(18) (F) so i have a 1 year old daughter; are guys willing to date someone with a child…?

[jesusapproved]

@dogmahunter I'm 39 (f). I have 2 kids had a very bad ending of my relationship , ghosted with a son to raise. It's been 2 years now and I don't think I'll ever trust again.

It's true we single parents are seen as an easy lay. SMH

 

[katrina2017]

@dogmahunter It comes with maturity. I’m a single parent myself. The hardest part of dating for me is you’re not just looking for someone for you but someone for your child too.

 

[forgotten]

@dogmahunter Yes they are and they should

 

[katrina2017]

@dogmahunter Look for someone older and more mature. I mean, age doesn't always mean anything, but for sure guys your age are garbage.

 

[katrina2017]

Yeah that’s a great idea. Let her find some creepy 26 year old who is developmentally leaps ahead of her. He can mold and shape and control her.

This is shit advice, OP. Have more respect for yourself.

 

[temi]

@katrina2017 This. She will not have the education, skills, or time to have gainful employment. Which will make her very financially vulnerable. On top of that, she will not have any life experience to identify malicious actors or simply know enough to spot bullshit.

The vast majority of men her age will not be interested in someone with the overwhelming responsibility of being a single mother.

Older men will have financial leverage and enough life experience to easily take advantage of this person. There are some creeps on this thread popping up.

The best advice one can give to the op is for her to focus on her child, focus on financial independence, get a trade/skill/education, and guard herself from potential predators. The wrong choices will lead to a repeated cycle of dysfunction for the next generation.

 

[katrina2017]

Did I say a specific age range? No, I did not. Those guys aren't any better either. But there are guys out there who have their shit together mentally and financially way better than an 18 year old.

 

[katrina2017]

Yeah but SHE is 18….so she is in the same mentality/state.

If you are 35 dating a 29 year old, it isn’t thst weird. You are both pretty much adults and have gone through the similar hurdles and are (developmentally at least) grown and (should be somewhat) at the same stage of life.

But if you take thst same age difference and apply it to an 18 YO and a 24 year old? That shit is wrong. A 24 year old has nothing in common with an 18 YO. Legally she’s an adult, but that’s about it. (Sorry if you’re reading this OP. You’ll understand when you are in your mid/late 20s)

Shot even 22 dating 18 is weird. She’s still a teenager. Period.

 

[thewoman2014]

@katrina2017 No. MyBD was older than me. Had no issues with my son but he ended up being a complete bum.

 

[dave62]

@dogmahunter I mean I'm relatively close in age and I wouldn't mind. I just wouldn't want to be involved unless I was able to support said child.

 

[generalcarter]

@dogmahunter I started dating my current boyfriend just before my sons first birthday. I wouldn’t say that all men are unwilling to date a woman with a child, but there are understandably some who are. I think at your age even more so.

 

[bradcopely]

@generalcarter Not sure why your comment got downvoted

 

[katrina2017]

@dogmahunter Yes

 

[christianwoman2006]

@dogmahunter See I’m 21 now and when I was ur age I dated a girl who was 21 then (when I was 18) and she basically just used me to help support her kid. There are some out there… not many but some, who will actually help u maybe not financially with the kid but physically/emotionally as I did, but don’t take their kindness for granted when you find him.. they are very very rare now.

 

[hawkmanjames]

@dogmahunter Not a lot of 18 yr olds. But many more men in their 30's have kids of their own so we have no room to discriminate.

 

[burk88]

@dogmahunter You might need to try older men.

 

[bradcopely]

@dogmahunter This makes me not want to become a single parent. It's like we are doomed to be forever alone.

 

[bradcopely]

@dogmahunter Everyone in this chat hasn't found a partner so I assume they want you to go on the forver alone train to... I say focus on yourself and be cautious of who you date.

 

[neohuabai]

@dogmahunter What others are saying that you should focus on you and your daughter, its absolutely true.

However, you are still human and have needs. Wanting to date is one thing, actually dating is another.

I've been attempting to date someone who is 38 and a single mom to a almost 2 year old, but she puts her child 100% ahead of everything and then some, despite having a co-parent available.

I am not complaining that she is putting the child ahead of me, I knew that was going to be something from the get go, but what gets me is that she has a limited support system. She co-parents with her ex wife who lives with her (i know red flag) and anytime something goes wrong (kid wakes up in the middle of the night or even just preparing for the next day) she has to do it and the other mom doesn't.

This leads to excuses of "oh i dont want to go anywhere because my son may need me" when its literally 11pm at night and the kid is asleep with his other mother. She is quite overprotective of him and I understand it but she isn't giving any leeway to us dating.

That being said, I as a single guy with no kids am totally okay with dating a single mom. I've done it before and know what comes with the territory. Some people just wont be okay with it. But make sure if you are going to date, don't let the guy feel like hes just there until you dismiss him for the night. If he respects you as a mother and a woman, then it could work. IMHO.

 

[aurorareina]

@dogmahunter It's possible but the guy will probably be ugly. Or he will be cute but a mooch trying to eat all of the kids snacks and move into your home.