My husband offered me an out yesterday

@pkhaney Kind of sounds like he is giving you an out because he doesn’t want to be the one to suggest it for himself? I went through something extremely similar so I don’t want to project my own feelings about it, just could be one explanation why. Plus the whole not trusting you out of nowhere could just be his own guilty conscience. Have you asked straight up if that is actually what HE wants?
 
@adviceplease I agree, it sounds like he is unhappy and doesn't want to take the step to leave, but wants you to force him. It's easier to say "oh the wife wants to move home so I have to leave the job".

It's good he's in therapy, but he should consider if the job is worth not being involved with the family. Night shifts are brutal if he could change that he might feel a lot better.
 
@graceie Does OP see all that money? Bc he could not actually be picking up shifts. Or it could be someone at work. Not going to say that’s what it is but I would question it.
 
@pkhaney I think he made things pretty clear. He is miserable and overworked and burnt out. The hours he's working are isolating him from his family and keeping him from having a normal life. And he is projecting his misery on you while also feeling disconnected from you. It sounds like he needs to change his hours or look for a new job asap.
 
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