Called 9-11 on daughter

[noldoxis]

@jar1437 At 12, you can force ED treatment. Renfrew is an incredible resource. I've had like 5 friends go through their program!

 

[codygm]

@jar1437 I would have had her Baker Acted. She’s incredibly mentally ill, this will only get worse and she needs major intervention.

 

[stik]

@jar1437 I’m in recovery for an ED after over a decade of battling it. It’s not something you can usually deal with on your own. Please seek out proper medical help for her.

 

[desiredone]

@jar1437 It's like on an airplane. Oxygen for yourself first. You can't help others if you aren't there to help. You did the right thing in making sure you were safe and the situation didn't escalate.

 

[nathanielfirst]

@jar1437 Hang in there, seriously. Then, intensive outpatient program—intensive therapy about 15 hours a week, plus psychiatry (mood stabilizers are very effective for reducing the swings from up to down). A year ago we couldn’t even envision surviving this.

 

[nathanielfirst]

PS: health insurance covers this, and will make an exception and cover one near your house if they don’t have one in network nearby.

 

[agelababypo]

@jar1437 I’m sorry for your trouble but I honestly feel that you did the right thing. There’s never a reason that she should hit or threaten you. They should’ve taken her for a 5150 check to actually put some fear into her and make her think about the severity of her actions. Then she would have a psych evaluation right away. From there she would seek counseling and move forward after that.

That’s just my thoughts it doesn’t mean it’s the right choice. I was raised to argue with not threaten my elders. It’s not okay to verbally or physically assault a parent

 

[enragedatcandy]

@jar1437 I'm sorry but im confused. you didn't expect a police officer to respond to a situation where a person was wielding a knife and screaming?

 

[reeses]

@jar1437 Check your local county, in the US there are a lot of crisis response teams that are county based. In my state that means mental health trained individuals come to assess and determine if hospitalization is necessary.

 

[submissivewife]

@jar1437 I hope your daughter can find healing. Calling 911 was the thing you did because you were scared for her and yourself. There is no need to feel bad about it. Anorexia bulimia and eating disorders are real and genuinely life threatening illnesses.
In time the anger your child is projecting on to you will diminish and fade away. Know that she is not seeing life clearly between tween hormones, undeveloped frontal lobes, and the brain chemistry changes of eating disorder she can't understand why you are so worried. Don't try to explain. Just keep loving her and let her know you will love her every step and stumble of the way.

 

[onestepcloser3939]

@jar1437 I didn’t read the comments, but I’m here to say I had to do the same thing when my child was around the same age. Happy to report that she is 17 now and just graduated from high school with straight A’s.

We suffered suicidal thoughts, eating disorder, anxiety, and even some assaults brought on by her choice of friends and being left alone with a predator.

All of the things she went through, led us to therapy, and have made her the strong woman that she is today. She even express appreciation for the growing pains we went through as a family.

My wish for you is that these hardships lay the foundation for a bright and beautiful future for both of you. Hang in there.

 

[nate8844]

@jar1437 I’m so sorry you’re having to go through this. I actually can relate very much from your daughters point of view. I developed an eating disorder at 11 which brought me down to a dangerous weight and a lot of depression and behavioral issues.

After months of fighting me on having to eat, my dad (one of the best people in the world) was so frustrated with me that he sat me at the table with a glass of milk and said I couldn’t get up until i finished it. I don’t remember what happened next but I either disposed of it or just pushed it away for hours. Eventually, with tears in his eyes he grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me pleading with me to drink it. It was not violent whatsoever but I was so scared of having to drink the milk that I called 911 and told them my dad was hitting me… they came and were quick to figure out that I wasn’t being honest after talking to both my dad and I. I did end up having to go into a psychiatric ward about a month later due to my weight and some self harm. I spent about two weeks there and they managed to get my weight up about through forced feedings. It was not an ideal situation but it did probably end up saving me that time around.

I’m 27 now and have struggled with anorexia on and off since that point but am currently in remission and pregnant. I look back at that little girl and feel so sad for her and I also feel SO ashamed for how much I hurt my parents on that day and so many others. This disease is UGLY and it makes you do UGLY things. Please understand that your daughter is drowning in emotions, most of them not having anything to do with her actual weight or food. It’s a way to feel control and safety in oneself even though it is truly self harm.

Again, I am so sorry you’re going through this. I really do feel for you and my parents and all other loved ones that have had to be abused by those with eating disorders.

Please reach out to me if you ever have to chat!

 

[fashionhandbagsx]

@jar1437 This is so hard.

I just want to say i'm an adult now who had an ED at that age and pulled a knife on my mother more than once.

Now, my mom and I are very close, she has wonderful relationships with my children and I have healthy relationship with food.

I dont know how this will play out for you and your daughter but there is hope.

 

[nice1here]

@jar1437 You did the best you could to get her help..... smart to document her actions with a 3rd party... from experience these episodes that get swept under rug become more and more violent... keep your strength about you

 

[unrelentingfortruth]

@jar1437 After reading all that and then reading your partner also placed blame on you, all I can say is I’m so sorry. That is traumatic and I truly hope you can find help for your daughter AND yourself. Please talk it out with someone

 

[2worlds]

@jar1437 You didn’t do anything wrong. When someone pulls a knife on you, you call 911. I don’t care who it is, daughter or not. Why? Because if your daughter pulls a knife on you - she is not mentally stable, she is not herself and she needs immediate help…not tomorrow or next week. You shouldn’t be WAITING to use a referral to see a psychiatrist. That could take weeks. Also, respectfully- I don’t think changing the way you speak to her about it (reframing it) is going to work. Reframing it in a different light and trying to talk to your daughter about it from a different perspective - it isn’t going to work because your daughter isn’t in a place where she can see the truth of it all , she’s not in a place mentally where you can reach her talking “heart to heart”- if she was in a place where she was rational then she wouldn’t be pulling a knife on you for any reason. This police officer didn’t do his/her duty when coming to your home. Telling your daughter it isn’t nice to pull a knife on my Mommy and leaving is absurd. He should have called out a mental health officer to come see about the situation. The mental health officer would have then said we are taking her in to the ER for a mental evaluation and went from there. It sounds like to me your daughter is not only going through an eating disorder but also through some psychosis/ mental issues (which you already know) and she wants To HURT YOU for getting in the way of her twisted eating disorder goals. If she can’t physically hurt you like when trying to with the knife, she may try to get at you in an even worse way by HURTING HERSELF. I’m sorry this is so hard, get help now. One day she will understand.