@eileen7316 Very sorry to hear that. Hope you and your family can rest, recover and grieve peacefully.
Worst 6 hours of my life
- Thread starter eileen7316
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@eileen7316 Oh man I'm so sorry. You feel a loss like this in your soul.
Look after your Mrs but look after yourself too. I wish only good things for you, Reddit friend.
Look after your Mrs but look after yourself too. I wish only good things for you, Reddit friend.
seekinggod
New member
alixjohn266
New member
@eileen7316 I’m really sorry for your loss
@eileen7316 Yeah it really sucks … so sorry for your loss. My wife had a miscarriage at 8 weeks and it’s been tough. I definitely felt a loss and can’t even imagine what she was feeling. After 4 weeks she’s starting to cheer up a bit and be hopeful. At first I wanted to try again ASAP, but realizing the healing process both mentally and physically takes a few months. One thing that helps me feel better is telling myself it’s part of the process and it’s common. Unfortunately I’m definitely nervous for the next time around.
hope2makeit
New member
@eileen7316 I'm so sorry you and your wife are going through this.
You did lose a child. You already saw a heartbeat and began to see a whole life for this new child.
It hurts that those thoughts and dreams are no longer there, and it'll hurt for a while.
Grief is love with no place to go.
Please take care of yourself and support your wife. Talk about it, share your feelings.
You did lose a child. You already saw a heartbeat and began to see a whole life for this new child.
It hurts that those thoughts and dreams are no longer there, and it'll hurt for a while.
Grief is love with no place to go.
Please take care of yourself and support your wife. Talk about it, share your feelings.
@eileen7316 Sending you love dude.
Just reading about it hurts me. I can't imagine how much more of it you're feeling.
Stay strong, I'm new to this sub but I already feel the support from everyone here.
Just reading about it hurts me. I can't imagine how much more of it you're feeling.
Stay strong, I'm new to this sub but I already feel the support from everyone here.
robertvroom
New member
@eileen7316 Really sorry this happened to you and your family bro. I cannot imagine the feelings you’re all going through. I won’t say stay strong I’ll say feel the emotions you need to feel. Let the waves it and ride them out. Take time to process and find comfort in your family and friends.
You’ll get through this brother and if you need to vent I know all of us are here for you king
You’ll get through this brother and if you need to vent I know all of us are here for you king
@eileen7316 I'm so sorry man. I just went through this same kind of experience for the second time. It was 9 days ago (feb1).
We were 17+6. She randomly started bleeding at the gyn office waiting for doctor. In the span of an hour we went from excited to find out gender to checking her into the hospital for an emergency procedure.
It's the second time we've lost one in the last couple years, we've been trying for our first kid since 2019.
I've never felt lower or more alone than I felt in the waiting room of that hospital.
It hurts so bad.
Lean on your family and friends for support. Focus on healing. Keep your chin up you're not alone in this experience and many here would gladly chat you through anything your going through.
We were 17+6. She randomly started bleeding at the gyn office waiting for doctor. In the span of an hour we went from excited to find out gender to checking her into the hospital for an emergency procedure.
It's the second time we've lost one in the last couple years, we've been trying for our first kid since 2019.
I've never felt lower or more alone than I felt in the waiting room of that hospital.
It hurts so bad.
Lean on your family and friends for support. Focus on healing. Keep your chin up you're not alone in this experience and many here would gladly chat you through anything your going through.
alveno1blessed
New member
@eileen7316 Take care OP. This is heartbreaking. Wish you all the strength that you need.
toughchoice
New member
@eileen7316 I'm so sorry to hear mate. I hope you find peace and this becomes easier to bear.
prayingforpentecost
New member
@eileen7316 Man, I’m so sorry. It’s unlike anything else and I’m going through it too. I’m just gonna piggy back on yours because I don’t want to make a new post, I just need to get this out there.
My wife was pregnant with our first up until this week. She noticed some spotting, I started the anxious scrambling of reasoning how this is common, it’s nothing to worry about, it’s brown so it’s old blood, all other signs indicate that the pregnancy is normal. I reassured her that we should worry if the bleeding became bright red and if she started cramping badly.
We woke up Monday and called the doctor to explain the spotting, they got us an appointment for the next afternoon. I moved the TV into our room and brought her food and water and chocolate in bed all day; I truly thought that we would be okay. She kind of timidly said “My cramps are getting real” and a few minutes later she got up to pee. All of the sudden the worst sound, it’ll haunt me, her voice was quavering and she said “Oh my god baby it’s happening, it’s happening” and I went in and saw so much blood and clots in the toilet. She wailed and screamed and our pets didn’t know what to do and we were a mess.
I thought for a little while that maybe still this was something else, a subchorionic hemorrhage or whatever other reassurance I had seen online the day before. I went into full denial mode. I was sure that the next day we would see a heartbeat at the doctor. Then she passed more blood, and the undeniable remnants of our hopes and excitement. We both knew without a doubt that she had miscarried.
This is such a weird grief, like I’ve had friends and family die and there’s something communal about it. My childhood best friend committed suicide a year and a half ago, and old friends got together at a bar and had drinks and laughed and cried and bonded and reminisced and shared the pain. With this, people are sad for us, but I feel like only my wife and I can truly grieve. I think back to the day that she tested positive and I came home from work crying and we stayed up til 5 in the morning talking about everything imaginable, from me having to change the litter box while she’s pregnant to names to going to their sporting events to teaching them to drive, everything. We shared so much hope and excitement and love.
Friends and family are kind, they send their condolences and send food and offer an ear, or offer to take care of the pets so we can go away, but it’s really just the two of us acknowledging our loss that feels so real and so empty at the same time. Like we’re mourning the loss of an idea of a person whose name we hadn’t even settled on, whose likes and dislikes we won’t ever know.
