Please share your 3yo morning getting ready routines because holy h*** I’m exhausted

[lightsofeverything]

@priya12 I don't know what your routine is but what works for me is to do everything very quickly. I pick his clothes the night before and dress him while he's still laying in bed waking up. I carry him downstairs where his breakfast is already waiting. I put on his shoes while he's in his high chair. I tell him to use the potty and we do the bathroom routine when he's already fed and dressed. And then out the door. Takes 20ish minutes from when I get him up to when we leave. Of course, I have to prepare the night before and be up earlier than him in the morning.

 

[quietbloke2]

@priya12 I prep everything for the morning the night before. We pick his outfit and set everything up the night before. I put everything we need in our living room the night before--clothes, bookbag, shoes, etc. This keeps everything together in one place and we aren't running circles around the house getting ready. First thing in the morning, I get up and prep his lunchbox and fix his breakfast before I get him from his room (breakfast on school mornings is easy and usually consists of foods he can carry in the car if he doesn't finish eating before we leave). While he eats his breakfast, I finish getting myself ready. Once I'm ready to go, I get my kid dressed and ready and we're on our way.

I think keeping it simple and consistent is the big thing. Also giving as few morning choices as possible saves a lot of frustration. All big choices are made before bed and anything chosen is final. I let him know that we made the decision together the night before and that is what he chose. Eg. If he wants to wear something else, he can choose it for tomorrow.

 

[stillsearchinggod]

@priya12 We have our almost 3yo pick her clothes after her nightly bath and wears that to school the next day. We used to do 2 choices from 12m but then she started going into her drawers on her own and getting stuff out, so I put them all on hangers in the closet for her and she likes it a lot.

Every morning is potty, brush teeth, change to underwear (still training overnight), do hair (or not, her choice) and then breakfast. Any resistance is met with the question of if she wants to do something herself or have Mommy/Daddy do it for her. If she won't choose, we do a count down of 5 seconds to help her with the transition and she'll choose by the countdown end.

Breakfast she usually tells us what she wants but allow her to change her mind if we haven't gotten it out and prepped for eating. All her utensils and bowls, plates, cups are in a low cabinet for her to grab herself. If she finishes breakfast early, we allow her to play or watch TV til it's time to go to school. We set a timer of 10 seconds to 5 min with a warning to her that were leaving when the timer goes off. This works well- she'll even turn the TV off herself.

In the meantime, I get the bags ready and get them loaded in the car. She used to love pressing the button to open the garage or trunk or close the trunk which helped motivate her to get her shoes on and go. These days it's a small treat like a mini pack of mini gummy bears or a mini Starburst lol. Whatever works!

 

[nyr94]

@priya12 A fun thing she can hold/do in the car. Kids that age also love races and competition.

 

[ravi84m]

@priya12 I've been finishing it's easier to leave the hair and shoes for in the car before jumping out. I've tried timing it any which way even to the last second before we leave but it upsets her to be told to sit still when she's so excited to go out.

So now she goes out with a beanie and maybe shoes or maybe I carry her barefoot. Into the car seat. Drive to destination and the fix hair and shoes. It's extra easy too coz you get to say, do you want to go to the shop? Then we have to put on shoooes.

 

[chiatea]

@priya12 Clothes before food. If she’s hungry in the morning she’ll catch on real quick.

 

[nas22345]

@priya12 Is it just for Montessori or leaving the house in general?

My kid has a hard time transitioning between lots of things, but especially indoor and outdoor time.

Also, you mentioned 3 mornings a week - are they consecutive days or every other day?

If it's consecutive, do you find shes a little more easy going on the 3rd day?

My kid goes to daycare everyday but Mondays are extra hard because of being out of the routine of it over the weekend.

 

[priya12]

@nas22345 Sadly the 3rd day isn’t easier. It’s for leaving for most things actually, even things she truly loves. Getting out for Saturday gymnastics is a nightmare even though it’s her absolute favorite thing.

 

[nas22345]

@priya12 Hmm, I feel you. We're kind of the same over here. Some days are worse than others.

I'm seriously considering an occupational therapist, but I keep flip flopping because I'm like meh maybe it's just normal toddler behavior.

 

[cutin]

@nas22345 OT can probably help, but if you haven't come across the concept of stress behaviour, I would read one of these first:

https://www.amazon.com/Self-Reg-Child-Stress-Successfully-Engage-ebook/dp/B017SCQL8M/

https://www.amazon.com/Brain-Body-Parenting-Managing-Behavior-Resilient-ebook/dp/B09791SRQV/

 

[cutin]

@nas22345 Actually that makes a lot of sense. I hadn't thought of it in terms of PDA before. I had thought about an overlap between PDA and ODD, but it could all be different interpretations of stress behaviour / different presentations associated with certain patterns of dysregulation.

