@bagross I don’t think anyone can truly understand, but people need to show more compassion. It’s not easy for everyone to get pregnant. And losing a baby isn’t just something you can get over. My mom had a late stage miscarriage and she still tears up to this day when she talks about it, and it’s literally 30 years later.
@dmissick I feel you. We lost ours during the second trimester, and people were so insensitive. My dad sad "sorry about the baby, but y'know, these things happen."
@underscorezero I’m really sorry that happened to you. TTC sucks and I relate in the sense that this journey definitely hasn’t gone the way we wanted or thought it would. We were naive and figured it would happen within 3 months. Here we are on cycle #10. My (younger) sister conceived on her first try. I don’t really have anyone in my day-to-day life that I can relate to and it’s difficult because TTC is all consuming and it’s hard to even think about anything else since I can hardly even buy a new pair of jeans without thinking “hmm will these fit me X months from now?” I ended up having to delete social media off my phone which has helped some but also made my circle feel even smaller. My mom took ~2 years to conceive me and my MIL took ~3 years for my BIL. My mom still remembers how shitty of a time it was but my MIL can be a bit insensitive about it (think toxic positivity, manifestation etc).
@chrishansen123 I’m thankful my mom and MIL are both supportive because they each had a year of TTC at least once. I’m sorry your MIL isn’t as supportive, sometimes positive people are the worst
@underscorezero Literally opened Reddit looking to just fucking vent about being over it and saw your post! Feeling the same way- 12 months TTC and nothing, I’ve had my best friend announce her pregnancy and have her baby all in the time we’ve been trying and now my brother and his fiancé are pregnant.., just feels like it’s happening so easy for everyone and here my husband and I are spending a shit ton of money on ovulation tests and just nothing. This is the first month that I really just feel like giving up…
@misslee I’m in the same boat as you. Shit absolutely sucks. Feels like we’re on our own island watching everyone on the mainland having the time of their lives.
@misslee Sameeee. Both of my best friends I grew up with are pregnant - 8 months and 6 months - and I can’t help but feel envious that their kids will grow up together and they are sharing this journey. It makes me feel like an outsider. AF was 4 days late this month - which NEVER happens to me - and it was like a punch to the gut getting that negative. This has become such a difficult process.
@underscorezero I’m so sorry this happened to you. What a gut punch.
I had to get a routine pelvic ultrasound recently and my husband said that he hopes it’s a girl. He said it in a joking way but it really bothered me because I obviously wish the ultrasound were because I was pregnant instead of 1.5 years into TTC. I just responded “that was a weird thing to say” and also said that I didn’t think it was funny and he apologized. I think sometimes people forget that these types of comments are problematic.
@underscorezero That. sucks. so. bad. I'm sorry. My mom told me about all the people including herself who got pregnant right away and that was no fun but OUCH yours is worse. I'm just here to say I get the heartbreak and it's so hard sometimes. I try as much as possible to focus on being in the moment but ttc just constantly pulls you into thinking about "what if it happens this cycle?" And the hope rollercoaster. People's comments make it even tougher. My old therapist gave me a tip for those hurtful comments to say something like "ouch! That hurts" in a tone that's kind of surprised, (alternately you can try a tone like you are embarrassed for them or even a light-hearted jab back). It works sometimes but not really over text. Also, you need to find a tone that you think works in the relationship but I've used it when my mom talks about weight for example and it can be helpful.
