I (21f) just got a kyleena iud and I’m not attracted to my boyfriend(22m). Is this a normal thing that happens?

@charmaine93 I got the kyleena about two years ago, my libido hasn't changed but I notice when I'm closer to getting my period I get moody and angry for no reason, are you about to get your period?
 
@charmaine93 I can empathize, I've been on Annovera for almost two months and I do not want sex any more. I miss being actually wanting my boyfriend instead of lying there and getting it over with so that he doesn't feel neglected- bc he's horny 24/7. He's been so patient with how badly the hormones are affecting me.
 
@charmaine93 Do you have sex every time you hangout? It could be that because you have a lower sex drive now, that you don’t want to spend time with him because you know it usually leads to sex and aren’t interested. Was the sex what made him attractive to you, and now that you don’t want to it changed for you?
 
@charmaine93 My libido was completely gone with the kyleena and I didn’t realize that was the cause until I had it out last year and switched to the pill. But I still wanted to hang with my bf I just never wanted to have sex.

My advice is- reevaluate and consider how you truly feel about him. I felt at one point I used to put a lot of weight on sex in my relationships so when I was feeling not into it, I would feel pretty bad about myself and enter into like cave cricket mode. I can’t not hang with my bf, we live together but I just was cranky and bitchy a lot because inside I had anxiety about whether or not he would still love me for feeling not into sex that much. Make sure you’re not playing tricks on yourself. And if you feel weird, explain to him what’s going on.
 
@charmaine93 I’m going to be the odd man out here, because I’ve had a similar situation (still trying to navigate). I absolutely believe kyleena affects attraction. 7 months ago, I got engaged to a man who I am head over heels for. 6 & 1/2 months ago I got kyleena (I had never had an iud before, wanted to switch from severe depression inducing pills). Within 3 weeks of having kyleena, I started becoming more negative and uninterested in my relationship. Within 3 months, I feel like my entire relationship has changed, and it’s all on me. It’s not just my relationship with my fiance - it’s even with my dog who has been driving me insane (very odd for me, as I’m in the veterinary field). I recently had a conversation with someone else on here who has shared a very similar experience to mine as well.

Birth control might not change attraction directly, but it changes libido and hormones. When you’re moody (due to hormones), sometimes it affects attraction… so therefore in my opinion, yes. It absolutely can. 🤷🏼‍♀️

In my situation, I strongly feel it’s my hormones messing up things. I don’t feel like I’m the same person as a whole. I feel like a soulless shell of a human honestly. My depression is better, per se, because I just have no feelings. I’m just a stone cold biotch right now.

Anyways, that’s my personal feeling. It’s truly different for everyone. With everything I’ve felt change through birth control trials, I truly believe it’s at fault for and can do more than we think to our feelings and emotions. Maybe not directly, but indirectly still leads to the same area. I’m planning on hopefully switching either back to pill (I’d rather be depressed and on meds than whatever this is), or trying a different type of iud.

Birth control f*king sucks, my dude

Edit:
I will add that I’m also inclined to agree with others on re-evaluating your relationship with it being so new. Only you know yourself, and sometimes that’s a challenge on its own. Go with your gut. List out the reasons why you don’t want to be around him. If you can’t give yourself a good argument, you might have your answer as to what’s really causing the disinterest.
 
@charmaine93 There has been research out there that birth control changes your attraction to men, but none of it has a lot of backing. While anecdotally people have said that, i dont think it happens too often. Your body might just be getting used to the hormonal changes which can affect your mood more generally. IUDs are also uncomfortable and can feel a little strange at first, the last thing i wanted to do for weeks was have sex because the iud felt a little weird initially.
 
@charmaine93 Anyone saying this can't happen doesn't understand how different every woman is and how we can be affected by different hormones. This can happen. You are the only person who can evaluate if it's the birth control or the relationship itself, though. But it could also be anhedonia because mental health changes with hormonal fluctuations.
 
@charmaine93 It’s not going to change who you are attracted to but might make you lose interest in doing things in general. It can make you depressed or lower libido. I wouldn’t worry about it
 
@charmaine93 Birth control does have an effect on the men you are attracted to! I suggest reading “This is your Brain on Birth Control” by Sarah Hill. She talks about the effects of birth control on libido and on the men we chose as partners. It’s a very interesting read and very eye opening!
 
@charmaine93 This is literally a thing that happens!!!! Birth control straight up does affect what you find attractive. You can google it. I’ve always been scared to take birth control for this reason, what if I meet someone on it and stop taking it to have a kid and realize I’m disgusted with them?? Sounds terrible.

Although I just googled it and it seems like there’s conflicting evidence. Saw at least one study saying that isn’t true. I personally just noticed such a massive change in how I felt and experienced the world that I fully believe it would happen to me, so ymmv.
 
@charmaine93 Well, I feel as though I was a case that could be similar to yours I was in a relationship years back where the man was fixed We no longer are together, and I met my current husband to make a long story short I had gotten pregnant and prior to that I was never on birth control so for eight years Right after my pregnancy I was told I had to be on some thing by the doctors so my first try was the one in my arm then I went to an IUD during those times I have never felt so crazy as I did when I was on birth control. My anxiety was so high. I couldn’t control it. I was on anxiety meds my weight was everywhere and I was on so many different medication‘s and nothing was helping. I constantly kept the birth control and they told me just about every excuse in the book practically calling me crazy for even considering such things. The symptoms got worse and worse and worse on top of the fact that I take things for degenerative disease, I finally told them I was done and made them take it out. Come to find out the IUD wasn’t even in the right spot. It was removed almost all of that ball of motion that was stuck in my chest and hatred and discussed for sex and men and just about anything because I was unhappy with myself I needed someone else to blame all that, it was a different person. My husband was I was shocked and they still say to this day that’s not why and I need to get on something and I told him basically to kiss my ass. I will never do that again and I’ve never been a ball of emotions to the point where I couldn’t even control them that was scary! You know your body and maybe even ask your man if he notices anything also. But don’t let anyone tell you it’s all in your head. my doctor use the analogy of hemp lotion 🙄She said the amount of hemp is so little ( like the iud hormones) it can’t cause side effects like that and I said huh… that’s funny cause I know people allergic to hemp…… she didn’t respond.
 
@charmaine93 Look up Sophia Panella on instagram or Tik tok. She’s made a few videos and posts talking about how she lost her sex drive when she had the Mirena IUD, and how it affected her relationship with her boyfriend. But when she got it removed she said her libido went back up again
 
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