adastrasalem
New member
@orthoserf Maybe they feel guilty for what they did.
dramatic444
New member
@potluck45 I held my babies when they slept all the time. Now they are 3 and 5 and occasionally want to snuggle before bed, but as time goes by this happens less and less. Before long it won’t happen at all. Hold them when you can!
My MIL used to give me a hard time about holding my oldest too much, and one time I point blank asked her what her problem with it was. After a while she admitted that her MIL did the same to her and she thinks it was because MIL just wanted her to do more housework, because they were living together at the time.
My MIL used to give me a hard time about holding my oldest too much, and one time I point blank asked her what her problem with it was. After a while she admitted that her MIL did the same to her and she thinks it was because MIL just wanted her to do more housework, because they were living together at the time.
@potluck45 One day you're going to look back and regret holding your baby so much and wish you'd invested more time doing things like laundry and vacuuming
/s just in case it isn't implied
/s just in case it isn't implied
greenleaf62
New member
@potluck45 At about three months old, my daughter could only nap for longer than 30 min on me. So I held her for every nap (or wore her) until she was 14 months, when she went to daycare. I was freaking out thinking she'd never sleep there but lo and behold she slept just fine from the first day. She has different expectations of different people. After a week or two, she napped alone at home as well. Now I only hold her for naps if we're on a day trip somewhere without a bed (like the zoo, because she doesn't nap in the stroller). She also learned to sleep in the car just fine.
Do what you want to do. When the time comes, if you want to sleep or nap train her, you can do that. She'll be 18 at some point. Do people think she'll still be held then? Or when she's 12? Or even 5? Or 3? Babies grow into toddlers fast. And they change so much each day. Sometimes they surprise you with their readyness for new things. As long as something works for you and works for baby, there is no reason to stop. Once it stops working for one of you, you can stop.
I was so stressed trying to make sure my daughter could take naps in the stroller. For months, from birth to six months or so, I tried for at least one stroller nap each day, just so she could be babysat by others during naptime. She cried (a little or sometimes a lot) during most of these attempts after about 3 months. And I was stressed every day. And for what? She ended up needed to be babysat twice over a naptime, both when she was under 3 months old. What a waste of my time and nerves. I kept training both of us for a day that never came. And even if it did? One day or a few days of crying with a different caregiver would have been far better than even a bit of crying every day, like clockwork.
You can tell others that "we're doing what works for us." Or "I'm happy with our choices." Because they are, in the end, your choices.
Do what you want to do. When the time comes, if you want to sleep or nap train her, you can do that. She'll be 18 at some point. Do people think she'll still be held then? Or when she's 12? Or even 5? Or 3? Babies grow into toddlers fast. And they change so much each day. Sometimes they surprise you with their readyness for new things. As long as something works for you and works for baby, there is no reason to stop. Once it stops working for one of you, you can stop.
I was so stressed trying to make sure my daughter could take naps in the stroller. For months, from birth to six months or so, I tried for at least one stroller nap each day, just so she could be babysat by others during naptime. She cried (a little or sometimes a lot) during most of these attempts after about 3 months. And I was stressed every day. And for what? She ended up needed to be babysat twice over a naptime, both when she was under 3 months old. What a waste of my time and nerves. I kept training both of us for a day that never came. And even if it did? One day or a few days of crying with a different caregiver would have been far better than even a bit of crying every day, like clockwork.
You can tell others that "we're doing what works for us." Or "I'm happy with our choices." Because they are, in the end, your choices.
lightoftheworld16
New member
@potluck45 There’s a beautiful poem that talks about how everything else will keep, but babies don’t so the mother speaking in the poem will hold her baby as much as she wants. It’s called “song for a fifth child”. Just quote that at them.
@potluck45 My toddler napped on me for the first 2 months of her life... I kinda wish she would nap on me once in a while now but alas.. she loves her big girl bed. 
Luckily, she's a cuddler.
Luckily, she's a cuddler.@potluck45 My 7 month old naps in my arms too. Solidarity!
@potluck45 My daughter is our first baby of what I hope will be many. So she will probably be the only one I get to give 100% of my attention. She is a toddler now, but I still cuddle her and hold her when she finally calms down enough to sleep. I sing her songs or we just relax and watch a show as she falls asleep in my arms. And I cherish every moment.
searchingstudent
New member
@potluck45 Do what you want for YOUR baby.
My son turns 2 next month and we coslept for 10 months (and still do for trips). He napped in my arms 99% of the time for 15 months. I held him all.the.time. He would cry if I put him down his first year so I held him, put him in the sling, etc to mow the yard, vacuum the house, cook dinner, etc.
