Going through it

@cm0308 There’s many different ways life doesn’t go according to plan - becoming a single parent is one of them. Sure we get shamed sometimes by society, but those doing the shaming never walked in your exact shoes. It is futile to beat ourselves up over this, as it won’t change the circumstances. However there is definitely grief in comparing the reality of the situation to what we had wished and hoped for. And it’s okay to be sad about it. But as you identify more with being a survivor of your misfortune as opposed to being the victim, that grief will become the strength for you and your kiddos.

How old are your kids? Do you have any support from friends or family?
 
@katrina2017 They are 10, 8, 6&5. I barely have any family or help. Ever since Covid finances really get in the way of me getting a babysitter just even for a couple hours
 
@cm0308 Are there resources in your city for single parents? Sometimes you can get subsidized childcare or programs you can get them into for free. I’d say even take a day off from work if you can while they’re in school!

I know it can be overwhelming with everything that sometimes you feel stuck and don’t know what to do. But even with them around, don’t forget to take those little moments for yourself. Sometimes I wake up earlier to do my makeup and it makes me feel like I did something for me. Or take a nice bath after they’ve gone to bed. You can squeeze in some self-care here and there.

One day at a time. ❤️
 
@cm0308 Im not sure where you are but in my state, if the children are on any type of public assistance, especially medicaid, the state will go after the father for child support much quicker and more diligently than if not on assistance, via Child Support Enforcement. No matter what your job or income, you should definitely apply and qualify for some help from the government. And do NOT feel any type of way about receiving this. That is what it's there for!
 
@cm0308 Vent all you want, this is a safe space. No one can judge you for how you got to where you are, it’s not like you could have predicted the future. We all make mistakes. Be proud of what you accomplish everyday because not everyone has the strength to take care of 4 children! You are doing amazing 💕
 
@cm0308 I’ve been there! The days are so long, but the years truly fly by. You’re doing great, and you’re doing right by your kids. Things will fall into place for you.
 
@cm0308 I am in your shoes too mama. 4 kids, completely solo. My younger two have a different dad than my older 2. He’s “involved” on weekends and loves to give me advice and bitch at me about what I’m doing wrong, then coming in to play “super dad” for 25 hours before going back to his life without paying child support. The older two, their dad isn’t around because he’s an addict, hasn’t paid child support in 14 years and had to be completely cut off for doing drugs in front of our kids (like preteens who notice it)…

I hate that I chose poorly for their fathers, because I was young and traumatized and clung to the attention I got from them. That I’m not the mom I used to be because I’m so stressed out and completely exhausted. So then I feel even more guilty that I took that away from my older two and my younger two never got to experience it. I’m always worrying about my kids and if they are going to be decent adults, I’m socially cut off from the world, while their dads get to do whatever they want and have no worries. They work whatever hours they want, go hang out with their friends, buy things they want, and even decide when they want to be a parent. I hate it. I hate it so much. I was young when I had them, and I love my kids so much, but i would have never signed up for this if I realized I was going to be doing it alone and heartbroken all the time.

OP, please feel free to reach out if you ever want to vent from one quad mom to another ❤️
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top