@pkhaney Ignore the cheating comments, but this I get 100%. Whenever my bf does his night schedules (switches monthly), he gets like this. Depressed, paranoid of what I'm doing or talking to, barely has time to see us, always tired, etc.
Nights are really hard when you have a family. (And he is always nights from what it seems, not a monthly swing) On top of all that, his job is stressful. Who knows what he's seeing or has seen. He is projecting, but projecting the fact that he feels stuck so he thinks you do. Worried that you're finding someone else or discussing wanting to leave since he's never around.
My bf and i recognize that when he does night shifts, we will be struggling the most, and we've started couples therapy to help. He might be able to use his therapist to help him switch to days. Until then, therapy and a better schedule will help (sleep, work, eating, and days off schedule)
Not to make you too panicked, but you should be aware, I've heard stories from cops and my ex cop teacher who's said, when cops get like this, feeling stuck, can't detach from job, pushing people away, they are becoming suicidal and when they succeed and pushing everyone one, they commit to it. He might be giving you and out so he can go through with it, if that is what he's feeling, so be aware. He seems to need you now more than ever.