Please convince me that it’s okay to quit pumping

[captainpicard]

@msl74pc My partner is always telling me that if it's affecting you mentally or physically, then it's not worth it. He told me to think of it this way, "He would rather our son have a mum that is in a mentally good state than a mum that is mentally drained & physically drained."

You're not gonna look back & remember all the times you pumped for your baby. Sure you will, but I doubt it would be happy memories, but you will remember the memories that you & your baby had. You don't want to look back one day & regret that you were tied to the pump.

I've been exclusively pumping for 13 weeks now, and I know how HARD it is & also the GUILT when you sometimes contemplate quitting. My goal was 1 year but it's looking like I'm gonna quit before then because it is EXHAUSTING but just imagine all the time you're gonna get back to spend with your baby, relax, etc. I can't wait!!!

Also, FED is best! You are doing great, Mama

Edit: than not then

 

[coleton_7]

@msl74pc Ultimately this is a decision only you can make for yourself and your baby. Whatever you choose, you already have given so much to your baby. Your baby has received a whole month of breastmilk — nothing changes that. And while people can argue about the benefits of breastmilk (personally, the only significant benefit of importance to me was the antibodies), having a healthy, present, mentally healthy mom
Is very important too.

Personal anecdote: I pumped for 2 months — I started dropping pumps around 1 month. One night I decided to sleep through the middle of the night pump. Getting the full 5 hours of sleep during my “off duty” night shift was AMAZING. I slowly dropped pumps over time and at 2 months pp packed up the pump and all of the accessories. It was bittersweet and I had some guilt. But I also saw how getting sleep and not pumping and cleaning all the dang parts all the time was allowing me to spend more time with my baby and be the best version of me for him. He’s now 1.5 years old and is thriving and so smart! (And the transition to whole milk is at a year, so at that point pumping vs formula no longer mattered)

 

[bhangraavenue]

@msl74pc I hated pumping with a passion and wish Id stopped sooner. Formula Life is a good one!

 

[fulltimemusicministry]

@msl74pc I combo feed, and my breastfeeding journey has been relatively easy all things considered. That being said, I told my husband that if I had even the smallest roadblock in breastfeeding I would have quit so fast. You've already done way more than I would have if I were in your shoes. So cut yourself some slack, be kind to yourself, be proud of what you've done, and do what you gotta do.

 

[peacedisciple]

@msl74pc I recently fought that battle with myself. I was combo feeding because I never made enough breast milk even after trying everything people suggested. Literally everything. I started getting frustrated when I only pumped a small amount, and my evening pumps made me overstimulated and moody. Two weeks ago I started dropping pumps slowly. I'm down to one per day right now and I feel so much better. I feel like a person again. And my baby is perfectly happy and fine on formula. No difference at all in her. What's best for you, is best for your baby, because you'll be happier so you'll be a better parent.

 

[kiosklim]

@msl74pc I'm combo feeding rn (nursing + formula). I'm planning to wean in a couple of weeks (4 months pp) and I'm not even planning to pump! I triple fed with my first then settled for pumping + formula, so am so done with it. My second one latched well so I was pretty happy with just nursing. Believe me, you're not missing anything good if you don't pump.

 

[ladywalsh]

@msl74pc Yes, it's okay to stop pumping.

Doesn't even need a reason.

It's not quitting/ giving up, it's doing the right thing for your baby (healthy mum, that is!)

Feeding a baby is important, but it doesn't matter if directly from breast, pumped breast milk, formula or any combination. There's nothing that will distinguish those babies in the future --- because it doesn't make a difference to them! However, it can make a great difference to you! Your health, physical and mental, your needs matter!!!

 

[jaks]

@msl74pc I was a stubborn exclusive breastfeeding mom for quite early days of my baby(till 7-8wks) and I always said my baby sleeps very less than the babies his age. And then I observed my milk supply isn’t sufficient for his appetite and I started to top up with formula and now my baby also sleeps like babies of his age (he is 12 weeks) and we’re both at peace

 

[iwannaliveinspired]

@msl74pc I know OP meant no harm but I don’t like posts like this. People act like formula feeding is so horrible that they have to be convinced not to do it. If you don’t want to pump or BF anymore just don’t do it, your baby is going to be fine.

 

[baresimoda]

@msl74pc This was me with my first child! Your sanity/health is priority #1 so you can take care of your baby. My “baby” is 4.5 years old now and wonderful! I have a 4 month old who is strictly formula fed and she is wonderful too. Formula is great!!!! It makes me sad that it gets such a bad rep.

