Please convince me that it’s okay to quit pumping

[msl74pc]

Edit 5/8: Thank you all so much for your support, it means everything to me. I got the confidence to start taking steps towards weaning and becoming a happier mom for my baby.

Hi everyone,

My LO turns one month old today. I have been exclusively pumping since the beginning, which hasn’t been going great. I’m super prone to clogged ducts. I already have had quite a few (I’ve tried everything to prevent them), and developed mastitis last week. Today, instead of pumping every 2 or 3 hours, I went to lunch with my friends. I got home back in time to make it for a pump 4 hours after the last one, and guess what? Another clogged duct. While I’m on antibiotics for mastitis (which I know doesn’t prevent clogged ducts, but the irony of it all is killing me). I’m just feeling miserable and tied to a machine, and my mastitis has already caused my supply to be less than half of what it was.

I want the best for my baby, and while sitting here pumping in the middle of the night, I get the feeling that formula would make me and my mental health happier in the long run. I’ve been going back and forth on it for weeks. Unfortunately, I’m the type to feel like guilty for “quitting” or “giving up” and turning away from pumping. I know that I need to make this decision for myself, but I think it would help me to hear stories from moms who felt guilty in the beginning but eventually didn’t, who formula fed from the beginning and everything turned out great, or at least ultimately knew that they made the right decision switching to formula.

If I decide to quit, I’d love to be able to look back at this subreddit post and remember those who stand by me and remind me that so made the right choice. Thank you all in advance.

 

[klogan]

@msl74pc The best you can give your baby is a happy, healthy mama.

 

[jjust19]

@klogan This is it right here. Free yourself, mama.

 

[ohhcuppycakee]

@klogan I wished I quit sooner.

 

[dallascooper]

@msl74pc I went from EBF to exclusively pumping to EFF over the course of a week. Looking back on my experience now, I realize I felt the most guilt when I was couldn’t meet my little one’s needs. The relief I felt when I saw that “milk drunk” face on my baby after his first bottle is still indescribable - it’s one of my favorite pictures of him. I hope you’re able to make the decision that is right for both of you.

 

[dykema17]

@dallascooper Love that face. Especially right before they realize the bottle is gone and mouth is still in position.

 

[qqqqttty]

@msl74pc I’ve been going through the exact same journey as you. I’ve been exclusively pumping and had mastitis twice, one that sent me to the ER. I just quit last week.

It was too crazy. Just feeding my son takes half an hour with burping time included, and then what, I’m just supposed to put him down and be like “sorry little man, mama needs to pump like right now so idk just hang out?” An hour of this, every 3 hours, 24/7. That’s 8 hours, a whole night of sleep just going to feeding in one way or another. And then I’m supposed to actually sleep, take care of my boy in other ways and take care of myself as well!

It was destroying my mental health, so I stopped after contemplating it for a couple of weeks. I felt incredibly guilty, still do a bit, cause I still have a milk supply, but here are my arguments for stopping:

1. I win 4 hours every day I get to spend with my son
2. Formula is amazing these days. Don’t let anyone tell you any different.
3. I realised that what I SHOULD feel guilty about, if I should feel guilty about anything, was letting my son have a mentally exhausted and unhappy mama, when he could have a much happier and present one with just one change in our daily lives

You got this! And you’re an amazing mother. Never think it’s wrong to think about yourself. You need to be happy just as much as your child does, for BOTH your sakes

 

[muslimgamer]

@msl74pc I once read that “breast fed or formula fed, they all end up eating McDonald’s fries off the floor of your car” and for some reason that really helped me.

I wasted the early months of my little ones life focusing on trying to get my supply up, when I should’ve been focusing on bonding with him and spending time as a family. I will always regret not just letting it go earlier.

 

[peacedisciple]

@muslimgamer Same! I wasted so many hours trying to bring up my supply I feel like I missed half of her first 3 months!

 

[pulickalbrothers]

@msl74pc Quit! Your life will get so much easier.

No amount of breast milk is worth your time away from baby. Once you quit, that’s so much more time for snuggles instead of pumping and washing pump parts.

I was mostly BF with some pumping, and we are almost 3 weeks into EFF. It’s so much easier. Like, I feel lied to and duped by the lactivists of the internet, my quality of life is so much better now. I’m more bonded with my baby, and I have so much more mental space for FUN things like reading, watching tv, and carrying on conversations because I’m not thinking about my milk or boobs. My older child had to go to the ER on Sunday night (he’s fine thankfully), and I didn’t even have to think about dragging a pump along with me, or how long I could be away from baby. The freedom is incredible.