 

[nancyjuann]

@priya12 So, it took awhile to figure this out. But:

1. Wake up at least 45 minutes (better if 1 hour) before we need to leave the house
2. Play fun music to initiate wake up and try to do something resulting in hugs or giggles... a good mood makes everything easier (5-10 minutes)
3. Go potty (or at least TRY to go potty) (5-10 minutes)
4. Allow for some kind of play time (5-10 minutes) - We don't need this as much anymore but was CRUCIAL at the beginning - he doesn't want to only do annoying/boring stuff with family in the morning, he wants some good times before he has to be away from us for 7-ish hours!
5. Eat breakfast (10-15 minutes) - nothing more complicated than a toaster waffle, but usually a "healthy" bar or even goldfish crackers if we need to
6. Brush teeth (2 minutes)
7. "Reward" for brushing teeth is watching a video on the phone... (10-15 minutes) during which we take advantage of his distraction to:
   
   7a) Get dressed (he has a uniform for preschool so no clothes picking)
   
   7b) Comb hair
   
   7c) Put on chapstick and lotion
   
   7d) Put on shoes
   
   7e) Put on coat/hat/gloves
8. Get into the car (2-5 minutes)

The key is to plan for something to go wrong in there. If you have cushion time built in, you (usually) have some wiggle room for meltdowns. ALSO it should theoretically only take 15 minutes to get to school but we tell ourselves it takes 30 minutes, because inevitably the meltdowns will go longer than we allowed for OR there will be unexpected traffic. Or both.

 

[priya12]

@nancyjuann I like the music idea. She is usually so happy in the mornings though, even talking about going to school. We just crash right at the end…

 

[nancyjuann]

@priya12 On the ride, we started listening to a podcast (But Why?) and it's the special thing he only gets to do on the ride to school. Maybe something similar could work? If not a podcast, a toy or treat in the car, etc. Something to look forward to.

 

[faith87]

@priya12 Mine is 2.5, daycare full time, & I do early dropoff for my 4th grader on the way there. Honestly, the easiest/fastest solution has been for me to change the night diaper/potty, pop in car seat in pajamas, hand him a breakfast pouch/bar/waffle, drive. I have a bag in the car with clothes, pull-ups & toothbrush. He never fights getting ready in the car, (idk why), & he’s always much happier/cooperative after the 30 min drive snacking & waking up.

 

[poetbdk]

@priya12 I am going through this with my 3 yr old. I used to let him watch a show and cuddle on the couch while I made breakfast/coffee for the day. Then I'd try to get him to eat or get dressed and it was like pulling teeth and taking forever. I was stressed as hell every day. I started:

- Waking up at least 15 min (preferably 30 min) before him to drink coffee in peace and mentally prepare for the morning

- Drawing him our must do checklist: eat breakfast, brush teeth, get dressed, and drive to school. The first time I showed him the list I said "OK, here are the things we need to do before school. Driving is the last thing we do, so you pick what of the other three items you want to do first. Once you are done you can check off the box!" He LOVED this (and also loved to criticize my terrible drawing, lol. "Mama, that doesn't look like our car!").

-No show unitl he marks each item off his list. If he does each one quickly enough, he will have time for a short show. Once the show is over, no negotiating and straight to the car.

-I've started incorporating the clock into our mornings because he's very interested in the numbers on the clock. I'll say "Ok kiddo, the numbers say 7 2 5 now. When they say 7 3 5 you'll need to get dressed so we have time for a show!" Or "Okay, we have time for a ten minute show, then we are leaving when the clock say 8 1 0". This morning he was loving checking the clock - although at the end he said "I want to keep watching it until I see 9!" haha, had to explain that defeats the purpose.

Tantrums have reduced substantially since doing this. Now if only I can figure out the solution to a smooth bedtime.... sigh.

 

[oneandonlyisation]

@priya12 My daughter just turned 4. Not a morning person, must have gotten it from me. We dress in clean clothes in the evening, so we skip the dreaded morning change of clothes. I wake her up slowly, lots of cuddles. Then I start narrating what will happen: in 5 minutes mom will go and get ready, cuddle a couple of minutes more, in 5 minutes we will try and go potty. I fix her hair on the potty. In 5 minutes we will get our shoes and clothes on. She can pick a toy to carry to kindergarden. Walking is hard for her in the mornings, so she often opts for the scooter. If it's a particularly hard morning I just pull the scooter with her on it. I try to address problematic moments with humour, tickles, songs. Sometimes bribe her with a vitamin or probiotic gummy. She gets cold easily in the mornings, so I'm careful to dress her enough and carry gloves and a beanie with me at all times.

 

[kels]

@priya12 The toddler morning anger is tough. We let him sleep in his school clothes for the next day. So the nights before he goes to school instead of PJs, he picks out his school clothes. It’s been 3+ months and a total game changer. One less thing to fight about in the morning.

I also did the timer trick before- “let’s see how fast you can get ready” and he was into it for a couple weeks but then it just made him more angry

 

[jay5911]

@priya12 We dress our kid at bedtime. So come morning go potty and choose underwear since we do pull ups at night. She like to choose the color or her ponytail. But yes it’s very hard. I’m trying to be one step ahead of her and think of ways to distract her. I sing and brush. But I have to mix things up to distract her. I also promise her she can watch a video in car while I buckle her. To get her moving.

 

[dizzydodo]

@priya12 I have the same problem with this. My daughter wants to stay home and tries to stall by creating opposition on everything. It’s is her method of staying at home longer. As frustrating this is, their intention is always pure: gaining autonomy, loving being at home. What I do is be consistent, we do the same every morning, we don’t change even if she is not happy and throws a tantrum and we leave even if I have to “help her”, literally carry her, to the car.