@vaccine Absolutely agree. Frankly I don’t even like the term “breastfeeding relationship” because it implies that breastfeeding is anything more than a cute little parasite sucking nutrients out of your titties. There’s really absolutely nothing in it for mom, because you don’t bond with your baby any less with bottle feeding.
Please convince me that it’s okay to quit pumping
- Thread starter msl74pc
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wholigan11
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@msl74pc I'm in a similar situation. My LO is about 5.5 weeks old and I've decided to stop pumping. Even with the right size flange, it's been a total hassle for not much output. It's uncomfortable, time consuming... I want to be present with my baby, not worrying about pumping on top of everything else going on postpartum.
We've been combo feeding since birth. I really wanted to breastfeed but had a difficult birth and a nightmare experience at the hospital (especially with nurses trying to "help" me with lactation). I have so many friends who EBF and pumped... and were absolutely miserable. Nearly all of them have said some version of "Don't do what I did! I almost lost my mind!"
I don't need to know all the details of your story to say: you have permission to choose. You know yourself and your family best. There is nothing morally superior about breast feeding or sticking to pumping. Especially if pumping is painful and you're having issues like described, stopping is a compassionate, responsive choice to have on the table.
You may already be doing so, but I might recommend talking to your OBGYN (if you like them), a lactation consultant, or even a postpartum doula about how to decrease and eventually stop pumping- just to try and be proactive about decreasing chances you'll have additional issues with clogged ducts, mastitis, etc.
We've been combo feeding since birth. I really wanted to breastfeed but had a difficult birth and a nightmare experience at the hospital (especially with nurses trying to "help" me with lactation). I have so many friends who EBF and pumped... and were absolutely miserable. Nearly all of them have said some version of "Don't do what I did! I almost lost my mind!"
I don't need to know all the details of your story to say: you have permission to choose. You know yourself and your family best. There is nothing morally superior about breast feeding or sticking to pumping. Especially if pumping is painful and you're having issues like described, stopping is a compassionate, responsive choice to have on the table.
You may already be doing so, but I might recommend talking to your OBGYN (if you like them), a lactation consultant, or even a postpartum doula about how to decrease and eventually stop pumping- just to try and be proactive about decreasing chances you'll have additional issues with clogged ducts, mastitis, etc.
flowersforever
New member
@msl74pc There’s nothing wrong with switching!! My LO is 4 months now, but I had struggled with low supply and she wasn’t the best at breastfeeding so I also exclusively pumped for a month. Since I didn’t have the best supply I did not have any clogged ducts or anything so I can’t relate to that aspect, but after needing to supplement anyway towards the end of the month I decided to switch to fully formula because it was all becoming too much for me to keep up with, especially once my husband went back to work. I did deal with a lot of guilt quitting, but was also struggling with PPD/PPA. But once I was done and she was fully on formula, I felt so much better, she was and still is thriving and doesn’t care what she’s drinking. Mentally it was such a weight off my shoulders to be done and I’m so glad I made that decision!!! Whatever choice you make is the right one, and whatever is best for both you and your baby, because you need to take care of yourself too
jesusreigns777
New member
@msl74pc Pumping sucks! I enjoyed nursing but both my babies weren’t very good at it, my supply sucked, and pumping is just not a realistic alternative in my eyes. It’s the worst of both worlds- breastfeeding and bottle feeding, plus it adds in a bunch of its own downsides. If formula wasn’t an option, then yes it would be worth the struggle. But formula is a great option for your baby! My daughter was almost exclusively formula fed and she’s the smartest, happiest little girl I’ve ever seen. And my baby son is thriving on formula as well. And I’m well rested and able to love on both of them all the time, as opposed to being attached to a pump or being sick with mastitis or exhausted from middle of the night feeds. It’s a personal decision, for some people it’s worth it. But it’s ok if it’s not worth it to you! Most of the parents in the group chose to abandon breastfeeding for one reason or another. I promise we all love our kids just as much as breastfeeding parents!
yepimonfire
New member
@msl74pc Hey, I’m in a similar situation to you! I have a 6 week old and I’d been exclusively pumping since the beginning. I had an oversupply so pumping every 3 hours was necessary to not have it be painful. But that frequency was so taxing and mentally draining on me, especially when my husband went back to work.