Don’t let people use scare tactics about it affecting crawling, walking, independence, etc. My son is/was super mobile... way ahead of development charts. Crawling by 6 months, walking by 9 months, and is ridiculously independent... he runs right into his childcare class every Sunday for church (and if his class is full they’ll bump him to another room with older kids and he has zero issues with it - they constantly comment on how easy going he is)... oh and I’m a (very introverted) SAHM so we don’t socialize much outside of church/errands and I have zero babysitters or family helping me, so by most theories he should be super dependent, insecure and all about his mom. Most of the time, development is more about the child’s built in timeline than if they’re held all the time or whatever.
My son turns 2 next month and we coslept for 10 months (and still do for trips). He napped in my arms 99% of the time for 15 months. I held him all.the.time. He would cry if I put him down his first year so I held him, put him in the sling, etc to mow the yard, vacuum the house, cook dinner, etc.
Don’t let people use scare tactics about it affecting crawling, walking, independence, etc. My son is/was super mobile... way ahead of development charts. Crawling by 6 months, walking by 9 months, and is ridiculously independent... he runs right into his childcare class every Sunday for church (and if his class is full they’ll bump him to another room with older kids and he has zero issues with it - they constantly comment on how easy going he is)... oh and I’m a (very introverted) SAHM so we don’t socialize much outside of church/errands and I have zero babysitters or family helping me, so by most theories he should be super dependent, insecure and all about his mom. Most of the time, development is more about the child’s built in timeline than if they’re held all the time or whatever.
katrina2017
New member
@potluck45 Do what is in your heart, your Mama instinct.
I’ve been contact napping with my baby for 5 months and everyone (except my side of the family and my husband) tells me to put him down, let him cry, etc.
I used to hate that I always either had to babywear him or lay down with him but now it is a nice break from my day and I love cuddling him. I can’t even imagine setting him down and walking away. I’ve learned to brush off the negative comments and do what works best for us.
I’ve been contact napping with my baby for 5 months and everyone (except my side of the family and my husband) tells me to put him down, let him cry, etc.
I used to hate that I always either had to babywear him or lay down with him but now it is a nice break from my day and I love cuddling him. I can’t even imagine setting him down and walking away. I’ve learned to brush off the negative comments and do what works best for us.
innocentnigerians
New member
@potluck45 My baby sleeps amazing at night. So I know he can sleep independently. He just sleeps so much better during the day on me. Plus baby cuddles are the best!! Don’t let anyone tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. Cuddling my sleeping baby just feels like the most natural thing in the world.
@potluck45 You do you!!! First year is survival mode and anyone who judges you can suck it. I HATE getting unsolicited advice from people. All babies are different, all moms are different. Your child will not be off to college still being held for a nap. Cuddle that sleepy baby!!!
@potluck45 We did all contact naps for about a year and he took to naps on his own super well with no issues. Some people are really insecure with their parenting decisions and want you to be as well, it's infuriating and annoying but it really says more about them than it does about you that they can't just think "Our families have different needs, let's move on from this" and have to try to bend your reality to theirs. I never regretted holding my baby, personally.
priscilla83
New member
@potluck45 My baby is 3 days old and my MIL and AIL keep saying he’s already spoiled because he likes to be held... like no he just came out of a very comfy hibernation and doesn’t want to feel alone. Stfu.
@potluck45 You do whatever is right for you!! I will say after sleep and nap training my 8mo is sleeping so much more now. So don’t be afraid to try it! But at the end of the day every baby and every mom is different and YOU know what works best for your family!!
susantlora
New member
@potluck45 My LO (9 months) goes to daycare all week and naps in a crib. On the weekends, I hold him for his naps. They are only little for so long.
@potluck45 My daughter literally would only sleep on me for the first six months day or night I fought it I cried and eventually I just gave up and let it happen and enjoyed the baby snuggles and you know what she’s now four and barely wants to cuddle me at all ! Believe me I heard a lot of put her down your always holding her she’s going to be so clingy and spoiled blah blah blah wouldn’t you know she’s the most independent little person I’ve ever met. Looking back despite the sleepless nights I will treasure those cuddles forever.
@potluck45 My girl always slept on me. I'm currently pinned under her 3 year old body on a toddler bed. And I'm not mad. I'll sneak out in a bit and she wont want it forever
@potluck45 I held my older one for like 80% of naps under age one - she crawled at 7 mos, walked at 9 months - so clearly her physical development was super impacted 
@potluck45 My kid turned 1 today and still sometimes needs to be held for naps. It works for us so it's no one else's business.