What happens if I never sleep train my baby?

[nowisi]

@717augustin Okay finally someone says it! Even gentle sleep training requires letting your child cry and be upset. I thought I was losing my mind. Everyone says I want to sleep train but nit cry it out and I'm like okay... but you will still be letting your child cry?

 

[hopelesslylost67]

@opinionsareopinions They grow out of it. It’s all developmentally normal. I know it’s hard at the time, but they do learn to sleep on their own.

 

[elainegoodwin]

@opinionsareopinions My baby started rejecting her crib at 8/9 months old just like yours. After a couple weeks of having her end up in our bed every night, we switched her to a floor bed. I would nurse her and lie with her till she fell asleep then I’d leave. She’s 16 months now and we still love the floor bed! I won’t even bother with a crib when we have another baby. Will just switch from sidecar bassinet straight to floor bed.

 

[ocdforjesus]

@elainegoodwin We did the same! So much easier.

She was old enough to roll and sit up easily and confidently, and we were in our bed right next to her so could hear if anything went wrong. We gave her a border of pillows so she couldn't accidentally roll off or into the wall crack, but could easily crawl out if she woke up all the way.

We also made sure it had blankets and pillows for MAMA too!

 

[elainegoodwin]

@ocdforjesus Yes! We have a mesh bed rail that kept her from rolling off the bed before she learned her limits, but isn’t high enough for her to climb over it and fall. Her floor bed is up against our bed frame on the other side, so she’s right next to me at night.
It’s great because we each have our own space but in the morning she sneaks up into our bed for some cuddles before we get up. We love it!

 

[amyrusso1013]

@opinionsareopinions We did not sleep train (I have some childhood trauma that made it impossible). At about 18 months my daughter moved to her room. Now around 3.5 she sleeps ~11 hours overnight alone in her bed with zero wake ups. She was mostly done with overnight wake ups by the age of two.

 

[jennifer86]

@opinionsareopinions I have a 6 year old and a 1 year old. Sleep training did not work on the 6 year old. He would scream for eternity and my heart couldn’t take it. He’s still super snuggly. For bedtime he loves it when we snuggle him to sleep. If I can we do that but if not he can fall asleep on his own. I kind of sleep trained the 1 year old. She would never cry for more than 10min. Currently I nurse to sleep and put her in the crib. If she wakes in the night I will breastfeed her and set her back down. Sometimes she will start screaming then 2min later she’s asleep. I don’t let her cry for more than that. If she wakes after 4am I bring her to bed with me and cosleep until morning.

 

[gloriainexcelsisdeo]

@opinionsareopinions They get it eventually. Never sleep trained and totally failed at the crib. Ending up doing a floor bed instead. We got eartubes at around 16 months and then like magic he started sleeping through the night- turns out the ear infections were making sleep uncomfortable.

 

[heyitseli]

@opinionsareopinions Are you me? Currently have an 8 month old who has decided she will only sleep with me in bed and also nurses basically all night. This post was very validating. I literally said to my partner last night (stuck on the couch bc of her sleepovers) do we sleep train and then I wanted to cry so not happening. She also has what appears to be night terrors which have not been fun, my poor baby.

 

[adalia89]

@opinionsareopinions I was listening to This American Life a couple weeks ago and the episode was asking kids when they realized their parents were humans and didn’t have all the answers or were superheroes, etc.

The one 12ish year old said he had a nightmare or something when he was ~6 years old~ and couldn’t get either of his parents attention. They were sleeping too hard. He said it was the first time he realized he was on his own in life and he can’t rely on anyone to be there for him.

A 6 year old said that.

Do the sleep training people think the younger kids don’t feel that?? Are toddlers fish??

Yes I know they determined fish also have feelings recently lol.

Anyway that episode of TAL broke my freaking heart and I’ve held my kid even tighter since then.

 

[elimatt]

@opinionsareopinions They will eventually sleep. Never sleep trained and my 3 year old sleeps around 11 hours on her own every night. We read her books, she climbs in bed, we cuddle her and she holds one of our hands for 5 mins until she is asleep. It's really not as painful as my sleep training friends make it out to be (they are horrified I don't leave the room before she is asleep).

 

[lovechrist4eva]

@opinionsareopinions Never sleep trained. Had some ups and downs, but told my 2 year old you sleep in your room now and she’s been sleeping through the night in her room for 6 months. She did have a nightmare once, and was terrified, so my husband let her sleep with us, but that was last week and it didn’t restart the habit.

 

[blackmanlov]

@lovechrist4eva My 2.75 yo still bed shares with us. She's got terrible night terrors

Happy to support her but hopeful she grows out of it soon.

 

[reallivegirl]

@blackmanlov Do either you or your partner have night terrors?
I’ve had them as long as I can remember and still do (cPTSD related) and I’m noticing my daughter does too and it makes me feel like I somehow passed them on from the womb lol.

 

[blackmanlov]

@reallivegirl Nope! It effects 2% of children, I believe.

There are some tricks you can try if you notice they happen at the same time each night like waking your child briefly before that time for a drink of water or something and going back to bed. Supposedly, that can help them fade quicker.

All that said, the research just points to them being developmental and disappearing with age for children at least.

 

[ezekielcdm]

@opinionsareopinions We never sleep trained and my 20 month old started just randomly sleeping 10-11 hours every night at 18 months old. Barring any medical reasons, kids eventually figure out how to sleep. Do what feels best for you and your family

 

[andee]

@opinionsareopinions Most of the world doesn't sleep train. I never did. I co slept and nursed to sleep and when my daughter turned 2 she started sleeping through the night and putting herself to sleep. It definitely all evens out in the toddler years and doesn't seem to matter whether or not you sleep trained (attachment issues aside but I wont get into that now).

 

[sictek]

@opinionsareopinions At three my toddler sleeps through the night almost every night unless he's sick or needs a glass of water. I feed him to sleep, but I can tell he's slowly getting less attached to that- sometimes he will nurse a little bit and then roll over to fall asleep. We've never done any kind of sleep training and don't plan to.

 

[pak]

@opinionsareopinions I don't know what your daughter will do as she is her own person. But we never sleep trained our kid and he spontaneously started sleeping through at 14-15 months. He's never slept much, but he sleeps really well. He's nearly 3 now and we stay in the room until he sleeps but he falls asleep by himself in his bed. We've followed his lead on sleep every step of the way. Good luck!

 

[thecup]

@opinionsareopinions They will sleep.

Sleep training isn’t a “thing” in many other parts of the world and people are fine lol.