Your life will get so much better. If you’re seeking advice here, you already know deep down that this is the choice you want to make

 

[seekingadvice24]

@pulickalbrothers 1000% this!! Plus my husband is able to be way more involved and the caregiving/bonding is closer to 50-50. I also have way more energy now that I’m no longer breastfeeding because it took so much out of me and I barely had time to eat and replenish

 

[johnsaviorman]

@pulickalbrothers I am 8 weeks into EBF with my newborn. I wasn't able to breastfeed my older two, and did EFF for the first and Pumping for the second. I thought EBF would be super healing after my 'failed' first two attempts , and, like you. I feel lied to, because it hasn't been. I am not enjoying it. At all. I have lots of milk, and he has latched well from Day 1, and I simply don't enjoy it.

For me, I felt more bonded to my babes with bottle feeding, then I do from the breast. EFF, was hands down the best experience for me, and bottle washing is nowhere near as hard as feeling trapped and touched out. Mentally it hasn't been good for me at all. I am now planning to transition to formula. I don't want to do this anymore.

OP, you need to do what is right for your mental and physical health. Baby needs a happy and healthy Mum more than anything else.

 

[bhangraavenue]

@pulickalbrothers yes!!!!! SO lied to. EFF is so much better, in my opinion

 

[karentorres]

@msl74pc Go to formula! I pumped with my first because he never latched (had to be in a NICU and I wasn’t with him his whole first day.) I ended up with really severe PP hemorrhaging from 7-10 weeks PP. Pumped through all of that, but I was already starting to space out my pumps. We knew he’d do formula eventually. After a D&C which solved the hemorrhage, I told my husband I had no more interest in pumping, so that was it.

My second, I pumped 2 days, decided it was too much with a toddler and newborn, and off he went on formula. My third and last baby has been on formula since hour one. Do what’s best for you. After the first year, no one can tell who was breastfed or formula fed. My sister and I were formula fed, brother was breastfed, and no one would know the difference.

I hated pumping and so glad I quit, it made me a much more engaged mom. Wishing you luck, don’t feel guilty, as long as you’re feeding your baby, you’re doing great!

 

[job28]

@msl74pc I switched to formula at 6 weeks, started weaning at 5. I'm so glad I did. When my husband went back to work after a month, I barely had time to brush my teeth, let alone pump. It was such a relief knowing I had one less thing to worry about. And my baby didn't care one bit.

 

[smurf50]

@msl74pc Oh quit for sure. I hated pumping and couldn't do it more than once a day. Formula is such a convenient and wonderful way to feed your baby.

 

[crystalturquoise]

@msl74pc Pumping sucks so bad. I felt a rush of relief and joy when I packed up my pump and quit combo feeding. She’s thriving at 5 months on formula alone (and now also licking lots of different foods). I love that I can go have a baby-free life for several hours at a time when I’m able. A fellow mom brought her pump out for a girls night recently and I was so thrilled to not be in that situation.

 

[sarnmere]

@msl74pc I did EFF since birth. My LO just turned a year old, and he is thriving. He is such a happy guy with a wonderful, blossoming personality. We are in the process of transitioning from formula to cow's milk. He's off the bottle completely; he takes his milk from straw cups.

I love being able to share the feeds with my husband. Not just the actual feeding moment but also the prep work. I don't need to be there to make the bottle. We can prep a day's worth of bottles, and it doesn't rely on me being hooked up to a machine every so many hours. I can leave the house for as long as I'd like, and I know my baby will be fed without issue. Having that freedom, knowing my husband can bond too, and not feeling like a milk machine has been such a huge deal for my mental health. I am grateful for the impact formula has had on our first year. It allowed me to be more present for my child, and everything did turn out great.

I've never regretted EFF. Best of luck to you!

 

[robertnethromik]

@msl74pc We went EFF after 3 days because I was producing nothing, my baby was starving, my mental health was in the toilet, and after wretched experiences with the lactation consultants at the hospital I was never going to go near one again.

Formula SAVED MY LIFE and my baby’s life too. I was told to triple feed and the weight of that was so heavy and hopeless and time consuming I literally couldn’t stand it.

Feeding my baby formula allowed me to bond with him in a way I never could have with pumping or breastfeeding because I was too caught up in how badly it was going and I was resenting the hell out of my tiny baby. Once we switched to formula the focus got to be on him and us and not me and why I was failing.

God bless formula.

 

[vaccine]

@robertnethromik They also say things like take care of yourself, put your oxygen mask on first and then act like triple feeding every 3 hours is a reasonable option. It's completely wild that there is pretty much no consideration for the mother in the breast feeding relationship.