Q+A Part 1: The Basics

[lissieee]

@gregp0072 Former! Hello!

 

[gregp0072]

@lissieee I saw in your other comment that you moved to the pacific northwest, how easy/hard was the move after living in Gville? That's where my SO and I are looking at ending up, I hate the heat here, but I'm worried there will be something I didn't consider weather wise (other than the rain and actually having real seasons).

 

[lissieee]

@gregp0072 The first couple years I experienced SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder or something...I wasn't officially diagnosed by a doctor but it's when you get depressed in the winter), because it truly is gray and drizzly from October to April, give or take. But after that I got used to it and now I love the cozy gray rainy days, and our summers here are the most beautiful of anywhere (70s-80s and sunny almost the entire time). The thing is, I feel like people in Florida are more friendly/sociable than people here. In the PNW people have a bad rap for being unwelcoming. It can be hard to make friends. But that is probably the case no matter where you move as an adult. The other thing is, if you are looking to live in a city it is going to be more expensive than FL so you have to make sure you have a job before moving here and get ready for that increased cost of living. But if you can get over the growing pains (the weather, making friends, the prices) I think you will love it. We have so much natural beauty here and so much good food, coffee, booze, etc. I never plan on leaving!

 

[gregp0072]

@lissieee I think I'll be okay with the weather, as I honestly don't like the sun that much (super sensitive eyes and I burn easily), but I guess time will tell. I'm used to waving at neighbors here, but at the same time I'm an introvert (SO is an extrovert) so not having a big group of friends isn't a huge issue for me. We'd definitely make sure we had a steady, secure income before moving, so hopefully that won't be too much of an issue.

I'm not a huge fan of the beaches here, but I know already that I will miss being able to go to the springs and kayak and swim in the Santa Fe and the Ichetucknee and stuff in the summer. I know the scenery is breathtaking there with the coast and mountains and everything, but I guess I'm just worried about missing the springs and stuff haha

 

[lissieee]

@gregp0072 Oohh the good thing is we have plenty of water around here too! People go kayaking and paddleboarding in Lake Union and Lake Washington (in Seattle where I am), and there are several rivers nearby where people go floating in the summers! I have gone river floating at least once a summer for the last six years! Kayaking and paddleboarding can be done even when it's cold out, but you would definitely only want to go swimming and tubing in the summers.

Edit: "Floating" is what people call tubing here, haha.

 

[gregp0072]

@lissieee Oh that's awesome to hear. SO is looking to live somewhere near Seattle (he works in cyber security) so that's great! I have a good wetsuit too so I'm prepared for cooler water haha. I wasn't aware the water was warm enough to go tubing, that makes me feel so much better. And there's no gators to keep an eye out for haha

 

[lissieee]

@gregp0072 Totally! When I first moved here, when we went tubing I was like "are there water moccasins in here?" and my friends were like "what's a water moccasin?" hahaha. Nothing here but salmon and stuff. No mosquitoes either! But there are more bears, lol.

 

[gibsonian]

@bernard222

1. I'm 24 and husband is 25
2. We've been together for nearly 8 years, married for 2.
3. My husband work for the railroad and I work in banking.
4. Hopefully my employment situation would change before TTC but it's not a requirement. If I get a new job, that would delay things more though unless it was within the company I work for. I plan to work while pregnant and return to work after having the baby.
5. We live south of Kansas City with no real intentions of moving unless the perfect opportunity comes up with DH's job.
6. We don't have any cultural traditions.
7. We were both raised Protestant Christian, my husband more so than me. While we are very inconsistent in attendance now, I imagine it will pick up some once we have kids. I just plan to raise our kids to treat others with respect and kindness.

 

[pazova]

@bernard222

1. We are both 27 (we are two weeks apart in age!)
2. We have been together for 7 years, married for 2
3. Me: Cancer research lab manager DH: Computer Tech at General Mills
4. We are both in our ideal careers (though I think DH eventually wants to be a consultant)
5. We live in MN, and are planning on moving into a bigger house before TTC (hence the wait time)
6. We are both caucasian from a variety of European countries, so no specific traditions. However, we are both big nerds, so it would be nice if the LOs enjoyed the same things we do.
7. I am Lutheran, he is agnostic at best. I plan on bringing LOs to church with me, but will not pressure them if they don't want to go. DH is totally fine with this.

 

[littlethndrfoot]

@bernard222 thanks for doing this!!