I wasn’t able to hit every 3 hours when it was just me taking care of her so I also developed clogged ducts and unfortunately mastitis around 3.5 weeks. Gosh, the fever with the chills then sweats and body aches was awful while trying to care for a baby. Not even accounting for the boob pain. I’m so sorry you’re going through that right now
I started taking sunflower lechticin and that really helped me (my doctor recommended.) I had Cabo cream on hand since I was ready to quit pumping prior to the mastitis and I used it during that time (*note I have no idea if it’s recommended or not, I was desperate and ready to quit pumping altogether but it did work for me). Also putting a heating pad on your breasts and lightly massaging before pumping seemed to help as well (my dr also recommended this)
I currently am still pumping but was able to reduce my frequency down to every 6 hours which to me is manageable right now. I also felt the same guilt like okay I can produce the breast milk she needs, I just mentally cannot keep this up. My supply dropped after mastitis and with the reduced pumping, I’m not making enough to fully feed her, so I’m supplementing 1-2 bottles of formula a day right now. For me, easing into formula has helped me feel better about it. She’s doing great with the formula bottles and I plan on working down to pumping 3x a day then 2x then stopping completely over the next month or so and she’ll be exclusively on formula. And I feel really good about getting her on formula! The guilt has pretty much gone away
I wasn’t able to hit every 3 hours when it was just me taking care of her so I also developed clogged ducts and unfortunately mastitis around 3.5 weeks. Gosh, the fever with the chills then sweats and body aches was awful while trying to care for a baby. Not even accounting for the boob pain. I’m so sorry you’re going through that right now
I started taking sunflower lechticin and that really helped me (my doctor recommended.) I had Cabo cream on hand since I was ready to quit pumping prior to the mastitis and I used it during that time (*note I have no idea if it’s recommended or not, I was desperate and ready to quit pumping altogether but it did work for me). Also putting a heating pad on your breasts and lightly massaging before pumping seemed to help as well (my dr also recommended this)
I currently am still pumping but was able to reduce my frequency down to every 6 hours which to me is manageable right now. I also felt the same guilt like okay I can produce the breast milk she needs, I just mentally cannot keep this up. My supply dropped after mastitis and with the reduced pumping, I’m not making enough to fully feed her, so I’m supplementing 1-2 bottles of formula a day right now. For me, easing into formula has helped me feel better about it. She’s doing great with the formula bottles and I plan on working down to pumping 3x a day then 2x then stopping completely over the next month or so and she’ll be exclusively on formula. And I feel really good about getting her on formula! The guilt has pretty much gone away
@msl74pc I breastfed/pumped for 2 months and switched over to formula. My baby is so much happier and I am so much happier! Her feeding is much more predictable (she’s almost 3 months now) which makes our days a little more structured, but also freer. I can take her out places without the fear that she’ll get hungry and start hollering.
My mental health has gotten so much better too. The predictability helps, and also knowing how much food she is getting and just seeing her happier. I was always worried about my supply and if she was actually getting enough, so my anxiety and stress level dropped (at least about feeding. I have plenty of anxiety about other things being a FTM
)
You do what’s best for you and your baby. If your body or mind is telling you to stop pumping, listen to it
I promise you baby will be happy, healthy, and thrive!
If you do stop, there will be a significant hormone drop. It felt like I was mourning, which doesn’t help when you’re already feeling a type of way about stopping. But I promise it only lasts a short while. I’m 3 weeks out from completely stopping and those emotions are all a hazy memory now.
My mental health has gotten so much better too. The predictability helps, and also knowing how much food she is getting and just seeing her happier. I was always worried about my supply and if she was actually getting enough, so my anxiety and stress level dropped (at least about feeding. I have plenty of anxiety about other things being a FTM
) You do what’s best for you and your baby. If your body or mind is telling you to stop pumping, listen to it
I promise you baby will be happy, healthy, and thrive! If you do stop, there will be a significant hormone drop. It felt like I was mourning, which doesn’t help when you’re already feeling a type of way about stopping. But I promise it only lasts a short while. I’m 3 weeks out from completely stopping and those emotions are all a hazy memory now.
