What are the best phrases you never thought you’d have to say?

[lovinggirl]

@kaylank92 Stop drinking booty soup! (Bath time)

 

[csindevelopment]

@kaylank92 No cars in jars. We don't throw hard things, we CAN throw soft things. Gentle with mama's boobies. Please don't spit oranges onto the couch, use the plate. No (toy) fish/cars/etc. in the toilet. Yes dada does have nipples. That's right, the wheels on the bus DO go round and round, all through the town....

 

[lacrimosa1995]

@csindevelopment Omg, the throwing thing! My kid is almost 2 and throwing is his new random thing. Boys got an arm on him but, dads not trying to buy a new tv lol. I'm working on the "not hard toys, throw soft toys (or the soft inflatable balls we have) and...it morks 75%. For that tossing spell. Then I have to remind him again. And again. And again. Lol. I'm debating on buying a nice sheet of plexiglass to put over my tv, just in case lol

 

[cruzer]

@lacrimosa1995 We had a rule that toys were allowed to be thrown as long as he:

A) do NOT throw it against someone

B) Only throw things into the sofa

So far it's been working surprisingly well, the kid is 3 now. Occasionally he will throw stuff at us if he's angry but that's often his last go to so its generally avoided.

 

[csindevelopment]

@cruzer I find that my son throws things out of excitement. Like he's just so into a car he throws it in the air, or down the stairs. He knows the rule, he just has impulse control issues like any toddler. So we just keep reinforcing as we go.

 

[charlie3rivers]

@kaylank92 “Yea, buddy. Daddy does have a penis. Yup, just like you. Mhmm.. mine is bigger…”

Bathtime, for context.

 

[lacrimosa1995]

@kaylank92 "Is that... shit? That's shit." My toddler has twice now handed me a turd. Then I asked "why did you hand daddy poop?" As im laughing and grabbing a diaper and wipes.

 

[christian16134]

@kaylank92 Today was “I’m sorry for laughing when you said you wanted to make bubbles come out your butt at bath time”

 

[geethasst]

@kaylank92 Nope, Daddies boobies don’t make milk.

 

[therealone]

@kaylank92 “DO NOT POKE THE CATS BUTTHOLE!”

 

[imacman9]

@therealone Our version was "BUTTIT!" which was how my (then toddler)daughter said "button" and thought the cat's butthole was his bellybutton.

She was about to poke the cat's "buttit" and we were struggling to stop laughing fast enough to say "Noooooooooo...."

 

[showuser01]

@kaylank92 My wife one day... "Brooklyn! Stop licking daddy's car!"

 

[acceptedfromabove]

@showuser01 Yea ours would kiss all the cars she saw for a while

 

[bruinsfan37]

@acceptedfromabove I’m cackling, this is great

 

[dougstyris]

@kaylank92 That’s not your mop. What it is with 18 months and wanting to clean?

 

[bruinsfan37]

@dougstyris Life hack: take the center pole price out of a regular swiffer & it’s kid’s sized, voila

 

[jsteel]

@kaylank92 A SINGLE time I said to our oldest “We don’t booty naked.” After dancing getting out of the tub at like age 3.

Now even years later they do it all the time as a joke.

 

[carlyanne]

@kaylank92 “where did you get chocolate from…oh wait that’s shit”

 

[rbr]

@kaylank92 “HEY!!! Don’t rub your pizza in your scab!!!!” While trying not to puke everywhere

 

[katrina2017]

@kaylank92 "Its ok I'll just blow on his asshole" Little one had some mean diaper rash briefly and wiping his bum made him cry, my wife was worried and so I said I'd dry it off by blowing on it. A trip to the store for some butt paste fixed him right up