1. How old are you and your SO? 28 and 29
2. How long have you and SO been together? What is your relationship status and do you plan to change your status before TTC? We have been together almost 10 years total and just got married in May.
3. What do you and SO do for a living currently? I work in a call center and my husband works for city management.
4. What are your career plans before and after TTC? I have none, I am just working to save money to be a SAHM. We want my husband to be making at least $65k / year before having kids. Preferably $80k.
5. Where do you live and what are your living arrangements like? Do you plan on moving? We just bought a house and close on it in 2 weeks!
   We live in the far western suburbs of Chicago.
6. What's your cultural backgrounds? Any cultural traditions you plan on passing down to your LO's? I don’t have an cultural background, but my husband is half Mexican. He didn’t get much background from his dad on Mexican culture. I do want to pass down his dad’s stories and a bunch of traditional foods I have learned to make and have been passed down on both sides. Irish, Hungarian and Mexican dishes.
7. What's your religious backgrounds? Do you plan on raising your kids with the same views? Neither of us are very religious either way. My mom let me explore different religions when I was a kid and it was really fun! I want my kids to have that.

 

[jesusismyking2023]

@bernard222

1. I'm 32, and my partner is 35.
2. We have been together for about four and a half years. We are currently not married, but he recently said he DOES want to get married before we TTC. This was a surprise to me (we'd talked about it before, but I had thought our conclusion was that we didn't really care that much). We are currently discussing whether we want to just have a quick, secret, civil marriage and then have a giant party for family and friends much much much later.
3. I'm a scientist and my partner is a software engineer.
4. Neither of us has any plans for changing our career anytime soon. We have no milestones to hit before TTC.
5. We bought a house earlier this year near my partner's work. We have no more living changes to make before TTC!
6. Cultural, hmm. We are both middle-class white Americans? Neither of us is religious. We are progressive liberal feminists.
7. As above, no religion. Yes, we plan to raise our children to believe what we believe.

 

[gregp0072]

@bernard222

1. I'm 23, he's 25.
2. We've only been together for 7mo this time, but four years ago we dated for almost a year before we broke up. We both matured and decided to give it another shot. We've been best friends through it all for the last five years though, and I can't see myself with anyone else. We both agree that if things continue to go as well as they are we plan on getting married before TTC, which would most likely be after he graduates.
3. We're both students. He's getting a PhD in computer security, and I'm on track to apply for a Masters in Comp Sci next fall.
4. The ideal long-term goal is for him to get a job at a big tech company and I will be a SAHM, but I'm still operating under the assumption that I will actually have a career until changes are needed.
5. We currently live in an apartment, but the longterm goal is to move to the pacific northwest (from the southeast where we are now).
   
6. Nothing much from his side, but my dad's side of the family is Swedish and we have some Christmas traditions (mostly food based) that I plan on continuing!
7. Both of us are atheists, however if our children want to learn about religions we will accept whatever they choose to follow.

It looks like so far we've been together the shortest of everyone commenting, but he really is my best friend and we have a realistic outlook on the future. If everything continues as it looks like it will our tentative goal is like... 2021-2022. He has no clue I lurk on here and babybumps, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him hahaha

 

[saravr]

@gregp0072

It looks like so far we've been together the shortest of everyone commenting

Someone has to be

There's no shame in that; we've all been there.

 

[gregp0072]

@saravr Haha no shame felt, just maybe a little sheepish since we aren't even engaged yet. Though apparently he'd been toying with the idea of proposing to me, possibly with a surprise trip to the great barrier reef, if we made it to a year last time (spoiler alert, I broke up with him like an idiot haha). Can't see myself making that mistake twice, not risking losing my best friend again!

 

[johnnyleon]

@bernard222 Love this idea

• I am nearly 30 and, he is 28.
• We have been together for 10 years and married for 1. No changes planned.
• I am a substitute teacher and my husband is a software developer.
• Ideally, I'd like to get a permanent/long-term teaching job first, but I am flexible on that now, as I felt it was becoming a millstone round my neck. I would like to take a career break when we have a baby.
• We own a house in a seaside town in the north of England. We'd consider a loft conversion if we had more than one child, but it should be fine for one. We're reluctant to move as we really like where we live and have ridiculously lovely neighbours.
• We are both atheists, and most of our family members are, but we celebrate Christmas in a secular way. I would want our children to be respectful to others and would let them explore religion if they wanted to. We plan to have a naming ceremony rather than a Christening/baptism.

 

[matilda333]

@bernard222 How old are you and your SO? I'm 32 and my husband is 34.

How long have you and SO been together? 9 years.

What is your relationship status and do you plan to change your status before TTC? We got married in May. Mostly because we wanted to be married before TTC.

What do you and SO do for a living currently? We're both public servants, I'm in policy and he's a programmer.

What are your career plans before and after TTC? I'm leaning in. I just accepted a new job as a manager. Once I'm pregnant, we'll evaluate exactly how we split leave, but we definitely intend for both of us to take some and probably for both of us to work fewer hours while we have little ones.

Where do you live and what are your living arrangements like? Do you plan on moving? We own and live in a 2 bedroom place in a major Australian city. We will probably try to buy somewhere a bit bigger in the next year or two.

What's your cultural backgrounds? Any cultural traditions you plan on passing down to your LO's? I'm a very skippy Australian. He's got Filipino heritage on one side but not very connected to the culture. If we pass on traditions, it will be things his mum asks us to do that we don't object to.