@msl74pc Hey! you don't need any reason to switch to formula feed. its 100% okay no matter what. some people think breastfeeding is the only way to feed your baby and its not. release the guilt and understand that a mentally healthy mother is way better than any advantages that MAY come from breast milk
annethat1girl
New member
@msl74pc I switched from triple feeding to EFF at 4 weeks, and it saved my sanity. I was able to spend so much more time with my baby by EFF. She is now a very healthy, happy, loving, and smart, almost 2 year old. There is no difference between her and her cousin, who was EBF. We did what worked best for us, and my only regret is not switching to formula sooner. The best thing you can do for your baby is give her a happy and healthy Mom
marvin1978
New member
kareemmontreal
New member
@msl74pc My daughter was only 5 lbs 3 oz (born at 37w5d) when she was born due to IUGR, so she was combo fed from the beginning so she wouldn’t drop too much weight. Because she was so tiny, she couldn’t pass her car seat test. When she also failed the car bed test, my doctors sent us to a children’s hospital for more testing.
Since she was early, I delivered via C-section, and the night my milk came in, she got checked into the NICU, our BF journey got really stalled. I was pumping when I could but got sidetracked due to the stress of her NICU stay. I pumped for about 2-3 weeks after we came home (always supplementing with formula).
My mental health was in the garbage. I felt like if I wasn’t feeding her, I was pumping. After I switched to only formula, I’ve never looked back.
My hormones leveled out really fast and the bouts of crying post birth stopped. Baby girl has gained so much weight that you’d never be able to tell she was practically a premie at birth. I never get clogged ducts, cracked nipples, leak throughs, etc. The best part: I always know how much my baby has eaten.
Since she was early, I delivered via C-section, and the night my milk came in, she got checked into the NICU, our BF journey got really stalled. I was pumping when I could but got sidetracked due to the stress of her NICU stay. I pumped for about 2-3 weeks after we came home (always supplementing with formula).
My mental health was in the garbage. I felt like if I wasn’t feeding her, I was pumping. After I switched to only formula, I’ve never looked back.
My hormones leveled out really fast and the bouts of crying post birth stopped. Baby girl has gained so much weight that you’d never be able to tell she was practically a premie at birth. I never get clogged ducts, cracked nipples, leak throughs, etc. The best part: I always know how much my baby has eaten.
@kareemmontreal Just wanted to say I’m sorry for that rough start, and I’m so happy to read your daughter is thriving my son was also born at 37+5, 5 lbs and we struggled to latch due to his mouth simply being way too small. No c-section here, but breach birth.
Now he’s almost double his birth weight at 7 weeks! And since I stopped pumping and trying to breastfeed, I went from crying, stressing and feeling inadequate to just feeling great. It’s amazing to actually be able to bond and enjoy the rest of the newborn stage
my son was also born at 37+5, 5 lbs and we struggled to latch due to his mouth simply being way too small. No c-section here, but breach birth. Now he’s almost double his birth weight at 7 weeks! And since I stopped pumping and trying to breastfeed, I went from crying, stressing and feeling inadequate to just feeling great. It’s amazing to actually be able to bond and enjoy the rest of the newborn stage
kareemmontreal
New member
@kareemmontreal Couldn’t agree more 
@msl74pc I’ve been EP for 6.5 months and I’ve just dropped to 3-4 ppd. I hope to be done by 7 months which will be hard because I get 75 oz a day, so preventing mastitis and clogs will be super hard. If have 1500oz in the freezer but honestly I don’t even care, I’m actually excited to start formula because my son does NOT tolerate my BM well, he is a major spitter upper. So, I’m thinking I’ll be able to find a formula that helps him (hopefully). I am mostly looking forward to spending those extra few hours a day with my son instead of hooked up to a machine. I also will love not waking up at 4 am when my son is peacefully asleep, just to have to pump because my engorgement woke me up. Also, I’m sorry people appear to be downvoting you, there’s no shame in asking for help to quit. I am also guilt ridden especially since I’d be giving up an oversupply that many people would kill for.
hawinseity
New member
cookie1720
New member
@msl74pc Killing yourself over pumping is not what’s best for your baby. If formula helps you and your mental health, that far outweighs any theoretical benefits of breastmilk. You are not quitting, it sounds like you’ve tried really hard to make it work and that’s admirable, but there’s no reason to suffer for the sake of giving breastmilk. Your child doesn’t care. They need a happy mama. I switched to formula 100% for my mental health and I did feel some guilt at first, but it was the right decision for sure
@msl74pc I quit after 3 weeks because it was not going well at all and I felt SO much better immediately. I also felt guilting for wanting to stop but once I did I actually got to bond with my baby and not have my days revolve around the pumping schedule. I felt so much less anxious about my days and not worrying if I’d be home from errands in time to pump or if I had time to focus on my dog.
