pUt ThE bAbY dOwN

[gracebro]

@potluck45 One day they will no longer want to be held. Soak it in now and when people say that to you reply with thanks for the input but we are fine. Might be hard to say at first, might not get the best response initially but they will stop

 

[katrina2017]

@potluck45 I read there is absolutely no way to “spoil” your baby for the first year of their life. That is when they are learning about trust and that they can rely on you. According to my mom, I spoiled my oldest. Giving in to the crying and being right there for her if something was wrong. She is the smartest, go getter, NOT NEEDY little girl ever. Your doing what needs to be done for your baby to get some much needed sleep. You go mama! Hold that baby!

 

[tjar09]

@potluck45 This is the worst. Hold your baby for however long you want. Love your baby. You’re not making a needy baby. Your baby will want their independence a little at a time in their own time. I don’t know anyone who napped in their parents arms as adults. Also, babies are generally needy because their abuse, regardless of what you do.

I also get irritated with people who think I need to be more productive, and use nap time to clean or do chores. I’m 6 months pregnant. I’m tired too. I watch tv and nap while baby naps. Sometimes I do some drawing or planning. But the dishes will get washed when the dishes get washed. Usually while my son eats lunch.

Do your thing. Hold that baby while they sleep.

 

[justvisitingquickly]

@potluck45 Interesting grandparents say this, but the first thing they do when they visit is hold the baby. I started ignoring the outdated advice. They had their chance to parent, now it's our turn. You keep doing what you feel is best!

 

[epr7142]

@potluck45 PIL and husband said the same thing to me right after baby was born. I just smile but never listen to them. The back of my husband’s head is flat, I guess they never held him. I don’t want the same thing happens to my baby and also baby grows up fast! I will hold my baby as long as I could.

 

[yole]

@potluck45 You decide what is a problem for you. If it's a problem, you decide why and what you'd like to see, then you make a change. Not napping is a problem, napping in your arms is an acceptable solution for you, so that's that! At the point where it feels untenable, if that ever happens, then you decide how you want to make a change.

There's tons of attachment parenting/positive parenting research about stronger attachment leading to independent children just fine.

 

[stoninovena]

@yole Also, if you want a bit more freedom during nap time, check out some different types of baby carriers and see if one works for baby to nap with you, while having your hands free. Having a baby carrier was a life saver for me when my son was in that needy stage.

 

[johnnyleon]

@potluck45 You do you! I had to stop holding mine for naps because life was too difficult, but if it works for you, go with it. You don't have to justify or explain yourself to anyone. She will turn out just fine.

 

[queue23]

@potluck45 Omg. This is the most annoying thing ever. I hate hearing it. My husband constantly tells me "don't baby the baby" "stop babying the baby" but at the end of the day he's MY baby and I take care of him alone 98% of the time so if I wanna baby him or carry him all day, I WILL. You do you! At the end of the day only you know your baby's needs and what is more convenient to you.

 

[katrina2017]

@queue23 Yes, there's a reason is called "babying". They're a baby, its needed. Once they become a toddler you can set boundaries that help both of you grow, but for now, they need that love and attachment.

 

[brencov]

@potluck45 I just let my 7 year old daughter fall sleep on my lap. Hold them until you have to let them go!

 

[mkeanae]

@potluck45 I’m not going to tell you to put the baby down..... but what about a ring sling or a carrier? My baby (now 18mo) wouldn’t be put down to sleep after about 10 days old, but I wanted my arms back for doing things like making coffee or cooking. The ring sling was an excellent solution for me. Baby was safe and soundly sleeping where she was happy, and I could move around and do things with my hands.

 

[potluck45]

@mkeanae We have a carrier but it’s so bulky I can’t really do much besides walk or stand to the side while I do things lol. Maybe I should try that sling.

 

[mkeanae]

@potluck45 Ring slings are definitely not bulky... is there a local sling library that you could borrow one from to try it out? They might have some other carriers that would be suitable too.

Edit: or search for diy ring sling. Mine is some sling rings from eBay and half an old curtain that happened to be the right size piece of fabric.

 

[ps2drew194]

@potluck45 I use a baby wrap for my 6 week old. I have a convertible that you can use as a wrap or a sling, but find the wrap gives my baby more support and I feel like she is more secure.

 

[joshb]

@potluck45 How about back-carrying? I carry my baby on my back in the Ergo 360 while doing chores and it’s so convenient! For the Ergo, it’s once they can sit up independently but I’m not sure about other carriers.

 

[jeiza]

@potluck45 One day he will be ready to nap on his own and it will be so bittersweet. Hold that baby for naps as long as you and he need/want. My first slept far better during the day when he slept on me for the first 12 months of his life. Also, if you don’t babywear, look into it! I could get so much done with him on my back.

 

[garyvasquez]

@potluck45 My first baby was an easy sleeper, she'd take 2-3 hour naps in her bassinet. This baby is so different. She's a light sleeper and a catnapper, and that's ok. She sleeps best on me or beside me. She's my last baby (oh god 2 is all I can handle) so I'm just going with the flow. Do what feels right for you!

 

[lrswimmer3]

@potluck45 I used to work at a daycare and there were a few people there that said some if the babies were “held too much” and “spoilt” (yes...spoilt..) and I hated it. You can’t spoil a baby by loving it too much. My own baby was in my room with me and I would hold her while I did other things all the time. No fucks given. So if someone at a childcare facility ever mentions to you that your kid “just wants to be held” or “is held too much at home”, leave. Run the other way because I promise that is not where you want your baby to be.

End speech.

 

[vtheawesome]

@potluck45 I held the baby for naps until 8 months. It was great. Then I finally did the sleep training for naps (did nights at 6.5 months). It was hard. It's great now too though. Really great.

Do what works for you until it doesn't! Things change pretty fast and that's okay.