with routine so I do the same things in the same order every night, and by the time we lay down to cuddle, she’s already half asleep and just passes right out lol. I have a song I sing her every night and when she hears it she closes her eyes right away. As you move into toddlerhood I would definitely nail down a solid bedtime routine you both enjoy if you haven’t already.
momof2napril
New member
@opinionsareopinions While we never coslept I had to rock her to sleep every night until recently. She’s now 27 months, and I’d say around 2 it changed from rocking to sleep to I could put her in her bed and rub her back. Now I can put her down sleepy and leave the room.
@opinionsareopinions I’ve never sleep trained my 18 month old and she sometimes sleeps through, sometimes needs to get in our bed or my husband gets on her floor bed with her. It would be easier to have a baby/toddler who slept through but nothing guarantees that even sleep training and I’m fine with it, she will grow out of it eventually I bet and will sleep through more but whatever gets the most sleep for the most people without stress is best for now in my view.
I was a bit fearful of the future when I was supporting my baby to sleep so much but it’s fine. Not totally easy but definitely sustainable.
I was a bit fearful of the future when I was supporting my baby to sleep so much but it’s fine. Not totally easy but definitely sustainable.
lemons2lemonade
New member
@opinionsareopinions I never sleep trained. She is is just shy of 1.5 but sleeps through the night. She might want to come into our bed halfway through the night but we don't mind. She sleeps 8-7 most nights and has around 2 hours nap a day, sometimes less. We do still room share though.
katrina2017
New member
@opinionsareopinions They sleep like every other kid their age.
@opinionsareopinions I didn’t sleep train either of my kids. My oldest slept through the night at 14 months and my youngest at 10 months. All babies will learn to sleep on their own whether they are trained or not.