@pkhaney LEO WIFE HERE, now this does not go for everyone but my husband is a stand up man. He is honest and would never be unfaithful so I am giving my advice based on what ive seen with my husband:
Being an LEO wife (or partner) is tough because they see things that are unimaginable. They see dead children, dead pregnant women, women and kids who just got beat up by their fathers and it severely harms their brain. Imagine working in that environment seeing a dead baby then coming home to your 5 month old. Its not easy and severely messes with with their mental health. Its a great sign he started therapy, everyone is suggesting affair but honestly I’ve seen the breakdowns with my husband and it always is that he feels that with his mental health he is a bad husband and father and we deserve better HE DOESNT WANT TO LEAVE, HE IS NOT CHEATING but he feels guilty about the PTSD and the life he lives thinking a banker doing 9-5 would be better for me (not true). Therapy will help, but mostly with time he will get better at coming home and turning it off, having a good quiet spot to decompress after work is ideal…think a home gym, going for a run or maybe a gaming room where he can process the work day before going into dad mode. I know thats awful as the wife because you wait for him to come home to help, but part of being the supportive partner and wife is to keep him moving forward and help his house feel like a safe space so he can take over and you get me time.
It takes time, this job is not for everyone, id honestly recommend YOU find a therapist who specializes in first responder’s as well, me and my husband each individually see 911/first responder therapists to work on our relationship. I just want everyone to remember, first responders are a different brand of spouse, it takes sacrifice on both ends… he is sacrificing his mental health to pay the bills while you sacrifice your sanity at home. This goes for fire, ems, police and ER med staff!