@sharone I agree that the internet has been hugely helpful here. I have been able to find resources, advice and even communities of like-minded people to inform my parenting, and help me process my own trauma.
If I had been stuck with the people literally in my family and local community, I would have been far worse off. I know way too many people that parent based on how they were raised because "I turned out fine" (even though they really didn't). Even with all the access to info people have today many don't take advantage, instead sticking with the status quo because it's "easier". See, for instance, parents that still spank their kids.
My mom's efforts to break the cycle also helped. Even though she messed up in many ways, her efforts told me it was possible to at least try. I reflected a lot on my childhood before having a child, and invested time into figuring out other options. I tell my daughter that while I'm trying my absolute best, I won't always get it right. And that when she's a mom my hope is that she'll be able to build on my efforts (and my mom's) and be an amazing parent to her own kids. Progress, not perfection, is what breaks these cycles.
If I had been stuck with the people literally in my family and local community, I would have been far worse off. I know way too many people that parent based on how they were raised because "I turned out fine" (even though they really didn't). Even with all the access to info people have today many don't take advantage, instead sticking with the status quo because it's "easier". See, for instance, parents that still spank their kids.
My mom's efforts to break the cycle also helped. Even though she messed up in many ways, her efforts told me it was possible to at least try. I reflected a lot on my childhood before having a child, and invested time into figuring out other options. I tell my daughter that while I'm trying my absolute best, I won't always get it right. And that when she's a mom my hope is that she'll be able to build on my efforts (and my mom's) and be an amazing parent to her own kids. Progress, not perfection, is what breaks these cycles.
). I was like you could use scissors or the trimmers with one of the guards, and to just let me know and I'll show you how or do it for you... Whichever. Then I said, with the same tone, that's also true for pubic hair.... It can be trimmed down. He told me "I know, I use the scissors to trim down my ball hair... Its was too much". 
