@pkhaney Please, please reach out to his department chaplain or counselor. Do they also offer counseling for spouses?
We are first responders.
My husband is a firefighter but our son is a state trooper. It sounds like he is having trouble turning ~off~ from the job and that he can’t fully relax. (He hears his radio in his sleep.)
Also, night shift is incredibly hard with a young family. You all need help. He sounds like he is drowning and doing some less than logical things in order to keep floating.
The mindset is different for first responders. If he can’t take care of you and the kids to the best of his ability, he wants you safe elsewhere.
Thus, the out he offered you may be out of fear (he’s afraid he can’t take care of the kids like you can).
There may also be something going on at work he can’t or won’t tell you that has him concerned for your safety. There’s a reason most officers don’t have social media, or have very limited information. He may have ~erased~ you in an effort to separate you from him for safety.
IF he is doing that, demand an explanation. If you need to be particularly alert, you need to know. IF he is being particularly paranoid, you also need to know.
I’m so sorry you all are dealing with this.