What happens if I never sleep train my baby?

[intensecatharsis]

@cubcadetlover I'm so sorry. I agree with the other response that you need some sleep, both for you and your child. I will throw out there that some research suggests that sleep training (even modified CIO) in the context of an otherwise loving and attuned relationship does not seem to cause long-term harm to the attachment relationship, especially if it's accomplished quickly. So, if you have to, you have to. I also know a mom whose kid was doing so much of this and at least for them, sharing a floor bed and then mom gradually moving onto a separate bed, and then out of the room, was helpful. I think they also got one of those projectors that put stars on the ceiling, which her daughter found soothing and distracted her from mom's body. But every kid is different. You know what you and your family need and what is best for your kid. I hope you can also prioritize you

 

[sara57]

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[patona]

@intensecatharsis How did you transition into his own bed? Was it in your room?

 

[intensecatharsis]

@patona When he was about 12 months, we would put him into his own bed in his room and then at his first wake-up, I would bring him to our bed. At about 18 months, my husband put a cot in the baby's room and slept next to him. Whenever the baby woke up, my husband would comfort him and get him back to bed. After about a week, the baby didn't expect to leave his room anymore, so he would roll over and go back to sleep. Side note: not being responsible for any wake-ups for the first time in 18 months was the best sleep I had had since the baby was born and I got to see what "dad sleep" is like; it blew my mind

 

[patona]

@intensecatharsis I am so resentful of dad sleep right now…
Thank you for sharing. I’ve tried night weaning, but maybe a separate bed is a good step to try next (mine is 20 months)…

 

[intensecatharsis]

@patona I feel you so much. I was literally shocked at how well my husband must have been sleeping that whole time, not conditioning himself to wake up for the baby. The resentment is so real. I hope you find a good pathway for your family! Kids are so different, but moving him into his own bed gradually was really positive for us (though I did miss him sometimes). For whatever reason, once he had a bed instead of a crib, he was much calmer and happier in there.

 

[anceadcathach]

@opinionsareopinions They will sleep. Check out Hey Sleepy Baby on Instagram. There are so so many babies who are never sleep trained and can sleep on their own just fine. Sleep is a biological function, not a skill that needs to be trained.

My son is a bit over 2. He puts himself to sleep in his crib after a few minutes of snuggling with mom/dad. He was always nursed/rocked to sleep and we always responded to his needs throughout the night (including periodsof bedsharing). There are some nights where he asks us to stay/needs support to fall asleep and we do so. He knows that we're close by and he can always count on us to come when he needs us.

 

[kimrossie]

@anceadcathach Second HeySleepyBaby. She’s amazing.

I didn’t sleep train my son. For the first year, he slept like crap. Up 2-6 times a night with no end in sight for us. Coslept, rocked to sleep, nursed to sleep, all the stuff you’re told not to do because it’ll make “bad habits”

A day after he turned 13 months, he started sleeping through the night, and still does at 24 months old. Barring any sickness or teething, he’s totally fine on his own. We changed absolutely nothing. So even though we responded every single night for a year, he just figured it out one day and stopped signaling at night.

They will when they can. You DONT have to sleep train, I promise.

 

[dixiegospel]

@anceadcathach Exactly this. My 3yr old was never sleep trained. Bedshared most the time. Now, since he was 2y 3~months he falls asleep anywhere he's comfy if he's tired. Do not worry about it. Keep you and baby happy.

 

[cubcadetlover]

@anceadcathach HSB offers encouragement and solidarity, but no real method

 

[ponygals]

@opinionsareopinions Can't say, our 18 month old is not out of his 8 month regression yet

 

[anceadcathach]

@ponygals I swear the whole first 2 years is basically a constant sleep "regression"

 

[christophersnyder]

@anceadcathach I feel this because every time it seems to get better and we get a little break, we regress again.
Everyone says oh first year is hard… what about the second year?!

 

[ponygals]

@christophersnyder It's also hard, but they don't want to scare us, apparently!

 

[graidon]

@opinionsareopinions I think sleep training is an American thing? The older generation is my country is all about letting babies cry, but it is never spoken of as sleep training.

Although a couple of years ago sleep coaches found their way to the Netherlands. But from what i understand, they are focused more on eliminating disturbing factors like sleep hygiene and wake windows and sorts.

And in the end, the babies over here find a way to sleep without sleep training .

 

[funmilayo]

@opinionsareopinions Very few people sleep train here in Scandinavia, plus feeding to sleep is totally normal here, as is bed sharing. And yet, our kids learn how to sleep too! The common wisdom is their night time sleep improves massively when they stop napping during the day, and we definitely saw that with our first.

 

[penaia]

@funmilayo At what age did you stop the napping?

 

[funmilayo]

@penaia He was quite high sleep needs, so he couldn’t handle a full day without a nap until he was 3.5. And we had to move his bedtime earlier by an hour when he did drop it! My second will drop her nap much earlier, I can already tell, she was down to one nap much earlier than her older brother (she’s 1.5).

 

[katrina2017]

@opinionsareopinions She wont need sleeping pills. I was sleep trained and now require sleeping pills at a dose of an elephant (my drs words) because i cannot sleep. I literally cannot because my anxiety regarding sleep is off the roof (again my dr's words).

Soothe your baby.

 

[lightsaber]

@katrina2017 I wonder how common this is. I was sleep trained and have always had anxiety around sleep til I was married and had someone to share a bed with consistently. I remember waking at night as a kid and sneaking into my parents or siblings room to sleep. I'd say its not biologically appropriate to sleep alone. Again soothe your baby.