Please convince me that it’s okay to quit pumping
- Thread starter msl74pc
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Switch to formula, mama!bigcat1967
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@msl74pc I quit pumping with my first when she was like 3 months and just exclusively breastfed on demand. It was just way too much for me. And then I exclusively breastfed my second and now I EFF my third and I honestly love it. I didn’t get postpartum like I did with my other two and I think it’s because of the load I’ve taken off of myself. I personally never really feel all that bad making these decisions if it’s to better my mental health because my kids need a happy healthy mom first and foremost.
slayer8995
New member
@msl74pc What’s best for your baby is for you to be a happy & healthy Mommy, you said you feel miserable being tired to a machine (I can relate my boys both were never able to breastfeed directly we had to measure each mL they took so I was only able to pump.) It’s amazing you made it a full month pumping exclusively & you should be proud of yourself, don’t feel guilty about stopping if that’s what’s best for your mental health
@msl74pc Since you asked for people who used formula exclusively and it turned out fine:
My kids have never had a drop of breastmilk. It was a choice I made before I even got pregnant, because I knew it would not be in any way any less good for them than breastmilk, and I prefer it this way. They're both healthy and happy. The elder is 3 years old and now eating cheerios found in the carseat cushion. The nearly 4 month old already rolls both ways and has remained healthy even with an older sibbling attending daycare 3 days a week. I'm very happy with the formula and so are my kids. I love cradling my little one, gaze into those big blue eyes, and nuzzling my face into the top of that little baby head while feeding the bottle. It's so cute when they start to use their hands to push it away then pull it back to stop and start feeding thru the feed, mastering control of their environment, and seeing their parent be proud of them for their developing motor coordination.
Your child will want for nothing on the formula.
My kids have never had a drop of breastmilk. It was a choice I made before I even got pregnant, because I knew it would not be in any way any less good for them than breastmilk, and I prefer it this way. They're both healthy and happy. The elder is 3 years old and now eating cheerios found in the carseat cushion. The nearly 4 month old already rolls both ways and has remained healthy even with an older sibbling attending daycare 3 days a week. I'm very happy with the formula and so are my kids. I love cradling my little one, gaze into those big blue eyes, and nuzzling my face into the top of that little baby head while feeding the bottle. It's so cute when they start to use their hands to push it away then pull it back to stop and start feeding thru the feed, mastering control of their environment, and seeing their parent be proud of them for their developing motor coordination.
Your child will want for nothing on the formula.
jemartin80
New member
@msl74pc I don’t want to influence your decision in any way but here’s my experience:
I know it’s hard and it’s normal for you to have these feelings but ask yourself this:
“What advice would you give your best friend if they were in this situation?”
sending you love and just know you’re doing great!
- I couldn’t breastfeed because of shallow nipples and nipple shields didn’t work out for little one
- started to exclusively pump ever since I was in the hospital
- pumped for one month and I had great success with milk production but was feeling terrible and had really bad psychological and physical symptoms which later my doctor diagnosed as D-MER
- decided to quit for my mental health and I felt very guilty the entire time, it took me one week to wean slowly dropping the amount of time I would pump and sessions as well. Engorged breasts and pain only lasted about three days and hot shower + massage did the trick for me (plus some ibuprofen for discomfort)
I know it’s hard and it’s normal for you to have these feelings but ask yourself this:
“What advice would you give your best friend if they were in this situation?”
sending you love and just know you’re doing great!@msl74pc It more than okay! One of my husband's cousins told them this and it really put things into perspective: In a room full of adults can you tell who was Breastfed or formula fed? The answer is no!
In the grand scheme of your baby's s life, this stage (it truly does go by so fast!) is such a small chapter and a mentally healthy mother is so important!
In the grand scheme of your baby's s life, this stage (it truly does go by so fast!) is such a small chapter and a mentally healthy mother is so important!
@msl74pc I pumped for 4 weeks & switching to formula was the best decision I made . I also suffered with chronic blocked ducts and had to take antibiotics for mastitis - it was agony & I couldn’t even hold my baby comfortably. My son is now nearly 12 weeks and thriving. You won’t regret it, will just regret not doing it sooner! X
peopleperson9503
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jackrabbit321
New member
motherofduo
New member
@msl74pc Fed is best and a happy, healthy mom = a happy, healthy baby.
I wish I had given up pumping sooner. I went 3mo and my mental health was in shambles. I had PPD/PPA and I literally hated pumping and thought I’d made a huge mistake having my son. The day I stopped pumping it felt like the clouds parted and I literally felt this huge weight lift off my shoulders. I’ve been feeding my son formula ever since and now I actually love being a mom.
Do what’s right for your mental health mama. Baby will be perfectly okay on formula
I wish I had given up pumping sooner. I went 3mo and my mental health was in shambles. I had PPD/PPA and I literally hated pumping and thought I’d made a huge mistake having my son. The day I stopped pumping it felt like the clouds parted and I literally felt this huge weight lift off my shoulders. I’ve been feeding my son formula ever since and now I actually love being a mom.
Do what’s right for your mental health mama. Baby will be perfectly okay on formula
@msl74pc I pumped with my first for 4 months (exclusively) and with my second for 7 weeks (combo from the start) - both are happy healthy little boys and it makes ZERO difference. Quitting is the best feeling and both times allowed me to truly enjoy my babies. I wish I’d quit sooner with my first. Do it with zero guilt!
