My husband offered me an out yesterday

[elenchikos]

@pkhaney It seems like burnout. Along with him upping his therapy I would recommend couples counseling. There needs to be couple time, family time, and hobby time. I have been reading and recommend Hold the Line by Cyndi Doyle (for you) and Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement by Dr. Kevin Gilmartin (for both of you).

 

[jesuslover20021234]

@elenchikos Yes read the books buy do NOT enter couples counselling now that he's abusing power and broken trust. Gilmartin will send you down a line of problem solving you do not need to bother with. This is a him problem. He fractured and he needs to repair. Departments offer all of the supports to LEOs and almost nothing to families of. When shot hits the fan they'll back him and you'll be collateral damage. Which is a terrifying space to inhabit. You can't love them harder through DV which is what this is.

 

[riverwest]

@jesuslover20021234 I’m not trying to be snarky but where’s the violent behavior here.

 

[elenchikos]

@jesuslover20021234 Is there some projection going on here?

I don’t know OP or her partner, but nothing I read points to abuse or DV. Trust and boundaries have been broken for sure, but abuse? I don’t see it.

There is potential for this to be overcome.

 

[jesuslover20021234]

@elenchikos No. Not in policing. Police families are full of this bUrNoUt nonsense. He knows exactly what he's doing and you're falling for the broken hero myth. Google 40%