 

[ranked]

@msl74pc I did EFF from the start. My nipples are just insanely sensitive (like everyone’s lol) and I couldn’t stand the sensation of it. Even when I hand expressed I hated how it felt. Maybe if it was like once a day it would be tolerable. But it’s around the clock constant.

I wasted so much time postpartum feeling guilty about formula feeding, and my 11 month old son is perfectly happy and healthy. If I had known what I knew now, I never would have made my postpartum experience worse with pointless guilt.

 

[whit87]

@msl74pc Pumping is super hard work - I'm in the process of quitting myself with my little one about to hit 12 weeks. Not been exclusively pumping but I really struggle to juggle baby, things that need doing, pumping and just taking care of myself with even the basics (eating, showering, sleeping). I would have loved to continue longer but it's just exhausting. I never managed to exclusively pump due to low supply and that's hard enough...I only managed to pump three times yesterday and ended up with clogged ducts and just felt rubbish and guilty. Mental health wise I feel like I resent pumping which isn't great. My little one doesn't care - she loves her kendamil.

You've done amazing getting to a month exclusively pumping, especially with the extra obstacles life has thrown at you! Every drop will have given your little one the benefits with antibodies etc - and they'll continue to get the benefits as you taper off. Modern formula is so nutritious too, so please don't feel guilty about that either

Your little one will benefit tremendously from you being mentally healthier and happier (never mind the freedom you'll get from not being tethered to a machine) xx

 

[nj123]

@msl74pc It's OK. I'm in the process of stopping now. I already do things, productive things, with the extra time it's fabulous. Can't wait to be done.

 

[kempertod]

@msl74pc I didn’t respond to pumping.
I have heart surgery in 2 months.
They found a very large hole in my heart during this pregnancy.
I found out I won’t be able to breastfeed after my operation because of all the thinners I’ll need to stay on for 6 months.
I wanted to pump like a crazy woman until the surgery but it only hurts me. Nothing really comes out.

I exclusively breastfed my first. She never owned a bottle and it really bothered me that I couldn’t even pump for him.

In the end I’ve made me peace this round with my mental well being.

With my first I thought I was a good mom because I was full sacrifice. I gave my everything to her. I thought that’s how you love. In that process I decayed a bit and had a lot of stress trying to ever feel like I was making it.

I’m more mature this round and I’m coming around to lessons from my first. The happier I am, the more rested I am, the healthier I am both mentally and physically the better mom and wife I am. The more energy I have to sustain my friendships and the more energy I have to keep being me.

I need to be ok. I need to be functioning.

My family needs that from me.
The better I am the better everyone else is.

 

[bazman1]

@msl74pc Man, I was losing my mind trying to exclusively pump. I was so exhausted and tired and could not do it consistently and had the same problems with clogged ducts. Everyone made me feel so miserable for quitting. My spouse, my family members, my friends, and every person ever on Reddit lol. I really wish I would have had this subreddit at the time.
I quit at 5 weeks. We had a trial and error bit with formula because he had a hard time ooping. But, we landed on one that works and he’s now 5mo, formula fed, happy and healthy. And his mom has time to hang out with him and not be constantly tired and miserable.
I think if I would have kept going trying to breastfeed it would have ruined our relationship along with my relationships with a lot of other people in my life.
If you’re not happy, switch. Your baby deserves a happy mom, and there’s nothing wrong with formula.
(Truly not trying to brag)
I was formula fed, and my spouse was as well, I hit my developmental milestones early, and my spouse right on time, and we’re both extremely academically intelligent on top of being perfectly healthy.

 

[msl74pc]

@bazman1 Yep, I ended up quitting at about the same time and it was the best decision ever!! Similarly to your situation though, my boy is having a really hard time pooping right now. We use enfamil neuropro gentlease, would you mind sharing what you’re using?

 

[bazman1]

@msl74pc We use the same,
We started with just enfamil gentle-ease, and then tried to go with similac sensitive which was a nightmare for my son, he started to refuse eating after 3 days of doing way better, and then we went back to the neuro pro almost 2 months ago. He still only poops one-two times a day, but he’s not always screaming from a bellyache anymore.

 

[msl74pc]

@bazman1 good to know that it might get better with time!! Right now my boy is only going anywhere from once a day to once every three days and I feel so bad we’ve been using prune juice to help in the meantime

 

[bazman1]

@msl74pc I get it man! I started giving my little one solids at 5 months and that’s helped with his pooping a lot too, he’s gone at least once a day, consistently since we started. That might help when the time comes as well

 

[dan9999]

@msl74pc Studies show that breastfed babies have better outcomes. But when normalized for siblings and identical socioeconomic situations, formula fed babies actually score higher intellectually.