What are the best phrases you never thought you’d have to say?

[peggyo]

@kaylank92 Stop peeing on your brother!!! Don't feed the dog your poop!

Edit to add: these were about an hour apart...

 

[wewg5490]

@peggyo only an hour?

 

[bruinsfan37]

@peggyo I’m chuckling, thank you

This week we’ve had:

“Look down, do you see what’s going on here? Your penis is sticking out of your underwear, we gotta fix that dude!”

And

“I know there’s ‘poops in the butt,’ I’ve been smelling you farting all morning”

 

[hawk7071]

@peggyo A whole hour?

 

[harleen]

@kaylank92 “I don’t care what color that dinosaur is, put down the toothpaste and pull up your pants!”

 

[preachersmama]

@kaylank92 My favorite was

“you can’t take the lawn mower down the slide”

I was in fact wrong

 

[preciouslv4me]

@kaylank92 Well, there are lots. But nothing really compares to the time I had to practically sit on my littlest and fish a squirrel turd out of her mouth and also carefully clean her teeth while she expressed her very strong objections to me doing so.

 

[ignoranceisbliss]

@preciouslv4me My initial read of this skipped over the word "turd" and I was envisioning a toddler with a whole squirrel in her mouth. I think I would be impressed more than anything else.

 

[katrina2017]

@kaylank92 “As a rule, we don’t eat things that came out of our bodies.”

(Got backsass about breast milk. Someone’s always gotta be right.)

 

[imalreadydann]

@kaylank92 Don't lick the cat.

 

[agios_triados]

@imalreadydann Eeeeeey. That's mine too!

 

[lizzielou]

@kaylank92 "No library books in the bathtub"

 

[unwantedbygod]

@kaylank92 I used to say that I would never be a "because I said so" parent. And I'm not. I say "because those are the rules" instead. I made the rules.

It means the same thing.

 

[thephilosophizer]

@unwantedbygod The distinction is actually quite important, I feel.

 

[cruzer]

@thephilosophizer Yup, especially as the children grow they can help set/agree to rules, but they will never agree with what you said

 

[unwantedbygod]

@cruzer That is the end goal ... yes. Right now from my POV it "feels like the same thing" but it isn't.

 

[unwantedbygod]

@thephilosophizer Thanks for that, yeah from their point of view I agree - which is why I do it.

 

[jaheim]

@kaylank92 "why did you put your penis in pliers!?!"

 

[kaylank92]

@jaheim So…why did they lol that’s amazing

 

[jaheim]

@kaylank92 Who knows, ended up pinching his penis pretty good, got a nice blood blister. When we asked him why he did it, he had zero clue or explanation. He did, however, learn that penises and pliers don't go together.