@msl74pc Quit pumping. No, seriously quit pumping and don’t feel an ounce of guilt about it. I have 3 happy healthy formula fed kids. I tried to breast feed with all 3 and hated it so I stopped. Pumped for a few weeks then stopped that too. The weight that is lifted and the freedom you feel is indescribable when you’re exhausted and struggling. Do it girl! Your baby will be better for having a happy healthy mom.
ellasanvictores
New member
@msl74pc I don’t have advice but I’m going through this myself. I started weaning a few days ago. Seeing my milk stash in the fridge get used up without being able to replenish it has been triggering as well. I had my baby 3 weeks ago and after breastfeeding fell thought I did exclusive pumping but I sobbed every time I had to do it. But I feel like a POS for stopping so early when my body is perfectly capable of making milk. Everyone has told me to give myself grace but I’m having so much trouble and wondering non stop if I’m making the right choice, because I haven’t been as upset during the weaning pumps. It’s all so hard.
@msl74pc NOT ONLY IS IT OK, IT CAN BE THE RIGHT CHOICE!!!
My postpartum friend, it’s the best choice I could’ve made. Like you, I spent my LO’s first month almost exclusively pumping. When he was only 5 days old, our pediatrician told us he was dehydrated and had severe jaundice. Until that appointment, I had been breastfeeding on demand. My nipples were bleeding, I had bruises on my areolas, he would cry and fall asleep at the breast, he had issues positioning himself for feeding due to torticolis and my supply sucked due to a breast reduction surgery I had. At the baby friendly hospital I gave birth at, of course the lactation consultants told me about stories of women who had mastectomies and were able to breastfeed. They made me think I could do it. I quickly realized that I couldn’t and another lactation consultant told me to pump. I did. I power pumped. I took every supplement and lactation food I could find. I pumped until I got blisters on my areolas and mastitis. I pumped until all I could pump was blood.
I said F that!!! I was doing all of that and I couldn’t even enjoy my baby because of all the time it took.
At one month, I slowly started weaning. All I can say is: I FINALLY ENJOY BEING A MOTHER!!!
Just quit, my dear. Your mental health and YOUR BABY will thank you later!
Hugs and love in this process!!!
My postpartum friend, it’s the best choice I could’ve made. Like you, I spent my LO’s first month almost exclusively pumping. When he was only 5 days old, our pediatrician told us he was dehydrated and had severe jaundice. Until that appointment, I had been breastfeeding on demand. My nipples were bleeding, I had bruises on my areolas, he would cry and fall asleep at the breast, he had issues positioning himself for feeding due to torticolis and my supply sucked due to a breast reduction surgery I had. At the baby friendly hospital I gave birth at, of course the lactation consultants told me about stories of women who had mastectomies and were able to breastfeed. They made me think I could do it. I quickly realized that I couldn’t and another lactation consultant told me to pump. I did. I power pumped. I took every supplement and lactation food I could find. I pumped until I got blisters on my areolas and mastitis. I pumped until all I could pump was blood.
I said F that!!! I was doing all of that and I couldn’t even enjoy my baby because of all the time it took.
At one month, I slowly started weaning. All I can say is: I FINALLY ENJOY BEING A MOTHER!!!
Just quit, my dear. Your mental health and YOUR BABY will thank you later!
Hugs and love in this process!!!
ronandcarol
New member
@msl74pc Wow literally you and I are on the exact same journey (minus I haven’t had mastitis yet, but my ducts are so clogged my OB prescribed them cuz she thinks that’s where I am headed. Yesterday I decided that I was done with EP and tomorrow I’ll be taking the pill to start the weane off process.
My boy will be a month old tomorrow and I was hoping to provide him breastmilk till 6 months, but my mental health has declined so much with those clogged ducts that I need to quit to be there for my son.
OP I’m sending you the best of vibes. You are not quitting anything, you are just chosing a different path to get to the same destination: a happy mom and a happy fed baby. It’s formula time!
My boy will be a month old tomorrow and I was hoping to provide him breastmilk till 6 months, but my mental health has declined so much with those clogged ducts that I need to quit to be there for my son.
OP I’m sending you the best of vibes. You are not quitting anything, you are just chosing a different path to get to the same destination: a happy mom and a happy fed baby. It’s formula time!
ldtorres77
New member
@msl74pc I stopped and have felt more free since. Seriously my entire mood changed when I stopped. I was an under producer so that destroyed my mental health. Once I finally let go and realized my baby is happy, healthy, and gaining weight I was able to stop. Now I actually enjoy time WITH my baby instead of feeling like I’m constantly hooked up to something and just watching her play. Now I get to actually play with her.
@msl74pc Ok two things that helped me when I was in a similar spot of wanting to call it but feeling guilty -
First, they don’t separate kindergarten classes by “breast milk babies” and “formula babies”. It feels SO HUGE right now, but in the grand scheme of things this isnt a make or break it thing (even though it feels like it and that’s totally valid cause you are in intense mama mode right now).
Second, they have found ceramic baby bottles from 3,000 years ago when mamas used animal milk to feed their babies. Bottle/formula feeding IS as natural as breast feeding and it’s part of the reason humans have thrived throughout history, because mamas were able to use whatever tools they needed to keep babies healthy and fed.
Hope this helps, stay strong, (it’s silly but) you got this. Mine are 2 and 4 now, and they delight me every day
First, they don’t separate kindergarten classes by “breast milk babies” and “formula babies”. It feels SO HUGE right now, but in the grand scheme of things this isnt a make or break it thing (even though it feels like it and that’s totally valid cause you are in intense mama mode right now).
Second, they have found ceramic baby bottles from 3,000 years ago when mamas used animal milk to feed their babies. Bottle/formula feeding IS as natural as breast feeding and it’s part of the reason humans have thrived throughout history, because mamas were able to use whatever tools they needed to keep babies healthy and fed.
Hope this helps, stay strong, (it’s silly but) you got this. Mine are 2 and 4 now, and they delight me every day