Exclusively pumping 3 weeks pp.

[zoznoz]

I feel like a shell of a person and am really struggling with the guilt of wanting to switch to formula. Does anyone have any support to offer?

My baby isn’t able to latch so I pump exclusively but I hate it so much and I feel like I’m paying more attention to my pump than my baby. This isn’t how I expected breast feeding to go and I’m having such a hard time deciding to stick it out or switch to formula.

 

[marvin1978]

@zoznoz Don’t feel guilty. I struggled a bit at first when my baby’s GI specialist told us to do puramino instead of breast milk, but when I did, man. It was liberating. My baby was drinking bottles anyways, & he didn’t care what was in them as long as he was fed, &that I was around. The only thing I regret now that he’s exclusively fed formula is that I didn’t do it sooner.

 

[zoznoz]

@marvin1978 Thank you

 

[bettering]

@marvin1978 This. I felt guilty stopping pumping. But I was SO MUCH HAPPIER and got to enjoy time with my baby more. Any guilt I had at the beginning went away very quickly

 

[goldielocks]

@zoznoz Even purely considering the baby and not my own mental health at all, I felt like the time suck of pumping meant that I couldn’t be as good a mom to her. (Not saying anything bad about other pumping moms, just talking about my personal experience).

What made me quit was one time when baby woke up from nap while I was pumping and I was alone with her (so couldn’t have husband attend to her) and I felt super annoyed at her. And I’m like, this is backwards.

 

[zoznoz]

@goldielocks This is exactly how I feel

 

[janadozz]

@goldielocks This is what I currently struggle with! I'm 4 weeks pp and have struggled so much with whether to continue pumping or not. I feel like I would gain so much more time back to spend with baby or to try to rest (which in turn gives me more energy to be a better mom). It also would lessen the stress of trying to entertain her while I pump or trying to squeeze in a pumping session while she's asleep. I also hate that sometimes I feel like I try to force her to get to sleep so I can get pumping. It seems like every other day I say that I'm done, but I just can't bring myself to stop. I don't know what to do

 

[zoznoz]

@janadozz I skipped two pump sessions yesterday and it already feels so amazing. I got to actually snuggle him at night instead of rushing him to sleep so I could pump

 

[cruxifixer]

@janadozz I’m currently in the process of stopping and what’s working for me right now is dropping 1 pumping session every couple of days. I dropped my middle of the night pump yesterday and it was amazing to not have to worry about waking up. I’m currently down to 3 pumps a day, first thing in the morning either before baby wakes up or right after her first bottle when she goes back to sleep, sometime in the middle of the day during a nap and then at night after she is down for the night. My supply has slowly dropped so I just top her off with a little formula after her breastmilk bottles. She was drinking 4-5 oz of breastmilk, but we are currently at 3oz breastmilk and 1-2 oz formula. I do have about 20 6oz bags frozen, I plan on using 1 bag a day after I’m done pumping to get her those small benefits for a little while longer.

 

[crownfair]

@goldielocks I have twins and am a SAHM. I said to myself when I was pregnant that I don’t want to get trapped into pumping where I can’t be present with my babies. Breastmilk might be better than formula (though sibling studies say there’s no difference) but be THERE to me was more important than the possibility of the milk difference making a difference.

I also don’t think I could have produced the combined 80oz they were taking. I’m so much better and happier that I didn’t worry about the fine details of what my babies were eating. Now at a year their favorite foods are ones off the floor (which, while I use a small towel, is also the one I change them on )

 

[cassidyshay]

@goldielocks I remember this exact thing happening to me too. Made me so upset with the whole situation we were in

 

[emiejo327]

@zoznoz Lots of encouragement about the guilt on here . I had a difficult time making enough milk and my period came back 6 weeks post partum so I stopped trying to pump ( baby was also underweight at hospital so been supplemental formula since discharge)
And after a week or so of not pumping and seeing my baby was still happy and healthy and growing and strong I felt better .
But looking all through this sub helped me a lot .
You’re already a great mom and will be great mom no matter how you choose to feed your baby

 

[hamstrungfool]

@zoznoz I went through this in the last 5 weeks and came here for support too. At 1 one pp I was in that spot. For some reason I briefly fell in love with exclusively pumping and I had this whole system. By last week, 4 week pp, I was drained. The last 5 weeks have been a roller coaster. My advice is do what’s best for you and baby. For me, I felt like I couldn’t be fully present for baby because of pumping. I was supplying for my baby nutritionally, but I was sacrificing parts of myself that I could have used in loving and caring for him.

So we are weaning him to formula. It wasn’t easy to make the choice, but baby is happy with either decision (in my situation and yours too).

My friend gave me new mom affirmation cards and one says “When it comes to feeding our babies, things don’t always go as planned, and that’s normal. No matter how challenging it gets, always remember that unlike others before you, you live in an era where you have OPTIONS for feeding your baby and that is an amazing thing!”

 

[zoznoz]

@hamstrungfool I hate the feeling of not being present for him while I’m pumping, it’s the worst part of it. Yes I’m feeding him but at what cost? Thank you!

 

[charleeboy]

@zoznoz Ahh this is exactly what happened to me, too. She just would not latch and I felt chained to the pump. It got to the point where I just knew I could be a better mom if I switched to formula, and I did. It's ok: you can give yourself permission to stop pumping. It's a great decision that will allow you to bond with your baby.

The guilt will lessen over time. Trust me. No one will ask you how you're feeding your baby a year from now. They won't ask if they were formula fed or breast fed on their kindergarten application. Babe got the colostrum from you so they've gotten the real important stuff.

 

[zoznoz]

@charleeboy Thank you

 

[georgefeege]

@zoznoz I completely understand how hard it is to make the decision, but ultimately you’ve got to do what’s best for you and your family, and mental health! I have a 6 week old, as well as a 2 year old toddler. Breastfeeding was challenging, I was already supplementing with formula, then tried pumping, but ultimately went to exclusively formula and I can say I’m much happier, and my baby deserves to have a happier mama. My toddler was mostly formula fed as well and he’s doing well and thriving, so as they say fed is best!

 

[noah13]

@zoznoz You got nothing to feel guilty for. Baby will not be deprived. Get your life back and enjoy your baby.

 

[jess333]

@zoznoz I exclusively pumped for the first few weeks and felt similarly. I agonized about the decision to quit. I stopped at about 5-6 weeks and I haven’t looked back once since then (am now at about 10w pp). My therapist helped me reframe it as a decision to wean to prioritize my mental health, rather than quitting. My mental health improved so much and I got to spend more time with my baby and also feel more present with him. I felt like I knew in my gut that I couldn’t continue, and it sounds like you know what the right choice for you is. Good luck!

 

[thisisme123]

@zoznoz There’s absolutely no shame or guilt EVER in chosing the best for you and your baby. Choosing to spend time with your baby, choosing your mental health so you can love on your baby is ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS the right choice.

I don’t pump. It sucks nothing but my will to live. I loathe that thing. I struggled when I chose to switch but very quickly fell completely in love with formula feeding. It eased up so many things for us, I got to just gaze in my babies eyes whenever I fed her. It was phenomenal

Chose health and happiness guilt free always. You aren’t taking anything away from baby, they will still be fed and they will get a happier mom.