@potluck45 My kiddo was 3 months when he began insisting on sleeping on me. He's almost two now and naps next to me in my bed (who am I to turn down a nap?). We have napped together every single day except for days when we are traveling. I have absolutely no regrets. He won't nap in his crib, but I'm hoping we get there eventually. He sleeps just fine at night in his bed, so I'm not too concerned. You do you and don't listen to any advice that doesn't mesh well. Most advice given by older generations is often outdated anyway and worth ignoring.
@potluck45 I love baby naps. They are awesome
parsonsmom
New member
@potluck45 You know, do what you want.
People kept on saying “why can’t you put him down?” “CAUSE I CAN’T, HE CRIES NON STOP”. It’s so annoying when other people don’t understand.
I held my baby until 7 months and then slowly worked on letting him sleep in the crib by himself. He was just getting too heavy for me to hold for naps. He’s at 9 months now and just kind of getting to the point and I no longer hold him for naps and I miss it. Napping in my arm was the only time I get to see his calm baby face anymore and where I felt like he really wanted/needed me.
Enjoy it, they do grow up fast. If you don’t have a problem with it then do it.
People kept on saying “why can’t you put him down?” “CAUSE I CAN’T, HE CRIES NON STOP”. It’s so annoying when other people don’t understand.
I held my baby until 7 months and then slowly worked on letting him sleep in the crib by himself. He was just getting too heavy for me to hold for naps. He’s at 9 months now and just kind of getting to the point and I no longer hold him for naps and I miss it. Napping in my arm was the only time I get to see his calm baby face anymore and where I felt like he really wanted/needed me.
Enjoy it, they do grow up fast. If you don’t have a problem with it then do it.
zahlcindyma
New member
@potluck45 My only question is how? My one year old likes to be rocked back to sleep at night, I'd be happy to do it if it weren't for the physical difficulty of it. My neck, back and arms get so sore
matchmakergirl
New member
@potluck45 The only thing I would advise is a k'tan if the baby will tolerate it. I have learned to work quite well with a sleeping baby and I love it.
adastrasalem
New member
@matchmakergirl Babywearing, if you can get it to work, is just wonderful. They get held and you can eat a sandwich or whatever.
pinkysw3ar1
New member
@potluck45 I got shivers from the title because I hear myself say that phrase to my 4 & 8 year olds all day EVERY day. Put your sister down. Put her down. On the FLOOR, not the couch! Why would you leave her on the couch?! She will fall off! Don't pull her out of her bouncer/highchair/playpen! Leave her! PUT THE BABY DOWN!
@potluck45 This kind of thing drives me absolutely batshit crazy. That baby spent the first 9 months of its existence WRAPPED IN A WARM WET NOISY BLANKET but you holding the baby for a nap 7 MONTHS LATER is supposed to "spoil" them?
Do these people even hear themselves?
I held all 3 of my babies, whenever they wanted and I wasn't touched out. When the guilt started whispering, I reminded myself of that old poem about how "babies don't keep."
Guess what?
My oldest and youngest started out fearful. I didn't notice this as much with my first but I didn't know what to look for; I noticed her caution later. With my third it was super obvious to me: at 4 months old, every time there was so much as a cough across the room, he'd be staring at me to make sure everything was still ok.
By the age of 2 they were both branching out. My youngest turned 2 a month ago and has been willing to spend time with strangers in child-care places for a few months now. My oldest, 8, is currently spending her first night at sleep-away camp.
But.
When my youngest was 9 months old, I tried to start working out. I tried to leave him in childcare. He screamed for 45 minutes before they came and got me. I tried again a bit later, sitting in the play area with him. I did this twice a week for a month, and by then there had been only marginal improvement and the staff was trying to get me to leave him there for ten minutes at a time. They said they'd come get me if he was still inconsolable after ten minutes.
I sat down the hall with my needlework. I'd like to say that every time, ten minutes would go by and they were there telling me he was still crying. I'd like to say that, because he WAS still crying. But they didn't come get me after ten minutes. They took longer, and so he spent 15, 20 minutes screaming his terrified little head off twice a week for another 3 weeks. And he was waking up with nightmares multiple times per night. At 9 months old, waking up screaming terrified every couple of hours.
The final straw was when I had been sitting down the hall for 25 minutes thinking that we were finally making progress because I hadn't been hearing him screaming as the door opened and closed with the usual flow of people, and they came and got me and said he'd been screaming the whole time, only this time he was screaming into a cubby. That's why I didn't hear him.
I want to go back just for them to see him walk in and start playing, now that he's 2 and more independent. But I expect he'll still be terrified of that place, and anyway I have no desire whatsoever to see those people ever again. I did like working out there, but fuck those people.
Do these people even hear themselves?
I held all 3 of my babies, whenever they wanted and I wasn't touched out. When the guilt started whispering, I reminded myself of that old poem about how "babies don't keep."
Guess what?
My oldest and youngest started out fearful. I didn't notice this as much with my first but I didn't know what to look for; I noticed her caution later. With my third it was super obvious to me: at 4 months old, every time there was so much as a cough across the room, he'd be staring at me to make sure everything was still ok.