What's your religious backgrounds? Do you plan on raising your kids with the same views? We were both raised in Christian families (his Catholic, mine non-denominational Protestant) but we aren't practicing. I'm open to taking our kids to Sunday school but not actively planning on it.

 

[dorsettmm]

@bernard222 Fun!

1. How old are you and your SO?

I'm 30, he's 32.

1. How long have you and SO been together? What is your relationship status and do you plan to change your status before TTC?

We've been together for 5 years, married for about 1.5 years. Very happy with that status

1. What do you and SO do for a living currently?

I'm currently unemployed but have a background in communications, he works in the games industry.

1. What are your career plans before and after TTC?

Me getting a job is the one thing we're waiting for before TTC. I'm hoping to find work, get pregnant, take maternity leave for up to my allowed year (we'll likely share leave so I'll take a little less), then at least have the option of going back. I can see myself wanting to work part time instead of full time, but we're going to play it by ear and see how daycare etc pans out.

1. Where do you live and what are your living arrangements like? Do you plan on moving?

Currently living with his parents, but we're moving in six weeks - we bought a house! Unfortunately that house is about 3 hours away so I'm trying to find a job in that city rather than where we live now.

1. What's your cultural backgrounds? Any cultural traditions you plan on passing down to your LO's?

I'm American, he's British. We live in the UK but fully plan on adopting some US traditions to make them work for our family - for example while we won't have Thanksgiving off work, Scotland has a bank holiday at the end of November and we will have our own Thanksgiving meal then.

1. What's your religious backgrounds? Do you plan on raising your kids with the same views?

I'm Jewish (more cultural than religious) and SO is atheist with no religious background. We plan on raising our kids in the Liberal Jewish faith.

 

[lissieee]

@bernard222

1. I'm 27 and he is 33
2. We have been together 1.5 years. Currently living together in a pre-engaged state (i.e. we are engaged, getting married next summer, but haven't yet done the ring/proposal/announcement bit yet). We are waiting to get married before we start TTC...so excited to pull the goalie on our wedding night! XD
3. We both work in tech, but have our creative hobbies on the side (he is a musician and I am a writer)
4. We both plan to stay in the same field, although I need to find a full-time job with benefits. I'm currently a contractor, so it would be nice to have a job that provides paid maternity leave. After baby, the current plan is for both of us to continue working.
5. We live in a big city in the US (Pacific Northwest). We live in 2-bedroom house that we rent. We plan on buying a house sometime after our wedding, not sure where we will be on our TTC journey when that finally happens. The housing market here is horrible, but we are very fortunate that his parents are planning to help us buy a house.
6. We are both Jewish (reform) and plan on passing down Jewish traditions to our kids. We don't go to temple other than on holidays but we want to go more regularly when we have little ones, and take them to Sunday school, etc.

 

[sibahle]

@bernard222

• How old are you and your SO?

I am 30, he is 32.

• How long have you and SO been together?

11 years, just over.

• What is your relationship status and do you plan to change your status before TTC?

Married and nope

• What do you and SO do for a living currently?

I work in PR, he works in energy. Both officey jobs.

• What are your career plans before and after TTC?

For me, I would like to get a new job. It's a good job but there isn't much by way of promotion prospects. Ideally I will make a step up into another company before we try. Not the end of the world if that doesn't happen. Conditions at work are good, and parental leave is above and beyond the statutory minimum.

My husband is doing so well at work having been promoted to a more senior management post. I'm very proud. He intends to stay for the foreseeable.

• Where do you live and what are your living arrangements like? Do you plan on moving?

We own our home, a little terraced house (not sure what it is called elsewhere. A house with houses either side attached) just outside the centre of town. We don't plan to move for at least a decade but are planning to add a bit to the back to give us a bigger kitchen.

• What's your cultural backgrounds? Any cultural traditions you plan on passing down to your LO's?

Both British. Well, I have Irish family. I don't think we have much culture to pass on really.

• What's your religious backgrounds? Do you plan on raising your kids with the same views?

Both atheists. Our parents are all lapsed - mine and his mum were raised Catholic, his dad CofE, but I don't think anyone has strong views. In his family, church is more a social thing in the village than something deeply held. We won't be raising our child in a faith but will teach them about different beliefs.

 

[katrina2017]

@bernard222 Oh! This is fun Looks like I'm super late to the introduction party though. Here goes!

1. 28 (fun fact: we share the exact same birthday)
2. Almost 7 years
3. Happily meowied
4. Scientist and Lawyer
5. Both of us will stay in our careers, but I will most likely go part-time.
6. In San Francisco. I think we'll stay since our families are here.
7. Only the typical American holiday traditions like coloring easter eggs, pumpkin carving, trick-o-treating, presents on Christmas, etc.
8. Both atheist, we will be honest with our child and let them decide from there.