Daughter broke up with her boyfriend of 4 years & it’s like I’m going through a breakup.

[flute28]

@sylvie Ugh I’m so sorry you are going through this, OP. I see that you are supportive of your daughter and that is the best you can continue doing at this point. She’s lucky you have you.

 

[cupido72]

@sylvie Awwww sound like me and my mom. I went through a depression when my marriage ended. I didn't realize how much what I went through affected my mom. She went through it with me. Her heart broke watching me go through a broken heart. You just have to let her go through it. I don't wish that pain on no one. Be support, encourage her, and reminder her of value because heartbreak will make you question yourself.

 

[lazzy]

@sylvie It’s sad she got back together with him but THANKFULLY he broke it off. Saved her years of regret and heartache. This is a good thing.

 

[charger]

@sylvie I think you’re too involved. This is one of life’s tough lessons that she needs to deal with. You should be happy he showed his true colours and she didn’t get in any deeper with him. Absolute blessing. My parents would be popping the champagne (literally) and toasting to better things.

 

[sylvie]

@charger I’m trying to not be too involved which is why I posted here. I needed a place to vent about it, so I can just give her the support she wants. I am happy she found out now and not after they got married or had a child.

 

[amaian]

@sylvie It’s also worth pointing out that you can’t possibly know the whole story. It sounds like they may have both been unfaithful, which would make a lot more sense for why they’d reconcile and then he’d leave.

But as the above comment said, you’re way too invested in this.

 

[jcpro]

@sylvie You have a right to feel however you do— anger and disappointment is fair here. But as you said, you should stay out of it to the extent she requires. Be there are much as she needs, fall back on the rest and don’t down him too much to her because it will only hurt more. Don’t make your feelings the precedent here. My boyfriend & I are having a child soon, his mom has yet to extend any interest in me because she was so “upset” about his breaking up with his cheating ex two plus years ago and apparently didn’t want him to move on. Please don’t be that parent lol.

 

[bethstacy]

@sylvie Yeah… I’m not looking forward to this. I am a total mama bear, but I have had practice dealing with my sister’s exes or just supporting and not involving myself, but I hope they dream about what I think about them.

 

[ablessedwoman]

@sylvie Be happy this didn’t happen 5 years into a marriage with kids. She’ll be alright

 

[autumn16]

@sylvie Ohhh, I would be so angry, too! When she’s over her cold and needing an outlet for her own anger and hurt, I’d be burning his Christmas stocking to ashes!

 

[chagol]

@sylvie I don’t have adult children but just wanted to add that you sound like a great mom and I think you’re all going to be just fine in the end.

 

[gbear70]

@sylvie This is her chance to learn how to adult. Part of learning how to adult is getting rid of relationships that don't serve you. Cheating is a super justified reason to break up with someone. All things you probably know. Support her and let her feel the things but don't get too involved.

 

[nagoda]

@sylvie Comfort your child. That's all you can do. It's okay to tell her you're going to miss him, too, as long as you tell her you'll get through it together.

Been there. It really sucks because it's inappropriate to vent the things you want to say to your daughter. Do you have a trusted friend you can call to get things off your chest?

This, too, shall pass. Hang in there.

 

[elakhim]

@sylvie I would advise her to go get tested for std’s. I know it’s not really “the time” to bring something like that up but it’s in her best interest to bring it to her attention

 

[freeindeed64]

@sylvie One of the biggest things my mom did was grieve with me during my breakup. I absolutely needed to know I wasn't alone in my pain. A lot of people give support for those that are hurting but often forget to let people know they aren't alone in their grief.

 

[zombimansimp]

@sylvie Be with the and support her. You can help her cut up his pictures and any clothes he left at your place.

 

[pwsock]

@sylvie It sounds like your daughter has everything under control and is mature enough to see that anger and sadness aren't needed in this situation. He is not someone to cry over or even worth getting angry about and she is trying to get you to understand that. Just be there for your daughter and help her throughout her emotional pain and get her back on track with her life. That's all she really needs right now from the people who love and care about her. Sending positive thoughts your way.

 

[apotheosis00]

@sylvie My mom and dad knew my first boyfriend and I would last. They saw something that I didn't, but regardless, they were supportive throughout the entire relationship. When he broke up with me, my parents continued to keep their comments and thoughts to themselves and supported me when I needed them. Now that I'm a parent, I understand them more.

It's difficult to watch your baby get hurt, but all you can do is be there for her, especially when she cries. She'll appreciate and remember that once she's recovered from the breakup. Your baby will be okay and so will you

 

[alanacrystal142]

@sylvie My daughter is only 6 years old, but now I’m terrified to experience heartbreak with her in the future.

 

[sylvie]

@alanacrystal142 It suuuccckkks. The worst part of parenting is their heartbreak over anything. When they’re little it’s dropping their ice cream. When they’re older it’s not getting into the college they really wanted or this romantic heart break. (Except of course truly tragic things like illnesses)