@torm3nted_soul Wow we could have used that in the NICU!
New NICU Father. All help and advice please
- Thread starter bennycross315
- Start date
oldceltichippy
New member
@bennycross315 Once its an option do as much skin to skin contact as you can possibly do.
This is a marathon not a sprint, the following months will be exhausting and take away years of your energy
Take it one day at a time and do not trust any words about when your little one will be able to come home from anybody, believing any of it is setting you up for dissapointment.
Be mentally prepared for your partner to go through pumping hell. What do i mean by that? Pumping every 2 hours, not getting enough milk out, issues with the pump etc etc etc.
Dont forget to try and get enough sleep and drink enough water, us fathers tend to forget about one or the other.
This is a marathon not a sprint, the following months will be exhausting and take away years of your energy
Take it one day at a time and do not trust any words about when your little one will be able to come home from anybody, believing any of it is setting you up for dissapointment.
Be mentally prepared for your partner to go through pumping hell. What do i mean by that? Pumping every 2 hours, not getting enough milk out, issues with the pump etc etc etc.
Dont forget to try and get enough sleep and drink enough water, us fathers tend to forget about one or the other.
wernerkruger
New member
@bennycross315 Oh I’m so sorry, this is so so scary. My husband was in a similar position as you. Right now, in the immediate first couple weeks, you’ll be scattered between both of their rooms. For your wife- focus on how you can help her as she’s recovering from surgery- bringing her to the bathroom or showering, getting her water, etc. If she’s pumping, you are going to coordinate the whole process of cleaning parts and rushing milk down to the baby. For your baby, visit her, sing to her, and let her know you are there. I know it doesn’t feel like much, but it’s all you need to do right now.
Then for yourself- make sure you take care of the basics like eating and sleeping. It’s hard in these emotional states, but you have to keep yourself well to be there for both of them.
I’d also recommend looking into Project NICU, they have mentor programs and support groups for dads specifically.
Wishing all of you so much health and strength, and may this one day fade away as a hard start to a beautiful life for your daughter.
Then for yourself- make sure you take care of the basics like eating and sleeping. It’s hard in these emotional states, but you have to keep yourself well to be there for both of them.
I’d also recommend looking into Project NICU, they have mentor programs and support groups for dads specifically.
Wishing all of you so much health and strength, and may this one day fade away as a hard start to a beautiful life for your daughter.
@bennycross315 Everyone else is already given great advice. I just want to say take care of yourself and make sure your wife is taken care of herself too. She will feel guilty and it's not her fault. Don't feel like you have to punish yourself or be at the NICU all day long, every single day. You will burn yourself out like that. You are looking at several months of this. It's best to get into a routine that works for you.
@bennycross315 Take it one day at a time and just try to focus on the overall progress. Everything will likely be 1 step forward and 2 steps back until the very end, which could be a while.
Go get lunch outside of the hospital. Go get doughnuts and bring a dozen back for the nurses. I tried to be there as much as possible and felt guilty anytime I wasn’t, but you need those short breaks to keep your sanity.
Just cry. Don’t try to hold it in. It’s normal and no one will judge you for being sad/upset.
Find a few NICU nurses that you like and request that they take care of your baby when they work. Usually the nurse or unit manager makes the patient assignments and can make this happen. It goes a long way because they get to know your baby and can tell when something doesn’t look right. We had a pair of RN’s that essentially saved our baby’s life when she got septic (infection) because of their quick intervention before things really went south. We still visit them to this day whenever we are in town or have an appointment and my daughter is 2.5yo.
I don’t have much on the wife aspect as my wife had our daughter naturally at 28 weeks but just be supportive and try to help her out. Wash bottles, help with pumping, etc. It goes a long way.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you!
Go get lunch outside of the hospital. Go get doughnuts and bring a dozen back for the nurses. I tried to be there as much as possible and felt guilty anytime I wasn’t, but you need those short breaks to keep your sanity.
Just cry. Don’t try to hold it in. It’s normal and no one will judge you for being sad/upset.
Find a few NICU nurses that you like and request that they take care of your baby when they work. Usually the nurse or unit manager makes the patient assignments and can make this happen. It goes a long way because they get to know your baby and can tell when something doesn’t look right. We had a pair of RN’s that essentially saved our baby’s life when she got septic (infection) because of their quick intervention before things really went south. We still visit them to this day whenever we are in town or have an appointment and my daughter is 2.5yo.
I don’t have much on the wife aspect as my wife had our daughter naturally at 28 weeks but just be supportive and try to help her out. Wash bottles, help with pumping, etc. It goes a long way.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you!
@bennycross315 First of all, congratulations on the birth of your little peanut. Take it one moment at a time. Get support from family, friends and if you choose to, your faith. Look up Hand To Hold. It’s a support site for NICU families.
Let me give you some perspective. I was a 26 week preemie who’s now an adult. Since I was born in 1988, research on prematurity has greatly advanced medical science that can help preemies survive. Don’t let yourself fall into despair. Preemies grow. Have hope.
Let me give you some perspective. I was a 26 week preemie who’s now an adult. Since I was born in 1988, research on prematurity has greatly advanced medical science that can help preemies survive. Don’t let yourself fall into despair. Preemies grow. Have hope.
@bennycross315 If they allow do as much Kangaroo care as possible.