What are the best phrases you never thought you’d have to say?

[orenz9002]

@sevenz Is that the book? I don't remember what the book was but yes it was a book originated idea.

 

[sevenz]

@orenz9002 Garfield. I remember it being a pretty central, or at least recurring, plot line in both the comics and the TV show.

 

[lizzielou]

@orenz9002 Oh no.

 

[lyllie]

@orenz9002 Wow. This one wins for me

 

[crr]

@orenz9002 Well organised, you’ve got a good one there

 

[ireneleevn]

@orenz9002 Every time one of my kids are in the cart at Costco i pull them around the cashier side and make sure they know ,"These are returns, no need to scan them.."

I get some good responses to...

"Costco has an amazing return policy!"

"You can return anything you aren't 100% satisfied with."

There is a bit of terror with the kids when the other person is totally complicit.

 

[smile_today]

@kaylank92 "Stop smacking your penis with the honey dipper"

 

[katia20]

@smile_today Ahh damn, this one got me. As a father who’s son recently came up to him and said “dad, LOOK! My wenis is standing up!” I’m assuming something like this is coming for me soon. He’s three BTW.

 

[cruzer]

@katia20 Mine's three as well and he won't ever let it be, he touches it, he plays with it, he ooooos about it being "so big". We've gotten him to understand that he can only play with it at home though so it's fine at other places but we do get the occasional "Can I look at my we is now?" when he wants to test that boundary.

It's a normal phase and he'll kinda get over it I guess

 

[scott007]

@kaylank92 "How did you poop into a cup?"

Context: 2yo son shit into one of those small neon kids cups and sat it in the middle of the bathroom. I was equally impressed and disgusted.

 

[johnybelievesinchrist]

@scott007 I love that this is “how” and not “why”

 

[scott007]

@johnybelievesinchrist It had to be. To get unnecessarily graphic, the ships mast had breached the cup but remained contained within the confines of the cup. It truly was a marvel.

 

[ericab]

@scott007 "daddy look!"

"oh... Wow. Go get your mother, she needs to see this."

 

[ericab]

@johnybelievesinchrist Well, poop goes in the bathroom.

 

[johnybelievesinchrist]

@ericab I didn’t ask where.

 

[ericab]

@johnybelievesinchrist Oh, I thought you meant "why did he place the cup of poop in the bathroom?"

... Cause thats where poop goes

 

[johnybelievesinchrist]

@ericab Lol no worries

 

[katia20]

@kaylank92 I always come back to this moment when this question is asked.

“DAUGHTER! Get the sock out of your butt!”

She had this weird habit of shoving one of her socks in between her little butt cheeks and laughing while she waddled around the house.

Man, life is weird.

 

[meursault]

@katia20 My daughter loved to wedge her underwear up her crack like a thong. I made the mistake of laughing at that the first time she did it. So she continued to do it for months.

 

[molinist]

@katia20 Thanks for the laugh; this definitely sounds like something my 2.5yo would do!