It’s truly gut wrenching and isolating and everyone mentioning “next time” I know means well, but my wife and I can only truly mourn together. I wish you all the best in navigating this grief, and I hope that if there is a next time for either of us, it won’t end like this.
My wife was pregnant with our first up until this week. She noticed some spotting, I started the anxious scrambling of reasoning how this is common, it’s nothing to worry about, it’s brown so it’s old blood, all other signs indicate that the pregnancy is normal. I reassured her that we should worry if the bleeding became bright red and if she started cramping badly.
We woke up Monday and called the doctor to explain the spotting, they got us an appointment for the next afternoon. I moved the TV into our room and brought her food and water and chocolate in bed all day; I truly thought that we would be okay. She kind of timidly said “My cramps are getting real” and a few minutes later she got up to pee. All of the sudden the worst sound, it’ll haunt me, her voice was quavering and she said “Oh my god baby it’s happening, it’s happening” and I went in and saw so much blood and clots in the toilet. She wailed and screamed and our pets didn’t know what to do and we were a mess.
I thought for a little while that maybe still this was something else, a subchorionic hemorrhage or whatever other reassurance I had seen online the day before. I went into full denial mode. I was sure that the next day we would see a heartbeat at the doctor. Then she passed more blood, and the undeniable remnants of our hopes and excitement. We both knew without a doubt that she had miscarried.
This is such a weird grief, like I’ve had friends and family die and there’s something communal about it. My childhood best friend committed suicide a year and a half ago, and old friends got together at a bar and had drinks and laughed and cried and bonded and reminisced and shared the pain. With this, people are sad for us, but I feel like only my wife and I can truly grieve. I think back to the day that she tested positive and I came home from work crying and we stayed up til 5 in the morning talking about everything imaginable, from me having to change the litter box while she’s pregnant to names to going to their sporting events to teaching them to drive, everything. We shared so much hope and excitement and love.
Friends and family are kind, they send their condolences and send food and offer an ear, or offer to take care of the pets so we can go away, but it’s really just the two of us acknowledging our loss that feels so real and so empty at the same time. Like we’re mourning the loss of an idea of a person whose name we hadn’t even settled on, whose likes and dislikes we won’t ever know.
It’s truly gut wrenching and isolating and everyone mentioning “next time” I know means well, but my wife and I can only truly mourn together. I wish you all the best in navigating this grief, and I hope that if there is a next time for either of us, it won’t end like this.
eileen7316
New member
@prayingforpentecost Thank you for your kind words and I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this also. I would not wish this upon anyone.
I was actually reading an extract of a book yesterday on Google Books (in French, though) and it did help us a little bit. It kind of put into words what we were feeling. Like you said, it’s a different kind of grief and the book was touching on that, even giving a few hypotheses as to why it is the case. The fact that people can’t understand or share your pain, the fact that you don’t have many, if any, memories with the fetus, the fact that you don’t even know what they look like, making it tough to really get over it and then to have good memories. The fact that with a miscarriage, everything is hypothetical and in the future makes it so difficult. All we have is dreams and hopes and they are taken away. And don’t get me started on the « there will be a next time » or « at least you have a beautiful son already »… I know people mean well. But we had hopes and dreams for THIS child, not just any child.
We are comforted in a way by the fact that we know this baby was not meant to be and would not have been well, but it then leads to the inevitable « why us? ». People don’t talk a lot about this topic, which makes it seem rare, even though it’s so frequent.
Stay strong brother.
I was actually reading an extract of a book yesterday on Google Books (in French, though) and it did help us a little bit. It kind of put into words what we were feeling. Like you said, it’s a different kind of grief and the book was touching on that, even giving a few hypotheses as to why it is the case. The fact that people can’t understand or share your pain, the fact that you don’t have many, if any, memories with the fetus, the fact that you don’t even know what they look like, making it tough to really get over it and then to have good memories. The fact that with a miscarriage, everything is hypothetical and in the future makes it so difficult. All we have is dreams and hopes and they are taken away. And don’t get me started on the « there will be a next time » or « at least you have a beautiful son already »… I know people mean well. But we had hopes and dreams for THIS child, not just any child.
We are comforted in a way by the fact that we know this baby was not meant to be and would not have been well, but it then leads to the inevitable « why us? ». People don’t talk a lot about this topic, which makes it seem rare, even though it’s so frequent.
Stay strong brother.
believer1986
New member
@eileen7316 Lots of love and hugs for you both. Stay strong for each other and when you are ready to talk, talk to each other.
katrina2017
New member
@eileen7316 I'm so sorry man. We went through the same thing last year, a pregnancy that was discovered to be non-viable at 12 weeks. You think you're out of the woods, and then it hits you.
People who haven't gone through it won't understand, but this was your baby. It's OK to feel like you've lost someone, because you have, and it's so bloody hard.
It doesn't feel like it now but things will get better. Sending so much love.
People who haven't gone through it won't understand, but this was your baby. It's OK to feel like you've lost someone, because you have, and it's so bloody hard.
It doesn't feel like it now but things will get better. Sending so much love.
yosoyguapo
New member
@eileen7316 I get so crushed every time I read these things man, so I can't even begin to understand the weight you're carrying. Sending love and well wishes your way.
jeffsabres
New member
@eileen7316 Oh man, I’m so sorry, it’s so Taboo’d and hard for people to talk about and it is a weird kind of loss but loss all the same, I’m so sorry you have gone through that, although in these times you might need to adopt a care taker role for your partner and child remember that you have been effected by this too and may need to undergo some grief counselling if your situation allows you to, if you have any sort of health care around your area try and get on a waiting list for some kind of grief counselling with your partner. Good lock in the future and I’m sorry for your loss and hardship.