By the age of 2 they were both branching out. My youngest turned 2 a month ago and has been willing to spend time with strangers in child-care places for a few months now. My oldest, 8, is currently spending her first night at sleep-away camp.
But.
When my youngest was 9 months old, I tried to start working out. I tried to leave him in childcare. He screamed for 45 minutes before they came and got me. I tried again a bit later, sitting in the play area with him. I did this twice a week for a month, and by then there had been only marginal improvement and the staff was trying to get me to leave him there for ten minutes at a time. They said they'd come get me if he was still inconsolable after ten minutes.
I sat down the hall with my needlework. I'd like to say that every time, ten minutes would go by and they were there telling me he was still crying. I'd like to say that, because he WAS still crying. But they didn't come get me after ten minutes. They took longer, and so he spent 15, 20 minutes screaming his terrified little head off twice a week for another 3 weeks. And he was waking up with nightmares multiple times per night. At 9 months old, waking up screaming terrified every couple of hours.
The final straw was when I had been sitting down the hall for 25 minutes thinking that we were finally making progress because I hadn't been hearing him screaming as the door opened and closed with the usual flow of people, and they came and got me and said he'd been screaming the whole time, only this time he was screaming into a cubby. That's why I didn't hear him.
I want to go back just for them to see him walk in and start playing, now that he's 2 and more independent. But I expect he'll still be terrified of that place, and anyway I have no desire whatsoever to see those people ever again. I did like working out there, but fuck those people.
@potluck45 Meh, ignore the haters. I held mine for naps consistently until she got on a regular nap schedule and has mostly stopped breastfeeding, so like 9-10 months. And she's 17 months now and completely fine. She naps on her own, in her crib, on a predictable schedule. She sleeps through the night, on her own, in her crib, also on a predictable schedule.
You hold that baby. The 'holding them all the time' part of their lives goes by way too fast.
You hold that baby. The 'holding them all the time' part of their lives goes by way too fast.
katrina2017
New member
@potluck45 My son was held for all naps until he was 8 months old. I tried his cot a couple of times and then he napped in there. He naps well now, puts himself to sleep from being awake and wasn't at all bothered when he started nursery, he seriously has never cried or been upset at drop off. These were all things I was 'warned' about because I held my own flipping child. Every one can piss off, you know your kid best and what gets you through the day.
@potluck45 I held my baby to sleep until she was about 10 months. I didn't mind it until we went days of her not sleeping well even if she was in my arms then I made the change to the CIO method, which happened to work for us. Just listen to what your baby needs, you are the parent and you get to do it your way 
and when you know it's time to make a change then you can do it.
and when you know it's time to make a change then you can do it.@potluck45 Honestly my baby sleeps just fine on her own... but she grows so fast and at some point she'll refuse to cuddle. I'll treasure it while I can.
People need to fuck off and mind their own business!
People need to fuck off and mind their own business!
pblackmont
New member
@potluck45 My two youngest could never sack out unless they were touching me. We snuggled so much and I loved most of it, but adored it when they were babies. Have fun holding your little one!!
@potluck45 We always sleep for nap time in our arms, my mom has been able to get her down in a bed now. Otherwise when my daughter actually naps she's always in my husband's arms. My mom says my husband doesn't want to let her go so he doesn't mind it. She's 2 now and is down to one nap a day if that, for some reason if I have her by myself she won't nap. He has the magic touch, if the kid naps longer if they are in your arms who cares! It's your baby you do your own thing, screw everyone else
katrina2017
New member
@potluck45 I tend to hold during naps! But bedtime is for the crib! Until morning, that’s when she can come to bed with us and snuggle before its time to get up
melissaparker19
New member
@potluck45 I literally had a nurse tell me this on my second night in the hospital. I didn’t even know to be mad about it until well after!
alvanorichie
New member
@potluck45 I really hated that when people would say that with my first son who’s now 2. I loved holding him and did so for about a year. I just had another lil boy so I’m worried that I won’t get that same bonding time but I’ll be taking advantage of it whenever I can.
katrina2017
New member
@potluck45 I have a perfect nighttime routine. My toddler sleeps like a dream. My husband and I are leaving him overnight for the first time tomorrow. I was telling my mom his nighttime routine and she was like, oh wow maybe he needs a disruption to the routine. It can’t be good for him to have such a specific routine. I was like, listen lady everyone says kids need a bedtime routine and he sleeps like a champ. Don’t mess with the routine or there’ll be hell to pay.
neddynelima
New member
@potluck45 I am so thankful to see this thread today. We are at the 3 month mark now and yesterday I started feeling very guilty that our little guy naps on me all the time.
I’ve been practicing pack n play naps with him the past week because I know for my own peace of mind I can’t hold him napping forever.
But in the meantime guilt be gone and love them baby snuggles.
I’ve been practicing pack n play naps with him the past week because I know for my own peace of mind I can’t hold him napping forever.
But in the meantime guilt be gone and love them baby snuggles.
baralabite
New member
@potluck45 My little dude is almost 15 months. He's currently sleeping on top of me. Husband and I are planning for #2 and our greatest concern is how to time it so we can make sure #2 can be held for naps. It wouldn't be fair otherwise!
Rock on, Mama.
Rock on, Mama.