My husband was happy to have less things to wash
but he also saw it was just too mentally and emotionally taxing on me and supported my decision to stop and he saw how much better it made me feel. It’s also helped him to not have to be feeling like he’s taking care of everyone and everything so much now that I’m not spending so much time having to pump and wash parts and recover and all that jazz. Switching to formula helped both of us AND the baby 
My husband was happy to have less things to wash
but he also saw it was just too mentally and emotionally taxing on me and supported my decision to stop and he saw how much better it made me feel. It’s also helped him to not have to be feeling like he’s taking care of everyone and everything so much now that I’m not spending so much time having to pump and wash parts and recover and all that jazz. Switching to formula helped both of us AND the baby @msl74pc I am in the process of weaning from EP right now and my 10 week old baby is on 90% formula and doing absolutely great. I am starting to feel so much excitement about not being in pain all the time anymore - after pregnancy and recovering from a C Section, I believe I deserve to get a break from the pain. I slept a full 8 hours last night and it was incredible, I was in such a great mood and played with my baby all morning and enjoyed his little smiles and gurgles. It has been such a burden lifted! I am also on antibiotics for mastitis and trying to wean while I’m on them to prevent another bout. The mastitis was the final straw for me, I don’t ever want to feel that way again.
Your baby will be safe and fed on formula and will be so happy to have a mom who is able to be happy and present with them. You deserve to be comfortable and happy too!
Your baby will be safe and fed on formula and will be so happy to have a mom who is able to be happy and present with them. You deserve to be comfortable and happy too!
@msl74pc I pumped for a month straight every 2 hrs trying to get my milk to come in. I had a preemie and nicu baby. All I wanted to do was make her stronger and in my mind the only way was with BM. I would cry and cry to my husband that we wouldn’t bound if we didn’t BF. She would never get stronger or better if I didn’t BF. I took meds trying to get my milk in. Ate so much freaking oatmeal and lactation cookies. Drank water till my eyeballs were swimming. Towards the end of the first month a baby Brezza showed up on our porch. My husband had ordered it to make the transition easy for me. I was very against it! At her one month visit, T
he pediatrician said “ you have tried everything. From meds to eating and drinking. Shes got severe reflux possibly from switching back and forth let’s go on formula full time. “
During the first month I text a friend I knew who exclusively FF. She kept saying it’s the best thing I ever did for my mental health! Just switch you’ll be glad.
Guess what?!!! Best thing we ever did! My Lo was slow to gain weight and had severe reflux till 3.5 turns out she’s allergic to corn. She went from failure to thrive to a happy healthy baby. I am 100% gluten free/celiac. Most of my food uses corn as an Ingredient!
As for bonding. Let me tell ya this girl is a mamas girl and a Velcro baby. All my fears of not being bonded are so funny now. My husband said the other day and you were so worried yall wouldn’t bond.
I don’t regret it one bit! I actually gave my pump away the other day! My next child will be formula fed.
he pediatrician said “ you have tried everything. From meds to eating and drinking. Shes got severe reflux possibly from switching back and forth let’s go on formula full time. “
During the first month I text a friend I knew who exclusively FF. She kept saying it’s the best thing I ever did for my mental health! Just switch you’ll be glad.
Guess what?!!! Best thing we ever did! My Lo was slow to gain weight and had severe reflux till 3.5 turns out she’s allergic to corn. She went from failure to thrive to a happy healthy baby. I am 100% gluten free/celiac. Most of my food uses corn as an Ingredient!
As for bonding. Let me tell ya this girl is a mamas girl and a Velcro baby. All my fears of not being bonded are so funny now. My husband said the other day and you were so worried yall wouldn’t bond.
I don’t regret it one bit! I actually gave my pump away the other day! My next child will be formula fed.
@msl74pc I feel you on the mastitis. It sucks, it’s painful, I felt like shit and still have to take care of LO and pump and all that. Plus my supply never really recovered. I weened off pumping after that and I feel so great about my decision now. I didn’t always but my babe is doing so great and I don’t have to worry about pumping or being tied to that stupid machine.