What are the best phrases you never thought you’d have to say?

[heatingcool]

@kaylank92 “Stop putting your hands in my poo!”

 

[ignoranceisbliss]

@kaylank92 "Don't drink the bath water!" and "Stop playing with your sibling's butt!" come to mind, but one that cropped up recently was "Don't talk like your mother!" (I'm pretty level-headed and keep my language PG-13 at worst. She's hotter-tempered and swears like a sailor. It's... complicated.)

 

[sanchofirestorm]

@kaylank92 No, I don’t want to eat your fart.

 

[basestar]

@kaylank92 Don’t eat blade runner.

 

[printingray]

@kaylank92 No, you cannot run over the cat with your firetruck...

 

[kieran]

@kaylank92 “Don’t lick the dog’s nose” is my favorite.

 

[grace4ever]

@kaylank92 "Stop donating your dinner to the dog"

Our vet is already saying the pup is a few pounds too heavy, and my 3 year old just keeps enabling it.

 

[tpatrick]

@kaylank92 Get the bicycle OFF of the picnic table!

 

[scottskitten]

@kaylank92 Finish your video game before you eat your dessert!

 

[mnms4him]

@kaylank92 Stop jerking off the dog son.

 

[kaylank92]

@mnms4him Do I want to know?

 

[mnms4him]

@kaylank92 When my son was 1 and discovered his kung fu grip, he would grab my dogs honking wiener, and my dog being the deviant that he is, let him do it. He just stood there, licking his chops. Lol

 

[vlaseomont]

@kaylank92 Just the other day, I heard my wife yell, "XX do NOT drill your penis." Intrigued, I made my way over and found said son naked with his play toolset in hand

 

[sackclotharmor]

@kaylank92 Do not draw on the dog with a permanent marker. At least use chalk

 

[lacrimosa1995]

@sackclotharmor "At least use chalk" love it. Maybe i should try that cause he keeps trying with markers. Although...she has black fur so you dont see the marker. The chalk would show up. And probably make the problem much worse. It would be funny though... poor Puggy lol.

 

[sackclotharmor]

@lacrimosa1995 And unfortunately I once showed her how to make chalk dust, so she makes a pile, spreads it out with her hands and make hand prints all over the dog

 

[kolson65]

@kaylank92 "Don't lick mama's toes, baby." Equally, having to warn my FIL that she was making a go for his toes.

 

[lisedgmr]

@kaylank92 "Stop pulling on it that hard or you will circumcise yourself" we didn't get him circumcised amd some times he will just yank the fuck out of his foreskin

 

[togetherinchrist]

@kaylank92 No, we don't drink driveway water.

 

[usmprincess08]

@kaylank92 Do not bathe the cat in the toilet