@liannakeller If your baby is putting themselves to sleep at 6 months without sleep training, your child is definitely not a poor sleeper (as OP is asking about). When you only have one child and they sleep well like that it is easy to assume that all babies are capable of sleeping like that, but you have just gotten very lucky! My first baby was like that; my second two were terrible sleepers after they hit the 4 month sleep regression and were waking multiple times a night until I sleep trained them at 8 and 9 months.
What happens to poor sleepers who aren’t sleep trained?
- Thread starter ebveloz
- Start date
momof3teens
New member
@ebveloz I’ll let you know when I know. Our oldest is 5, never sleep trained and mostly coslept. Always been very poor sleeper unless cosleeping then like a log. She still cannot go to sleep without us there for about 30 minutes and gets anxiety about being left. She will wake up and come into our room after 1-2 hours and meltdown if we try to put her back.
I think this is probably unrelated to sleep training or not, she’s probably just a poor sleeper with anxiety.
Younger siblings have similar issues though.
I think this is probably unrelated to sleep training or not, she’s probably just a poor sleeper with anxiety.
Younger siblings have similar issues though.
hoohkostwon
New member
@col1 Last time I've looked into this for my sister I've read that cosleeping with school age children (6+) can actually worsen anxiety.
It's certainly going to be hard to break that habit but short term pain of those meltdowns will eventually net you less and less meltdowns and more sleep. (Assuming she's neurotypical)
It's certainly going to be hard to break that habit but short term pain of those meltdowns will eventually net you less and less meltdowns and more sleep. (Assuming she's neurotypical)
@ebveloz Anecdotal (d'oh!): Sleep got much better once we stopped breastfeeding at 2.1. I was very skeptical but it did help a lot.
She's 2.6 now and she still wakes up sometimes to come snuggle/use the toilet, but she sleeps again immediately. It doesn't impact my life quality. I leave the room once she sleeps, or stay if I want to.
She also accepts dad as comfort, whereas when BFing it was all about me.
So I have no regrets not sleep training so far.
She's 2.6 now and she still wakes up sometimes to come snuggle/use the toilet, but she sleeps again immediately. It doesn't impact my life quality. I leave the room once she sleeps, or stay if I want to.
She also accepts dad as comfort, whereas when BFing it was all about me. So I have no regrets not sleep training so far.
@ebveloz I wish there was better research on this! I was a unicorn crib sleeper as a baby who night weaned myself early, sucked my thumb obsessively (ruined my teeth) and was not sleep trained (went into my parent’s bed a lot as a toddler, grew out of it) and I’m still a great sleeper. My husband is a poor sleeper (seems to run in his family) was sleep trained/CIO and never allowed to go into his parents room at night, and had nighttime anxiety and insomnia as a child and still as an adult. Could it have been different if we were parented differently? Idk.
Our daughter (12 months) is more like him - fights naps and won’t nap longer than 30 minutes without soothing, wakes quite a bit screaming at night. Responds poorly to gentle methods of encouraging her to go back to sleep on her own (pick up put down, patting her back) and refuses a pacifier and sucking fingers or thumb. She’s breast fed but stopped nursing to sleep on her own at 10 months. I always respond to her quickly at night and though we have bed shared in the past when her waking was more frequent, I am having success with her going to sleep in her own (floor) bed and sleeping in her room all night, as long as I go in to soothe her 2-4 very short wake-ups. I think she’s on track to be a typical American toddler who sleeps in her own room but still wakes at least 2x per night and needs help to go back to sleep. I see some people call that a ‘bad sleeper’ but based on the parents I actually know I think that’s pretty average
Our daughter (12 months) is more like him - fights naps and won’t nap longer than 30 minutes without soothing, wakes quite a bit screaming at night. Responds poorly to gentle methods of encouraging her to go back to sleep on her own (pick up put down, patting her back) and refuses a pacifier and sucking fingers or thumb. She’s breast fed but stopped nursing to sleep on her own at 10 months. I always respond to her quickly at night and though we have bed shared in the past when her waking was more frequent, I am having success with her going to sleep in her own (floor) bed and sleeping in her room all night, as long as I go in to soothe her 2-4 very short wake-ups. I think she’s on track to be a typical American toddler who sleeps in her own room but still wakes at least 2x per night and needs help to go back to sleep. I see some people call that a ‘bad sleeper’ but based on the parents I actually know I think that’s pretty average
@ebveloz Another anecdote, but my nephews aren’t sleep trained. One is 4.5 years and the other is 1.5 years. The 4.5 year old sleeps with his dad, wakes up several times a night and gets up before 6am every morning. The 1.5 year old sleeps separately with his mum. It looks like a nightmare parenting set up and one I try to avoid with my daughter at all costs.